Possibly it was due to the fact that for the past week, he’d been breaking the rules regarding workplace relationships and it was making him extremely uncomfortable. Not the sex part, no, that was good. It was the keeping secret part of it he hated.
But then he didn’t have any other option. He couldn’t be seen not following his own regulations, and to change them to suit himself was downright wrong.
You could just stop sleeping with her.
No, and that was the most urgent problem. He…couldn’t. His need to touch her, kiss her, hold her, have her in his bed, overrode everything else. And the nights they spent together only made him want her more.
She was so amazingly sexy, and yet it wasn’t only the sex that made him want her. She’d kept the majority of her chaos to her room. There had been one or two issues with keeping the kitchen in order and several times he’d found her hairbrush and one or two other female implements in his room but on the whole, she’d been fantastic. Certainly while she was around, that itching, prickly sensation that made him have to keep checking on her was gone. In fact, having her around made the OCD more manageable than it had been in years.
Except for now, when he hadn’t seen her since that morning. And the good feeling he’d had at the start of the day was fraying. Stretching out. It was almost as if he…missed her.
Lunch. It was only lunch. And he’d thought to ask her because as he was shaving this morning, he’d happened to catch a glimpse of her in the mirror. She was standing in nothing but that pretty silver-and-black lingerie and pulling a face. And as he watched, she suddenly tugged off the lovely bra and picked up another one that had been lying on the bed. A much plainer, more practical white one. Then she’d put it on and, he had to admit, he’d been disappointed because he’d been enjoying the view of her beautiful breasts. She’d carefully adjusted the straps over her shoulders and around the sides, short, sharp movements that he knew were little routines, and began to dress in the rest of her clothes.
And it came to him then that although he knew the sexy, beautiful Marisa in her red lace thong, or naked on the bonnet of his car, he didn’t really know the Marisa who wore bunny panties, who sometimes preferred her plain white bra to her sexy, lacy one. Marisa who’d cried into his handkerchief. Who’d given him a hug.
This seemed wrong. A dance only half-completed. A routine only half-done. He couldn’t only know half of her. He had to know all of her. A logical step, given they would be raising a child together.
Except what if she wants to know about you?
That was a problem. Because she couldn’t know all of him, could she? Not while he kept the thing that ruled his life such a secret. Unless, of course, he told her about it. But then what would she say? Would she think he was crazy as everyone else in his life had?
He’d thought about it all morning and he knew he couldn’t go on with the rest of his day until he’d talked to her. Lunch. They’d have lunch and they’d talk. Get to know each other better and then maybe… Maybe he could say something.
It was either that or he ended it between them. Made her one of his “two-week girlfriends.” And she didn’t deserve that. She really didn’t.
Luke gave his tie one last tiny adjustment. Checked his watch one last time. And took a deep breath.
Whatever happened, it wasn’t going to end well, that was for sure.
…
At five minutes to one, Marisa found herself checking her hair and makeup in the mirror of her compact. Seemed a silly thing to do. Like something you’d do before a date. And this wasn’t really a date, was it? But that didn’t stop her from touching up her lipstick and fiddling with the loose curls around her face.
“Hot lunch date?” Ben asked as he passed by her desk.
“No date.” Marisa shut her compact with a snap. “Just lunch.”
Ben gave her a skeptical glance. “Never seen you touch up your lipstick for ‘just lunch.’”
“Hey, I have an image to maintain.”
“With the big boss?”
Marisa frowned at him. “How did you know?”
“Rumors.”
Oh hell. “Okay, so I’m having lunch with Luke. It’s…personal.”
“Personal?” Ben’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
“We’re friends. No big deal.”
Clearly this was difficult for Ben. He narrowed his gaze at her for a long moment, then at last said, “Right. Well, don’t be late.”
As if Luke would ever let that happen.
Sure enough, he arrived perfectly on time and Marisa tried to ignore the interested glances from the rest of her colleagues as she walked with him out of the Total Tech offices.