Taking It All(21)

Kylie looked appalled, which made Chessy laugh. Kylie couldn't   comprehend the lifestyle that both Chessy and Joss lived, but she   accepted it with good nature, even if she couldn't envision herself in   such a relationship. She shook her head and shot an accusing look in   Joss's direction.

"You did that on purpose to get a reaction out of me," Kylie said in a sour voice.

Chessy laughed and Joss looked delighted.

"You're shining today," Joss commented. "It's like looking at the old   Chessy. I'm so glad to have you back, hon. I've hated seeing you so   unhappy. I'm so glad you and Tate have made amends, or rather he's   making amends. Good for you for confronting him and laying it out to   him. I'm not sure I'd have the courage to do something like that."

Kylie snorted. "So says the woman who told Dash off when he pulled his stupidity."

Chessy laughed again and then all three women burst into laughter. God   it felt good to feel so light again. The weight of the past two years   had become oppressive. Just finally being able to confront Tate with her   unhappiness had been so freeing.

"Okay, so he didn't break out the flogger," Joss said, a twinkle in her eyes. "So what did he do? I want all the gory details."

Kylie rolled her eyes and then made a show of plugging both ears. "I'm too innocent to hear this."

Chessy snorted. "Oh please. Like you and Jensen don't perform your own   X-rated sex shows? Ever hear of the saying ‘doth protest too much'? Well   that's you. It's always the quiet ones you have to watch."

Kylie blushed and Joss hooted with laughter. "You nailed her, Chessy.   Look at that face. That's the look of a cat who's definitely gotten the   cream."

Chessy choked on her drink and nearly spurted water from her nose. "Oh my God, you said cream. I'm dying over here."

Kylie groaned. "Dear Lord. You both have to stop. Is everything a sexual innuendo with you two?"

"Yes!" both Chessy and Joss said in unison.

They immediately hushed when the waiter arrived to take their order. As   soon as he left, they burst into laughter again. Tears streamed down   Joss's face and she hastily wiped her eyes with the table napkin.

"You two are incorrigible," Kylie grumbled. "Let's leave my sex life out of this."

"This is a novelty," Chessy teased. "You having a sex life, I mean. A   few months ago you would have been appalled by the notion. It's high   time you got in on the action."

Kylie lowered her head and beat her forehead against the table. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Hmmm, I'd say Jensen is very rewarding," Joss said, a dreamy look on her face.

Kylie's smile was rueful. "I can't argue with you there. But can we   please move on to a different topic? Chessy still hasn't filled us in   with all the juicy details."                       
       
           



       

Chessy grinned. "Let's just say that Tate and I are well on our way back   to the way things used to be. At first he held back his dominance. I   think he was too focused on making sure I wasn't going anywhere. After   the horridness of our anniversary night, he kicked it into high gear. He   made love to me like whoa. No dominance. Just tenderness that was so   sweet it made my heart ache. But at the same time I wanted his   dominance. I didn't want our relationship to change. I just wanted us   back, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Joss said softly.

"I get it," Kylie admitted. "Jensen is dominant in all aspects except   our sex life. There  …  he gives up complete control to me. But one day  …    One day I'd like to be able to give him control there too. We're both   going to therapy. I'm hoping it will help me trust him more. That sounds   so awful. I do trust him. In my heart I know he'd never hurt me. But   it's hard. And more than me knowing he'd never hurt me, he has to   believe that too."

Chessy reached for Kylie's hand and squeezed. "I understand completely,   sweetie. And you'll get there. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.   Jensen is so perfect for you. So patient and understanding. The fact   that he's willing to give up control in the bedroom is amazing. It   proves just how much he loves you to deny that part of himself."

Kylie's eyes became watery. "But I don't want him to have to deny any   part of himself. And that's what bothers me. I want him to have control   but I'm not there yet."

"You'll get there," Joss repeated. "Give it time. You've only been together a short time."

"So Tate didn't  …  dominate you?" Kylie asked. The words came out   strangled, as if she didn't know what label to put on Chessy's   relationship with Tate.

Chessy's smile was gentle. She let go of Kylie's hand as the waiter   delivered their entrees. Only when he was gone did she address Kylie's   question.

"At first no. I think he didn't think it was appropriate. In fact, he   very much humbled himself. For a moment it was as if he was the   submissive and I was the Dominant, which is laughable since I'm the   furthest from a Dominant you can get. I think he felt awkward about just   falling into our old routine. It was an apology, I think. He was so   reverent and careful. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I   wanted-needed-his dominance. And so after our dinner do-over, that's   when he retook control."

"I'm glad for you," Joss said sincerely. "I've hated seeing you so   unhappy, Chessy. I'm sure now that you've let Tate know how you feel   that you'll see a change in the way he treats you."

Chessy winced. "That sounds so bad when you say it like that. Like he was abusing me or something."

"Neglect is akin to abuse," Kylie said softly. "You should know that better than anyone."

Chessy's heart clenched at the subtle reminder of her childhood. Not   abused, but unwanted. She wasn't sure which was worse. Both were   unforgiveable for a parent to subject a child to. She'd spent her entire   childhood ignored, dismissed, unloved and a nuisance to parents who'd   never wanted a child.

Tate was well aware of the circumstances of her childhood. He'd been the   first person she'd ever confided in. As soon as she'd turned eighteen,   she'd left her home and worked her way through college. Her parents   hadn't even bothered to show up for her high school graduation much less   her graduation from college.

Her phone chimed, signaling a text message. Grateful for the   interruption so the conversation didn't dissolve into a dissection of   her childhood, she dug into her purse and clicked on the text. It was   from Tate.

Have an important client meeting at 4:30. I'll be home no later than 6. I promise. I'll bring supper. Love my girl.

Chessy's heart sank, dread tightening her chest. When she looked up, her   friends had worry in their eyes. Chessy forced a bright smile. After   all, how long had it been since he just texted her with his plans much   less to say he loved her and that he'd bring home dinner. She'd revel in   that aspect and set aside her paranoia. The last thing she wanted to  do  was ruin a perfectly good day when things had gone so well the past  two  days.

"Oh, that was just Tate telling me he was bringing supper home."

She left out the rest because she didn't want to see knowing looks in their eyes.





THIRTEEN


AT five minutes after six, Chessy was pacing the living room checking   her watch. A worried frown tugged at her lips. Surely he wouldn't be   late the very first day back at work after their come-to-Jesus   anniversary weekend.                       
       
           



       

She sucked in a deep breath and tried to talk herself down. He had a   client meeting at four thirty. Then there was rush-hour traffic. Not to   mention he was picking up takeout. There were plenty of perfectly  normal  reasons he could be a few minutes late.

She checked her watch again. He was only seven minutes late. Not the end   of the world. Damn her for being so paranoid. She could be flexible.  He  didn't have to be at her beck and call every waking moment, nor did  he  have to be accountable to her for doing his job.

But it worried her. What if this weekend had been him hitting the panic   button and saying and doing whatever it took to appease her? What if he   had no intention of changing his routine?