It was as if everything he felt, and wanted to say, was in that kiss. And it hurt, emotionally, to feel it all. Because he’d let her think he didn’t care, when he did. Because he’d taken the beautiful thing they’d had, and ruined it. Because…because…
Because he was too late.
Chapter Seventeen
Holt kissed Lydia, every moment of pain he’d felt since telling her he didn’t give a shit about her fading away to nothing. Now that she was in his arms again, the world felt as if it was back on its axis. She hadn’t gone to Delaware, but it hadn’t been because of him. She hadn’t gone because she hadn’t wanted to move away from her family.
So that meant they could be together, thank fucking God.
Because he’d realized, over the past few days, that he missed her. That she meant more to him than he’d ever realized. That he could love her, if given the chance.
He really fucking could.
Her hands curled in his shirt, and she made a small sound that went straight to his heart. When he’d walked away from her, he’d thought he’d been doing the right thing. The last few days had been pure hell without her, and now she was here, and she wasn’t leaving…and he’d do anything to get her back. Any-fucking-thing.
Because he missed her more than he missed feeling normal.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss off. Resting his forehead on hers, he took a shaky breath. It was time to tell her all of that, and hope to hell that she forgave him. Please forgive me. “Lyd, I’m so fucking sorry.”
Lydia pressed her fingers to her mouth. “Why did you do that? Why didn’t you ask me—?”
“What the fuck, man?” Steven came up behind them, grabbing Holt by the shoulder and shoving him backward. “What the hell are you doing?”
She rushed forward, standing in front of Steven. “Stop it! He—”
“Why did you kiss her?” Steven demanded, ignoring Lydia as if she didn’t even exist. “You think I wouldn’t notice? I mean, she’s the only one here with wavy red fucking hair.”
“Strawberry blonde,” Holt said without really meaning to. “It’s strawberry blonde, not red.”
“Whatever. It doesn’t—” Steven staggered back a step. “Wait a minute. That’s how you described that girl you went out on a date with a week or two ago. Tell me you aren’t fucking around with my little sister behind my back. Tell me.”
Holt flinched, remembering all the things he’d said before he realized that the woman he’d been intrigued by was Steven’s little sister. “I didn’t know who she was, at first. I swear it. By the time I found out, it was too late.”
“Steven…” Lydia said, wringing her hands. “This really isn’t any of your business. I can take care of myself. And I can answer for myself, too.”
Holt held his hands up, but not because he was scared or anything. It was just a measure of respect. But now that he knew Lydia wasn’t leaving, it was time to come clean. “I know you can, but he needs to understand what’s up.”
“What’s the point?” she asked, crossing her arms. “It’s over.”
The hell it was.
“What’s over?” Steven asked, not turning away from Holt as he dragged a hand through his hair. He didn’t even blink. “What’s going on?”
“I was the guy that was fucking with her life.”
Lydia growled. “No one was—”
“I’m going to kill you. Slowly and painfully. Twice.” Steven stepped closer, his fists clenched at his sides. “How long has this been going on?”
Holt leveled a look on him. “You know the answer to that question already. I told you about her the day after I met her.”
“Son of a bitch,” Steven growled, swinging at Holt.
Holt ducked, barely missing a nose shot. “It’s not what you think, though,” he said quickly. “I—”
“It’s exactly what I think,” Steven said, lunging for Holt again. “And I’m going to fucking kill you.”
“Dude, I lo—argh.” Holt leapt back again, getting caught up on a branch that had been hidden in the leaves. He hit the ground hard, slamming his head on another branch. Stars swam in his vision, and his glasses flew off his face. He knew he was going to get hit, because he didn’t have the time to get to his feet before Steven pounced again.
And, he kind of deserved it.
The fact that his best friend was defenseless didn’t stop Steven. He leapt for Holt, obviously intent on shedding some blood. “You son of a—”