Keep telling yourself that. It’s easier than admitting you’re nothing but a damn coward.
Marisa pulled the zip on her case closed. Hard. The lump in her throat choking her. Because of course she was a coward. Leaving Luke went deeper than his lying to her. It was about the fact that she was scared. Afraid of making a mistake. Terrified of screwing up.
He was an incredible man, OCD or not, and he deserved better. Certainly better than anything an ex-beauty queen and failed model could offer him.
More stupid, self-pitying tears prickled the backs of her eyes but she refused to let them fall this time. Instead she straightened, picked her case up. Then turned to give the room a last-minute check to make sure she hadn’t left anything behind. There was nothing. It was empty. Whenever he finally managed to leave the garage, he’d get up there to find no trace of her presence. As though she’d never been there.
An impulse grabbed her suddenly. The need to leave something behind. A token of herself.
Putting down her case, Marisa reached up to the catch of her blue bead necklace and undid it.
Then she gently coiled it in her palm and put it down on the dresser.
If he went in there, he’d find it.
She couldn’t leave him with nothing.
…
Luke straightened the coaster under his beer glass. Then straightened it a little more because it wasn’t quite right. He knew he’d been doing it a lot for the past while, but the pub where they were having their Friday lunchtime drink was noisy and he couldn’t concentrate.
“Okay, hold it, Cal,” Joseph said, interrupting Caleb’s monologue on the trials of organizing a wedding. “What’s up, Luke?”
Luke glanced up from his study of the coaster to find both his friends staring at him. “What? What do you mean what’s up?”
Joseph raised a brow. “You’ve been straightening that damn coaster for the past hour. Something’s the matter.”
His fingers itched, wanted to creep out and move the stupid thing again. He clenched them instead, trying to bury the compulsion. “Nothing’s the matter.”
“Oh yeah?” Caleb shook his head. “Come on, mate. You didn’t say anything when I complained about Judith’s wedding budget. I even gave you some figures.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. It’s too noisy in here.” Because it was. Also, there was a woman at the bar with long blond curls who kept tossing her head. And each time she did he had to check that it wasn’t Marisa. It wasn’t. Yet he had to keep checking in case he hadn’t seen her properly.
Fine? You’re a wreck and you have been for the past week.
The woman laughed and he found himself turning again. To make sure it wasn’t her.
“Ah,” Joseph said, his eyes widening.
“Ah?” Luke asked flatly. “What does that mean?”
“It’s Marisa, isn’t it?”
Caleb leaned forward. “Marisa? What’s Marisa got to do with this?”
“She was staying with Luke,” Joseph explained, not waiting for Luke to either confirm or deny. “At least that’s what Christie told me.”
“Well, she’s not anymore,” Luke was compelled to point out. “She left last week.”
“Wait,” Caleb said, holding up a hand. “Back up a step. Why the hell was Marisa staying with you? I thought you weren’t interested in her?”
Luke clenched his fingers tighter. Bloody coaster still wasn’t right. Ignoring Caleb’s questions, he said, “What makes you think it’s got anything to do with Marisa?”
“Because you keep checking out that blond chick by the bar,” Joseph replied.
“I could find her attractive.”
“If you found her attractive, then why are you looking so pissed off?”
“Oh,” Caleb said. “Mate…”
Luke scowled. “Fine. You want to know? Here’s the deal. Marisa and I had a one-night stand. She got pregnant. I asked her to come and live with me because of the checking behaviors and we agreed. It didn’t work out so she left. That’s what happened.”
The other two men stared at him.
“What?” Luke demanded.
“Well, finally,” Joseph said at last. “I wondered whether you were ever going to tell me yourself. Relying on Christie for information about one of my best friends was getting dull. You should have said something.”
He straightened the coaster. Again. “It didn’t come up.” Was it time to leave? He had things to do. Lots of things to do.
Caleb picked up his beer and raised bottle. “Uh, congratulations? Or not?”
Luke didn’t look at him. “Thank you.” The woman at the bar was laughing again, and again he glanced at her. Again she wasn’t Marisa.