“What’s it going to take for you to believe me?”
“Nothing. It’s going to take—”
But the words died in her throat as he bent his head and covered her mouth with his. And it was instinct that had her melting against him, the way she always did when he touched her, kissed her. Arching into him. Opening her mouth to his. Because this too was easier. Simpler.
She kissed him hungrily, winding her arms around his neck, waiting for the moment when they’d both ignite and he’d push her down onto the bed and take her hard and fast.
Yet the moment didn’t come.
He held her in his arms, his mouth slow and sure on hers, tasting her, gently exploring her. There was no rush this time, no explosion of desire, though that was there. It was as if he was carefully building a fire. Starting with dry tinder, feeding it with kindling. Stoking the flames.
She shivered, her hands pushing into the thick black silk of his hair, pressing her body against his, trying to incite him. Because she didn’t want slow and careful. Fast and furious was better. Less dangerous. She could lose herself in pure physical pleasure so she didn’t have to feel anything else.
“Don’t do that,” he murmured against her mouth. “Keep still. I want to show you something.”
“What?”
“Keep still and you’ll find out.”
Her heart raced. She wanted to find out and yet another part of her told her that sticking around would be a mistake. That she should be leaving, getting away from him and the complicated mix of emotion he always seemed to generate inside her. “I should…I should be going…”
His hand moved to the neck of her blouse and he began to undo the buttons one by one. “You can leave. But then you won’t see what I want to show you.”
She should make some kind of jokey comment right about now, say something flippant, but she couldn’t think of what. The expression on Luke’s face was absorbed as he finished unbuttoning her blouse, as if it was an important task he was doing.
She wasn’t used to slow with him. She didn’t want slow with him. “Stop, Luke. I’m not sure what you’re trying to do here, but—”
“Marisa.”
The racing of her heart wouldn’t go away. She tried to take a deep breath, get some calm back. “What?”
“Do you trust me?”
The question seemed to come out of nowhere. “I’m not sure…what you mean?”
The look in his eyes made her want to run away and hide for some reason. “Do you trust me?” he repeated.
Her heart continued to race, anxiety twisting in the pit of her stomach. And she couldn’t work out why she was anxious, because he was trustworthy, she knew it. He was the most honest, kindhearted man she’d ever met. But admitting it to him felt like the start of something more. The start of a something she couldn’t bear to contemplate.
She put a hand on his chest. “Tell me what’s going on, Luke.”
He was silent a moment. “I want to show you that you’re not a routine. Or a broken rule. You’re a woman I want touch. To kiss. To hold. You’re important, Marisa. You’re important to me.”
A fine crack appeared in her armor, running all the way through. “Luke, I—”
“Close your eyes. Let me show you.”
She should be running away from him. Protecting herself from him. But she didn’t. Instead she closed her eyes. And felt his mouth on her again, brushing over hers, kissing her throat. Not fast and hard but slow, exploratory. He stroked her bare stomach, up around her rib cage, touching her as though she was something precious. Taking his time.
She trembled a little, her skin sensitized, goose bumps rising everywhere. Luke fast was pretty overwhelming, but Luke slow would be devastating.
You don’t want this again. You don’t want to feel anything for him.
No. She didn’t. But she did nothing while he gently pushed her blouse off her shoulders, his hands skimming lightly up her sides, unhurried. He kissed her throat and the breath went out of her. She leaned into him as she gripped his shoulders. Beneath the fine wool of his jacket his muscles were rigid with tension.
And she knew why.
He was so tidy and anal about changing his clothes. The moment he walked in the door he’d put his briefcase down and go to his bedroom, take off his suit, and hang it up. She’d watched him do it. No matter how badly he wanted her, no matter how impatient he was to get to her, he always changed his clothes. It was one of his routines.
Except for now. And it was clearly bothering him.
Her heart tightened inside her chest, as if there were a large hand squeezing it. She didn’t like that he was bothered. It hurt. “Luke.” She cupped his strong jaw in her hand. “Stop.”