She sighed. “Do you have to—?”
“Look, I’m sor—” he started at the same time, cutting himself off when he realized they spoke at the same time. “Sorry, go ahead.”
She shook her head. “You go first. I insist.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for last night. I felt the headache coming, but I’d been hoping I could take a pill and be okay before you noticed.” He paused. “I was obviously wrong.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care. There’s nothing to apologize for. You had a headache. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“But there is. It’s not just the headaches, Lyd.” He took a deep breath and held it in. “When I’m having an episode—that’s what they’re called—for the days leading up to it, I can’t function. My brain doesn’t work properly. If my boss found out I still have those migraines, and that I can’t do my job…”
She lifted up on her elbow and bit her tongue. He was opening up to her, and that was great. But she was scared if she pushed too much or too hard, it might scare him away. “So you only have the problems leading up to the migraines?”
“Mostly. When my words start getting mixed up, I know one’s coming. I’ve gotten good at hiding it, and at dealing with the pain, but last night was particularly bad.” He dragged a hand through his hair, staring up at the ceiling with a wrinkled brow. “It’s basically like a slow build. It starts with having problems figuring out simple things. Then the words get all jumbled up in my head, and then a few days later…it escalates till I’m incapacitated. After that, it slowly gets better until the next time.”
“What happened to cause it? Or has it always been like this?”
He dropped his hand above his head. The other was wrapped around her waist. The sun hit his face, making his five o’clock shadow look even darker than before. “It happened the same place I got those scars. Same time, too.”
And that was obviously all he wanted to say on that matter. He was very much like Steven in that regard. He never wanted to talk about the things he’d seen and done over there, either. She couldn’t blame them. “I’m sorry.”
He glanced down at her. “Did Steven ever mention anything?”
“Kind of.” She licked her lips. “He mentioned you’d been injured over there and were struggling to fit back in to society, but I didn’t ask for all the details. I figured if you wanted to tell me, that was fine, but if not, that was fine, too. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”
He smiled and cupped her cheek. “You know, for the first time ever, I want it to stay that way. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her heart stuttered and sped up, all at once. Which, medically speaking, wasn’t possible. “Don’t say that too loudly. I might think you actually mean it.”
The smile slipped off his face, and his bright blue eyes were bluer than she’d ever seen them before. “What makes you think I don’t?”
Not knowing what to say to that, and quite frankly a little bit speechless, she leaned down and kissed him gently. By the time she pulled back, his grip on her was no longer gentle. It was possessive and demanding.
“It’s almost nine,” she whispered against his lips.
He groaned. “I know. I have to go before Steven realizes I took way too long to get to work, and figures out why.”
“Ugh.” She rolled off of him and stared up at the ceiling. “All right. Go, before I change my mind and chain you to my bed.”
He leaned on his elbow and smiled down at her. This man, naked, in her bed, smiling at her, was freaking dangerous as heck. “You can chain me to your bed anytime you want, Lyd. How’s tonight sound to you?”
“It sounds…” Her heart sped up, because he traced a path around her bare nipple. “Y-You’re coming over?”
“Hell yeah.” He kissed her gently, and hopped off the bed. She watched him walk over to his discarded clothes. His body was hard and toned. She could literally count the muscles that made up the perfect image that was Holt. “That is, unless you don’t want me to. I guess I should ask?”
She laughed. “Oh, I want you to.”
“Good. Because I would have come anyway, and changed your mind with a few orgasms.” He dressed quickly, and went into her bathroom. By the time he came back out, he looked as put together as he had before she’d stripped him. He wore grey khakis, a plaid shirt, and Converse sneakers. After he slipped his glasses on, he stared down at her with so much heat she should have combusted right there on her cotton sheets. “Stop looking at me like that, or I’ll forget I have to go to work today, and spend all afternoon making you come.”