"Hush now. I'm getting to that."
"Please?"
"I mean it. Hush."
She fell silent and I felt her slip back down into surrender. So amazing. So trusting.
Time to reward her for it. I stopped teasing and slid all the way into her. Her head came up with a gasp and I guessed that she wasn't expecting me to go so deep or to feel so big. I honestly haven't compared dick size with too many other guys-I mean, other than the guys in the band-but that was the reaction of a lot of women.
There are a lot of parts of sex I like. I like kissing and I like orgasm and I like everything in between. But there's something special about that first moment of penetration. I get pissed off when they don't bother to show that part in porn. That first time the key fits in the lock is special. I wondered if she felt it, too. It seemed like it, as she kept her head back and a long moan of pleasure slowly escaped from her. Each time she breathed I felt her squeeze me. She turned her head to the side and I saw her eyes were closed in ecstasy. And to think I hadn't even started to move yet.
I love that first minute or so after penetration, while my partner's body is molding inside to fit me.
Ricki Hamilton was reshaping her insides in the shape of my cock.
I had to be careful with thoughts like that. Almost made myself come. Maybe it was just the intensity of the moment but it felt to me like a perfect fit, and I don't just mean like a hand in a glove-heart, mind, soul, I was in her and it felt like I belonged there.
You're just high on the Grammys, I told myself. Christina had warned me about having a "Velcro" reaction to groupie sex, but never once had I felt like this just from putting my cock into someone.
But of course it wasn't "just" that. It was the way she had looked at me, the way she had felt in my arms, the scent of her skin and the sound of her voice. Her firm but long-suffering voice when she had been struggling to keep being polite to that tool of a date she'd brought, and her quavering, overwhelmed voice as she'd submitted to me. I'd played around with BDSM with some girls before, cheeky bottoms who liked being spanked and fucked hard. It was like an extreme sport to them and I'd enjoyed it, but it had never made me feel like this.
Like I never wanted to pull out. Like I never wanted my skin to stop touching hers. I leaned down, pressing my chest to her back, moving the stray parts of her dress so I could get as much skin contact as I could.
And then I murmured in her ear, the orange-blossom scent of her hair intoxicating me. "Are you ready for me to move?"
She nodded, her breathing rough.
"Good. Because I've wanted to do this since I first saw you." Dirty talk, for sure, and a little bravado on my part since I really couldn't come up with words to describe how complete I felt with her in my arms, with her body joined with mine.
I started slow, withdrawing a few inches, but my own urgency and need to claim her drove me to snap my hips hard, as if I could crack open the secrets of Ricki Hamilton that way.
She was gorgeous under me. I should have made her take the dress all the way off so I could see more of her, but then again being partly draped with fancy fabrics was sexy, too. Her spine was long and straight, her skin shimmering with perspiration, the curves of her ass pale and perfect. She matched my rhythm as I sped up and set a long-distance runner sort of pace, as if she were in sync with me. Unmatched. Could sex be better than this, could a woman be more perfect?
Wait. I thought of a way to make the sex better, and it was the same way as before. Dominate her. Spanking was way too obvious.
"I'm in control of your pleasure, Ms. Hamilton."
She nodded, lowering her head to the carpet again. So beautiful in her submission. So sweet.
"It's time for you to come again," I told her, as I reached under her to find her clit.
"I don't think I can," she said breathlessly.
"Say my name," I urged her. What had we said it meant earlier? That it was the word for the man who owned her pleasure? "I want an orgasm, Ms. Hamilton."
"Axel," she said, and sucked in a breath as my fingers squeezed her clit from the sides at the same time I thrust into her.
"If you can't, you can't, but you have to at least try. For me."
"Yes, Axel," she said, her eyes closed with effort now, her body rocking back against me.
"That's a good girl," I said. "I'm not coming until you do."
I brought her to the edge again, her moans and gasps loud and desperate, her muscles gripping me tight inside, but I couldn't seem to get her to go over the edge. Holding back was getting harder and harder the more sounds she made and the louder she got. I felt like having demanded that she come again, I owed it to her and myself to make sure she came again. Otherwise we'd both be let down.
"Hands behind your back," I commanded and nearly came myself when she instantly complied. Intending to just keep her in that position, I tore a decorative strip of fabric from her dress and wrapped it around her wrists.
But the moment I pulled the binding tight she went off, screaming and spasming inside, an orgasm so sudden and intense that it triggered mine, too. I drove into her with every ounce of energy I had left.
When I was finished I didn't even want to go soft because it was going to mean slipping out of her. Maybe Sakura was right about the dom thing being more important than I gave it credit for.
Maybe there was no maybe about it.
CHAPTER FOUR
RAZOR SHARP
RICKI
I had never been completely undone by sex before. I had thought it was all about wanting cock. Big deal: Gwen had a whole catalog of high tech ones of those. But once I had Axel Hawke's cock inside me I realized the intense craving for him to fuck me had been so large it was hiding a much more frightening need.
A need for connection. Like we were the only two people in the world, like I was the only person who mattered to him and he was the only one who mattered to me. I worried about so many people-my sister, my father, my staff, my boss at Blue Star, the press-but in that moment it was as if they were on the other side of a glass wall, a wall he built with his … his … dominance. When Axel was in control my worries were shoved out the door. Then I felt him moving inside me. Until then I hadn't realized that the deep-deep ache I felt in my bones was loneliness. A pain no space age dildo could assuage.
While he fucked me Axel became my everything. My absolute everything. And in the moment that felt so right, so good, so noble and true.
But then it was over and I started to "come to my senses." As I lay there under Axel Hawke with my cheek against the limo's carpet, I thought: That expression is completely wrong. First you come. And then your senses return one at a time. First came sensation, or maybe that had never left. But now instead of feeling the pounding beat of pleasure below my hips, the main thing I noticed was how scratchy the carpet was against my face. At least the carpet didn't smell. Then came hearing. The limo was still moving and I could hear the thump-thump of the stereo of a car passing us on the freeway. My tongue tasted like I had run a marathon and I wished for Grant's champagne. The realization of what had just happened-what I had just done-was starting to creep in. I opened my eyes. The scrap of cloth he'd tied my wrists together with had ended up on the floor next to my face and the disco ball was still going.
"Could we turn that thing off?" I asked.
Axel popped upright. "Sure." He switched it off, and changed the lights to a rosy indirect glow. "That better?"
"Much." I moved slowly, investigating how I felt physically while I put off examining my emotions as long as possible.
I tried to pull the gown up around myself and decided modesty at this point was borderline hypocritical. Especially when Axel, buck naked, rearranged himself to recline comfortably on his side, his head propped on one bent arm. Now I could see the tattoo was a long, skinny black dragon that had one of his nipples in its stylized mouth. He picked up an old phone handset attached to the car and talked to the driver briefly. I got the impression they knew each other, or maybe Axel Hawke was just that friendly with everyone.
"We're not far from Sakura's if you want to get cleaned up there?"
I blinked.
He sat up and put a hand on my arm. "You all right?"
I cleared my throat. "Fine. Just had my mind blown, is all." My shaken heart and mind would all settle back down in a few minutes, right?
The thought struck me then that I was going to be answering tabloid questions about Axel Hawke for months. Which might have been fine if a publicity stunt had been the extent of it.
But it hadn't been. I could feel the upset pecking away at the bubble of satisfaction that the sex had left me with. What was upsetting me so much?
Was it that I'd just let a rock star fuck me like a groupie in the back of a limo? And it wasn't just that. I'd debased myself in front of him, begged, obeyed, acted … submissive. The public didn't know about it, but I knew. My body hadn't felt this good, well, ever. I should have been chilly and sore and rug-burned but I felt like I'd had the first truly nourishing meal of my life and the fact that it had come from a near-total stranger in questionable circumstances left me feeling conflicted. Confused.