“True enough. But I do know him. After I cooled off, I was able to think about this more clearly. About how he’s been acting, and why. The Holt I know doesn’t get worked up over chicks.” He dragged a hand down his face. “The guy I saw at the party, fighting with you and asking you to listen, isn’t a guy who doesn’t care.”
She twisted her purse in her hands. “You’re wrong. He—”
“No, I’m not. I know Holt.” He cocked his head. “But I have to wonder… Do you?”
She swallowed hard, her eyes feeling dry and sandy and broken. Just like her heart. “I…yes, of course I do. I know things you don’t know, too.”
“His headaches? He told me and Cooper about them yesterday. He said he’d been worried about admitting the truth about his ‘shortcomings.’” Steven air-quoted that word with a wince. “But he didn’t need to worry about that. Cooper would never have fired him for that. It’s not how he rolls.”
She stilled. “He told everyone?” she asked, her voice coming out way too soft.
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “He said he hadn’t wanted to come clean, but that a girl who he cared about made him see it wasn’t such an embarrassment after all. And from now on, if he feels another episode coming on, all he has to do is let Cooper know that he’ll need time off. I’m guessing that the girl he talked about? Yeah, that was you.”
“O-Oh.”
“So tell me…” Steven crossed his arms and leaned on the doorframe. “Does that sound like a guy who doesn’t care?”
I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. She swallowed hard, doubting herself for the first time since driving away, and averted her face from him. “One second you’re punching him for touching your little sister, and the next you’re championing him?”
“What can I say? I had time to cool down, and I realized if you’re going to be with some guy, it might as well be one like Holt. He’ll treat you right…because he knows if he doesn’t, he’ll answer to me.” Steven rubbed his jaw. “Want me to talk to him for you, too?”
“No. God no.” She opened her door and walked in, blocking him from entering. “Look, I love you. You know I do. But I need to be alone right now. I need to think.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Thanks.”
After closing the door in his face, she leaned against it and let out a long breath. Sinking to the floor, she dropped her head on her knees. Maybe she shouldn’t have run away like that. What if, by some crazy long shot of fate, he’d been about to tell her he wanted more, too? She should have given him the chance to talk.
Maybe, just maybe, she would have liked whatever he’d been about to say. But she’d left. Hadn’t listened. What the heck was she supposed to do now? Go back and say, “Well, you know, maybe I’ll listen to you after all. Sorry for that dramatic exit.”
Someone knocked on the door, and she had no doubt who it was. Steven, of course. He never could leave her alone when she was upset, which was admirable most of the time. But not today. Growling under her breath, she stood up and cracked the door open. “Steven. I told you to—”
The words died in her throat. Because Holt stared back at her through his thick-rimmed black glasses and slid his foot in the crack of the door. “Don’t close the door in my face. Just give me a second to explain. Please.”
“I-I won’t.”
He nodded once, but didn’t seem to relax at all. “I’m sorry, Lyd. I’m so fucking sorry I said the things I did. I didn’t mean them. I swear it. I was an idiot.”
She gripped the door, not opening it, but not closing it either. She’d been wishing that she had given him a chance to explain, and now he was here. Like magic. Now, it was time to listen. “Which things, exactly?”
“I didn’t lose the feeling. I don’t think I ever will. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have lied to get rid of you, but I thought I was being noble or some shit like that.” He rested a hand on the wall outside her door, staring at her with those deep blue eyes of his that killed her. “I swear on my honor to never try to be noble again.”
She choked on a laugh. “Um…okay.”
“And I swear to never lie to you again. I won’t try to protect you from me, and I won’t hide the fact that we’re together from anyone or anything ever again. Hell, if you take me back, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Tattoo it on my forehead. Whatever the fuck you want.”