That’s when it hits me. My moment of relief is swept away by sadness and jealousy. All I can smell on him is cheap women's perfume. I lose it. Angrily, I push myself off his lap. God! To think I curled myself around him like a loyal puppy. Here I am clinging to him, and he’s spent his night with another woman? What happened to all that “I’m yours, and you're mine bullshit”? I swear I can feel my tattoo of his name burning my skin.
“You stink, Carter. You smell like another woman. I understand that you don’t want to be with me, but, Jesus, have some compassion.”
“It’s not what you think, Cherry,” Carter says softly. He starts to rise and I hold my hand out, not wanting him to get up. He looms over me, filling my entire field of vision. He’s easily over a foot taller than me, and right now I need to be on the same level as him.
“I don’t believe you. See, you have this problem of lying to me and running away. You’re just that kind of man it seems,” I throw the words at him as my anger gets the best of me.
“Never lied to you,” he clips.
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to fight about this and I’m done crying. I’m letting you go,” I say forcefully. Maybe if I’m forceful enough with my words, even I’ll believe them.
“You’re letting me go?” he says in a tone that implies I’ve lost it. Maybe I have. God, why does he have to be so beautiful?
I tear my eyes away from him and shift my gaze to my feet. “I can’t justify this to myself anymore. I fight with myself trying to rationalize your actions. I go over and over everything that happened between us in my head. I’m driving myself crazy. Every time I give myself over to you, it’s just a waste of my love. Leave me alone, Carter.” I put my hand over my belly and his eyes go there. “Leave us alone. Please.”
I wish I could sound more commanding, more convincing but I can’t. I feel my shoulders drop in defeat and I close my eyes tightly
The silence is deafening.
CARTER
Did she just say “us”? She didn’t just say “us”. Did she?
I look up at Layla as she stands over me and I see her shoulders start to shake. I watch in horror as tear start to run down her cheeks.
“No, no, no, no, no,” I chant, standing and picking her up again. “Don’t cry, baby, please don’t cry.”
I’m making my way to her room with her in my arms when the doorbell rings. “Who the fuck is that?” I ask.
“Crap. That’s the Chinese I ordered,” Layla says hoarsely.
“I’ll take care of it,” I tell her and put her down. I walk to the door, open it up and see the young guy holding the food. I grab some bills out of my pocket and shove them in his hand, mumbling a “thanks” as I grab the food and slam the door in his face. I flip the lock, set the alarm, and then throw the food in the fridge. I stalk over to my girl as she watches me warily and pick her back up.
“I can walk you know,” she sniffles.
I ignore her protest and carry her across the room and down the small hallway to her bedroom. I can’t handle her tears and seeing her upset breaks my heart.
I take her into her room and set her down gently on the edge of the bed. I straighten and gaze at her small body. I feel my protective instincts overwhelm me.
“Cherry, baby, look at me,” I demand. I know she needs me take control. It’s how we work, and now is no different. She looks up at me with big watery eyes and it’s all I can do not to break down with her. These past months apart from her have torn me to pieces inside. Seeing her push me away is enough to end me. I reach down pull my shirt off. I need to get this fucking stink off of me, and get my girl’s scent where it should be – on me.#p#分页标题#e#
She looks at my bare chest and then back at my eyes. “Cherry, I will explain everything to you. I swear. But right now, you need to explain what you meant by ‘us’.”
She breaks eye contact and looks out the window. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know, Carter. I’m sure Saint went and tattled to you the day he found out. It’s fine. Whatever. The baby and I didn’t need you three months ago and we sure as hell don’t need you now.”
Her words send me over the edge and I fall to my knees in front of her. “Baby?” I whisper.
She looks at me, confusion written all over her face.
“You didn’t know?” she asks, tentatively. Hope creeps across her beautiful face. She reaches her hand out to touch me but then stops herself and lets it drop to her side. Seeing her stop herself from touching me hurts more than if she had smacked me.