“Fine. How was yours?”
“Great. The company I’m going to work for in Tokyo emailed me to say they’re going to find an apartment for me and will send me the details so I can choose. Which is really great.” Her awkwardness intensified, making her angry. Crap, she’d never been like this with Hunter before.
And isn’t that your fault?
Ellie swallowed. Yeah, it was, no escaping that fact. She was the one who’d changed things between them, so she couldn’t feel all pissed about it now.
“Glad to hear it.”
Her grip tightened on her bottle. “Will you miss me?” The words came out sounding almost cross, his black gaze flickering over her in surprise. “When I go to Japan, I mean.”
“We’ll all miss you, sweetness.”
Ellie bit her lip. “That wasn’t what I asked. Will you miss me?”
“Of course I will.” A pause. “You think I wouldn’t?”
“Actually, it kind of feels like I’m gone already.” There. She’d said it.
One dark brow rose. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, it feels like you’re avoiding me, Hunter.”
“I’m not avoiding you.”
She stared at him. Was he telling the truth? She couldn’t tell. An uncomfortable feeling shifted inside her. She’d spent years studying him, watching him. Fascinated by him. And yet she had the weird feeling that for all that study, she hardly knew him at all. That the laidback Hunter she was familiar with was a mask, and another man lived behind that mask.
A man who had, for one brief, incandescent moment, revealed himself to her that night in his truck. When she’d touched him.
“I think you are.” She took a gulp of her beer. “I’ve been here for two days and the only times I’ve seen you have been in the mornings at breakfast and in the evenings at dinner.”
He shrugged, a lazy movement of his powerful shoulders. “I have a busy job. I work long hours.”
“Yeah, but…” She stopped, closing her mouth against the words that were only going to sound pathetic and needy.
“But what?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. It’s not nothing.”
“Okay, I just…I thought that since I’ll be away for probably a couple of years, that you might want to spend a little bit of time with me.” Yeah, shit. That did sound pathetic and needy. Like the child she’d once been, always hanging around Vin. Wanting attention. Wanting to be seen. God, she was ridiculous. That’s what her whole life had been about, hadn’t it? Wanting someone to notice her? And now here she was again, doing the same thing. Only this time with Hunter.
She took another gulp of the beer, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. A part of her wanted to get up and walk away, leave those pathetic, needy words behind her. But another part was desperate to stay here and see what his response was.
Ellie looked over at him and her heart slowed and nearly stopped in her chest.
He was watching her fingers play with the hem of her skirt. And the look in his eyes burned.
Fuck. He’d been doing so well. He’d got over the initial shock of seeing Ellie’s long, elegant white legs stretched out in front of her, bare and not covered up as they usually were in coloured nylon. Had even managed not to be aware of all the pale skin beneath that very see-through mesh top. Or of the red bra that cupped her small, round breasts.
In fact, he’d been doing well the whole time she’d been here. Making sure she remained nothing but Vin’s little sister. Excising the whole sorry episode in his truck from his brain.
Yeah, so he’d spent more time at work than was strictly necessary. Had extended his runs from an hour to an hour and a half. Had found himself down in his workshop, fiddling around with the vintage Norton motorbike he was in the process of restoring. But that wasn’t to do with her. Not in any way.
Her staying with him had been what any friend would offer.
A test.
No, not a test. Because he had nothing to test himself against.
Yet still he could not seem to drag his eyes away from the movement of her fingers on the hem of her skirt. Christ, he’d never realised how short her little minis were until she’d taken her tights off. Her fingers were painted in metallic polish, a copper colour that reflected her hair. A colour that seemed so bright next to the smooth, pale skin of her thighs. All she’d have to do is shift slightly, flip her skirt a little more and he’d be able to see what colour underwear she had on…
His cock began to harden. And then he realised she was staring at him. That she’d seen him staring. Her smoky gray eyes had gone wide, a stain of pink along her cheekbones.
Jesus, this was all so wrong. What was he doing getting hard for her? Again? What was wrong with him?
He put his half-drunk beer back down on the little table and pushed himself to his feet quicker than was strictly necessary. “I need a shower.”
“But…but we haven’t finished our conversation.” A deep line appeared between her fine red brows.
“Yeah, we have.” He turned and went to the front door.
“Hunter.”
“Later, Ellie.”
In the en suite shower in his bedroom, Hunter leaned his forehead against the tiles. He’d spent a lot of money on those tiles. They were blue glass. Italian. He’d laid them himself.
The water streamed over him and he concentrated on the lines of the tiles, noting that he hadn’t done the best job he could have since a couple were slightly off and the grouting wasn’t as neat as it should be.
Anything so he didn’t have to think of Ellie’s white thighs. Of her bright copper fingers playing with the hem of her tiny skirt. Tantalising, the way her fingertips brushed against her skin…
“Touch yourself, Hunter. I want to watch.”
The water in the shower felt abruptly cold. Then hot. Way too hot.
Where the fuck had that memory come from? And, more importantly, why? He hadn’t thought about that for years and years.
A weird feeling began to creep over his skin. A dirty feeling, familiar, tasting of shame and humiliation. And lust. Intense, inescapable, uncontrollable lust.
Ah, Jesus, he didn’t want this. Didn’t want to feel this way, not again. He was over it. Over the confusion and the anguish and the shame. And over the desire that always came with it.
The breath went out of him. He closed his eyes. Sometimes when the old feelings returned, he’d go out, find himself a woman. Make her do whatever he wanted to regain some control. Usually that made the confusing mass of feelings go away.
Perhaps that’s what he should do now. Go into town and find himself someone. He probably had a couple of names still on his phone he could call. Who didn’t mind being told what to do and when to do it. Who didn’t mind being watched. Who didn’t mind not touching him.
Alternatively he could take himself in hand and deal with the problem right now.
He curled his fingers around his cock, tightened his grip. But the thought of jerking off with Liz’s voice still in his head, with Ellie’s white skin burned into his vision, only made him feel even dirtier.
Cursing, he let go and turned the water off with a vicious movement instead. Then he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and drying himself roughly. As if he could scrape away the feeling that seemed to coat his skin, though it didn’t seem to work.
Going into the bedroom, he pulled on an old pair of jeans and a clean tee.
Yeah, perhaps he would go into town. Get away from the shitty, conflicting feelings. Put some distance between them and himself. Get some fucking relief.
Dressed and feeling better now he had a plan, he went down the stairs.
Only to find Ellie standing at the bottom of them.
She looked incongruous in his wide, polished wooden-floored hallway. He’d always preferred a minimalist, clean style to his building and his own personal space. White walls. Wooden floors. Clean and spare. A place to rest and not think.
But Ellie wasn’t minimalist in any sense of the word. She stood in his hallway with her copper-red hair, her tartan mini and her black mesh top, deep red bra underneath. Bright and messy and confronting. The kohl that lined her eyes and her black lipstick gave her a hard edge, and yet that edge was undermined by her bare legs. By her bare feet.
And by the way she was biting her lip as she watched him come down the stairs. “You walked away, Hunter,” she said as he came to the bottom of the stairs.
“We’d finished our conversation.”
“No, you told me we’d finished our conversation. I still had stuff to say.”
So she was going to do this again, was she? Impatience coiled in his gut. He wanted out. Wanted to get away. Didn’t want to stand in the hallway with her blocking his exit. Not while he felt like this. “Can it wait? I’m on my way out.”
She blinked. “Where are you going?”
“Out. Like I said.” He wasn’t going to stand here justifying himself to her. He went to the side to go around her, but she stepped in front of him, again blocking his exit.
Hunter stopped. “What the hell, Ellie?”
Her lashes were covered in mascara, black rimming her eyes. She looked tough but he knew she wasn’t. She’d been a little, lonely kid, wanting attention. Wanting to talk to him. Holding his hand and dragging him along to her bedroom where she’d shown him the microscope Vin had given her for her ninth birthday. Or nagging him to play Monopoly yet again after beating the pants off him for the second time in a row. Or resting against him, silent and still, as Vin had forced their screaming mother into the car for yet another trip to the hospital.