Taking the Fall(22)
Crawling from my bed, I grab a pair of black leggings, a cream off-the-shoulder sweater and a pair of pink peep-toes before I head into the bathroom. I drop the sheet and take a look at the marks Carter left all over my body. My mind flashes to the day I woke up in the hospital with a different set of marks. I’d wondered if I’d been raped that night, and no one would tell me. I had wondered that maybe my mind had blanked that part out, but last night I felt Carter slip past that barrier. Maybe that’s part of why I’ve been holding myself back. Carter said I was waiting for him, but maybe I was scared that the first time I’d have sex, I’d find out a shocking truth. Luckily, that didn’t happen.
Pulling my hair up, I turn on the shower and jump in. When I wash between my legs, I can still feel him there. I love and hate the feeling. I jump back out and quickly brush my teeth, re-pile my hair on top of my head and get dressed. Giving myself one last look in the mirror, I determine that this is the best it’s getting today. My eyes are still swollen but I can’t bring myself to care right now. I slip from the bathroom and grab the picture off my bed. I walk over to the trash can and toss it in.
“You sure you wanna throw that out?” Jeanette asks.
I nod my head and grab my purse and keys. I’m ready to start my new life. I won’t ever forget Carter or the gift of freedom he has given me but it’s time to move on with my life. It’s time to be free.
Two months later
I hear the doorbell ring, and yell, “Be right there!”
I know it’s Justin but he’s ten minutes early and I still need to get dressed, having only done my hair and make-up. I look down and trace my finger over the tattoo I got two months ago. The days and weeks seemed to drag on since then, and a small part of me kept thinking Carter would show up. He didn’t. The tattoo of his name on my ribcage is a reminder that he would always own a part of me, even if at times I hated him.
Slipping a yellow sundress over my head, I grab a pair of woven wedges that will look perfect for the barbeque. I locate my bag and my phone and open the front door.
“You look great, Layla,” Justin beams, leaning in and giving me a kiss on my cheek.
“Thanks, same to you. You look more casual than usual,” I say. It’s true, because he normally wears suits. Today Justin has on khakis and a polo. With his blond hair and blue eyes he looks like a strapping, corn-fed good old boy.
“I thought I’d try something different for a change. You ready?”
“Yep,” I answer, and make my way down the sidewalk to his white Volvo. He opens the door for me, and I slide into the passenger seat.
Things with Justin have been good. We’re not dating anymore, and he asked to remain friends. I thought people always said that but never ended up doing it, but Justin really wanted to try. We seem to talk more now than we did when we were together. I don’t have many friends, besides Jeanette, so I’m trying to engage more with people. Plus it helps that he’ll always lend a hand when something goes wrong at my house. It’s nice to have a man you can rely on.
I was excited when Jeanette asked me to come over and barbecue at her place. The pool had just opened up in her complex, and I wanted to get a little sun. I’ve been spending my free time enjoying having a piano again, and haven’t really been making an effort to be sociable. I was happy when she invited me over, but shocked when she told me to bring Justin. I guess Saint who, shockingly, is still around, told her to play nice. Saint seems good for Jeanette, but she doesn’t really talk much about him. I don’t think she wants to show how in love she is when I’m still pretty broken up about Carter. I tell myself I’m moving on, but some days there’s no hiding from the lie. I’m interested to see how Jeanette and Justin behave today.
When we get there, we spend most of the day outside by the pool, just eating and hanging out. When the sun starts to set and the mosquitos come out, we decide to go inside to play a few card games. Everyone has been getting along great and no one is ready to call it a night. Even Saint seems to be good with Justin, even though they’re clearly from two different worlds.
Not even two games in and I feel it come over me. I race to the toilet just in time to throw up everything I’ve eaten. This has been happening to me on and off for the past week. After I’ve finished I go to the sink and rinse my mouth out. I look up and see Jeanette in the mirror, watching me.
“How long?” she asks and I know where this is going. I’ve been trying to pretend it couldn’t be true.
“Few weeks,” I admit, making her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline.