“Yeah, you.” Her lashes flickered, red at the roots where the mascara didn’t reach. “I know Dark Shadow is a chick, but she’s kind of who I imagined myself being if I had your strength. If I was you. A female you, if that makes any sense.”
A strange feeling twisted in his chest. A feeling he couldn’t identify and one that made him intensely uncomfortable. Like the whole of this damn conversation. “I didn’t know that,” he said, not sure what else to say.
“I know you didn’t. That’s why I told you.” Her eyes met his. “In fact, there’s a lot about me you don’t know.” She offered the words like a challenge. A dare.
Did he know her? He thought he did. An odd sense of dislocation slipped through him, as if the room had subtly changed around him and he wasn’t where he thought he was. It was unsettling. “Where are you going with this, Ellie?” he asked, not bothering to keep the impatience out of his tone.
“Nowhere.” She hooked her thumbs into her belt, the chains jangling. “Just saying there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”
You didn’t know she’d beg. You didn’t know she’d tremble. You didn’t know how hot she’d feel. How wet. How hard you’d be for her.
Almost unconsciously he slid one hand into the pocket of his jeans, reaching for the drawing pin. Jabbing the end of it into his finger. He didn’t flinch. Perhaps it wasn’t a drawing pin he needed. Perhaps he needed more ink. To add more feathers to the wings on his back.
“Of course,” he said flatly. “We’re different people.”
She stared at him, unblinking. “Don’t you want to know more? About me, I mean?”
No, he kind of didn’t want to know more. She was Vin’s kid sister and that’s what he wanted her to remain. Knowing more would change things. Make him see her differently.
Hasn’t that already happened?
Hunter looked away from her, back down to the bike standing between them. “I don’t need to, Ellie. I know pretty much everything about you already.”
“Bullshit you do. Did you know I used to nick your cigarettes back when you smoked? That I once won an online gaming tournament at Kara’s café? That I learned karate so I knew the moves for my games? That I went to get my lip pierced when I was seventeen then chickened out?”
No, he didn’t know any of those things. And he didn’t want to either. “We all have stuff that other people don’t know. But that doesn’t mean we have to tell all and sundry about it.”
He’d known that would hurt her. And it did, he could sense it. But fuck, how else could he end this stupid conversation?
She remained silent for a long moment. Then she said softly, “Did you know that I used to wait up whenever you and Vin went out? And then sneak out of my room to watch you when you came back, eavesdrop on your conversations? It was one of those nights I first saw your tattoo. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.”
Where the hell was she going with this? Beautiful. Christ. That’s what people, mainly women, always told him about the wings he’d had inked on his back. But he hadn’t gotten them because he’d wanted beauty. He’d got them so he could be clean. Pure. So the pain would wash away the dirtiness—
Ah, but all that shit was over, wasn’t it? Over years ago.
Yeah, so over you’re using a drawing pin in your hand instead. Fuckwit.
Hunter turned abruptly and went over to his workbench. There were bike parts scattered all over it. Hell, he really needed to clean this place up.
“And did you know,” Ellie went on in the same tone, “that I spent years thinking about what it would feel like to have you touch me? God, I constructed so many fantasies about what would happen. How it would happen. When it would happen. And what you would do and say afterwards.” A brief pause. “The one thing I didn’t imagine was that you’d leave me in pieces and walk away.”
The silence in the workshop was absolute. Because he could think of nothing—nothing whatsoever—to say.
Eventually, he turned round. She was standing with her thumbs still hooked in her belt, her chin slightly tilted, eyes meeting his, such determined honesty in them he couldn’t look away.
In pieces, she’d said. He’d left her in pieces.
“What else did you want from me?” he asked, rougher than he should have.
Her posture stiffened, her jaw tightening. And in her eyes, a flash of pain and anger. “Respect, Hunter. I could have done with a little more respect.”
It felt like she’d slid something sharp beneath his skin. A barb that stuck there, digging in.
This wasn’t a child kicking him in the shins or throwing a tantrum. Not this time. This was a woman. Whom he’d hurt.
Something shifted inside his chest, disorienting him. A feeling that the ground beneath his feet had moved, a crack running through the earth, and he had no idea where to stand.
“Ellie,” he began, not knowing what he wanted to say, only that he had to say something.
But she was already turning away, walking toward the door. “Spare me, Chase.”
“Ellie,” he repeated, yet she didn’t stop, she only walked out of the workshop.
And he knew that somehow, whether he wanted it or not, during the course of the conversation Ellie Fox had taken herself out of the box he’d been keeping her in.
And that this time he didn’t think he could put her back into it.
Ellie went up the stairs, across the veranda and into the house, swearing under her breath. Well, so much for that conversation. Once again she’d been the one to turn herself inside out in an effort to get something from him. And once again, like a mirror, he’d just reflected it back.
What else did you want from me?
Jesus Christ but she hated the way he made it seem like it was her fault. That he’d done nothing but give her what she wanted and that the problem had been with her expectations. It didn’t help either that deep down she knew he was right. She did expect more because of who they were to each other.
And what’s that?
Ellie stormed down the wide, white hallway and went into the study Hunter kept scrupulously neat. Then she threw herself down onto the chrome office chair in front of his very minimalist style desk and stared at the computer screen.
Bugger it. He was the fantasy man she’d constructed and she was still the child he’d looked after. That’s what they were to each other. And she’d reached for the fantasy and got…someone else. Now she was trying to find out who that person was and what had he done? Dismissed her yet again. So what was the freaking point? She didn’t know. She didn’t even know why she was still here.
Her throat went tight as she looked blankly at the screen and the email to her new boss that she’d been working on before she’d left to see Kara that morning.
Perhaps she was crazy to keep thinking she could get what she wanted from him. Perhaps she should pack up her stuff and leave. Not that there was anywhere else for her to go, of course.
She shifted in the chair and tried to get back to her email, desperate for any kind of distraction. But ten minutes later, she still hadn’t typed another word.
Then a movement at the door made her look up. Hunter stood there, leaning one shoulder against the doorframe, hands in the pockets of the faded black jeans he wore.
“What?” she demanded. “Thought of something else patronising to say?”
He didn’t respond to that, merely looked at her, his gaze unreadable. “What do you want, Ellie?”
“I told you what I wanted and you told me no. So actually, I should be the one asking you what you want considering what happened yesterday. Oh and by the way, if you say ‘nothing happened’, I swear to God I’ll kill you.”
Again he gave her silence. Waiting motionless, watching her. And it struck her then that she’d never really noticed how quiet and still he so often was. As if observing everything, measuring everything. He seemed so calm on the surface, like a pool of black water. Yet underneath there were currents. Powerful currents.
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said at last. “I shouldn’t have touched you.”
That did not make her feel any better. “Are you? That’s a shame. Because I’m not.” She swallowed, looked away. “So why did you then? Did you feel sorry for me or something? Because yeah, desperation is so attractive.”
He didn’t answer her directly. “Do you want me to touch you again? Is that what you want?”
Her throat tightened. “You know what I want, Hunter. I told you. Jesus Christ, I begged for it, didn’t I? But what’s the point? When you don’t want me.”
He shifted against the doorframe. “I didn’t say that.”
It took Ellie a second to understand what he’d said. “What do you mean?”
Slowly, he pushed himself away from the doorframe and came into the room. Something had changed in his face, his expression becoming intent, and Ellie’s heart suddenly climbed into her throat.
Because he came straight over to her, prowling like a lion, stopping right in front of her. And then he bent, putting one hand on each arm of the chair she sat in, caging her into it.
His eyes were so dark, fathomless. “What do you think I mean?” he said softly.