Several of the women laugh at the visual. It’s unexpectedly nice to have this lighthearted feel to the class for once. We’re all still taking this seriously, but not ominously. I think Joe might need to assist in more classes.
“If you can get a good stomp in,” Joe says, “then do it. But don’t waste precious time chasing after his feet. A kick to the nuts is way more effective and he can’t move those around as easily as he can his feet.”
The class laughs again and I look over at Rocky. She’s smiling, laughing along at her brother. I’ve only seen her look like this a couple of times. It nearly takes my breath away how a smile can transform her.
Her gaze shifts from Joe to me, and our eyes lock. She just busted me watching her, but I don’t look away. I keep staring because there isn’t anything or anyone I’d rather look at.
“We should practice,” I say. “Partner up and run through strikes on all the vital points. Eyes, ears, nose, neck, groin, knees, and shins.”
“We didn’t go over the groin,” someone speaks up, drawing my attention from Rocky.
“Kick, hit, pull, twist,” I explain. “Trust me, any negative attention to a man’s groin area will work. This is a really good starter for doubling up. Kick him in the nuts, when he bends forward or drops to his knees, clap his ears, poke his eyes, or strike the neck. And then?”
“Run,” they answer in harmony. And if I’m not mistaken, I think Rocky chimed in as well.
Ten
Rocky
“You coming?” Joe asks as he shoulders his gym bag.
“Uh, not yet. Link’s going to give me a ride.”
He raises a dark brow, casting a questioning look my way. I knew this was coming, but I’m no more ready to explain than I was a few days ago.
“What’s going on between you guys?” He takes a step closer to me, lowering his voice. “Are you dating?”
I huff out a laugh. Is oral sex dating these days? I’m a little rusty, so I can’t be sure. “No. We’re just…friends.”
“Friends,” he repeats. “You haven’t made new friends since high school.”
I arch a brow, mimicking him, and letting him know he’s becoming annoying. “What’s your point, Joe?”
He shrugs. “It’s good, right?”
I see now. My dumbass brother thinks because I actually have a friend that I’m magically getting past my rape. Everything is sunshine and unicorns because I don’t detest one guy.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” I say trying to make him understand. One person isn’t going to make it go away.
And then it dawns on me. One person isn’t going to make it go away. I’ve been on this search for someone who can erase what Garrett did to me, but it’s not possible. There is never going to be a person who can make it un-happen. Nobody is going to take it away or make it better.
Doug couldn’t do it in high school.
All the random bar guys couldn’t do it.
And Link can’t do it either.
Nobody can.
It’s always going to be there.
Garrett is always going to be there.
“I still think it’s good,” Joe says. “You need friends.” He touches the tips of his fingers to my elbow before he walks away. “See you Monday,” he calls over his shoulder as the door closes behind him.
Link pulls the office door closed and smiles. “Are you ready?”
Am I? I don’t know. I looked forward to this all day. The thought of another night like last night had me anxious all day long, anticipating what he had in mind. My thoughts were engulfed with the ecstasy I would find with him. However, my new discovery has my libido held hostage. All my thoughts are once again focused on Garrett Marshall.
“I never worked up that sweat,” I murmur. I hear the sexual innuendo in my words, but my voice doesn’t reflect it. Link picks up on it immediately.
“Everything okay?”
That. That right there. The concerned look in his eyes. I hate it. I despise it. I loathe it with everything inside of me.
“No,” I utter. “Nothing’s okay.” I shake my head slowly as I try to gather my thoughts. “I hate living like this.”
“Like what?” He moves closer. I back away. He pauses, his head cocked to the side, confused.
“I’m scared. All the time. I don’t want to be like this. I want to do it.”
“Do what?” he asks. “I’m not following.”
Of course he’s not. How can he follow when I don’t understand myself? Emotions are evil bastards. They twist you up, confuse you, knock you down, lift you high, and then drop you on your ass.