“Almost.”
“That’s all you can expect from me.” His smile deepened. “I’m hoping you’ll learn to appreciate the fact that I could be so much worse … or better. Depending on how you look at it.”
She looked away from him. “I’m not looking at anything that doesn’t concern Toby right now.”
“And quite right. Sorry. One thing seems to lead to another.” He chuckled. “And selfish bastard that I am, it usually ends up back with me. How peculiar.” He shrugged. “I can wait.”
“For me to jump into bed with you?” She looked him directly in the eye. “It’s not going to happen, Caleb.”
He smiled. “It will, you know. I’m working with a handicap, but I can deal with it.”
“What handicap?”
“Well, actually there are several. The most important is who I am and who you are. You have a problem with trust, and no one can say that I’m the steadiest man in the universe.”
She made a rude sound. “You’re as volatile as a runaway comet.”
“Comets usually have a general direction. They can occasionally be deterred, but only by a major force. I have my course set.”
“Prepare to be deterred.” His smile never changed, and she continued impatiently, “Why me, Caleb? You said yourself that we’re not a good match.”
“We could be a fantastic match, just not in the ordinary sense. Why you?” He tilted his head, gazing at her appraisingly. “Besides the fact that you’re beautiful and intelligent and make me hot just looking at you?”
“I’m not that unusual. I’m sure there are other women who have that same effect on you.”
“Lust is definitely a part of my makeup but there are degrees.” He added softly, “And you shoot up and break all the gauges, Jane.”
Heat. Breathlessness. Electricity.
She pulled her gaze away. “You’ll get over it.”
“I’m not sure. Because there’s something else. I don’t know quite what it is, but it holds me. Sometimes I get a glimpse, but then it’s gone. I can’t let you go until I find out what I’m losing.”
“I don’t want to get involved with you, Caleb.”
“I know. Because you think I’m not safe.” His eyes were suddenly glittering with recklessness. “You’re right, I’m not safe. You’d have to watch me all the time. But I’d make it entertaining for you.”
“I’m not that starved for entertainment.”
“I could make you think you were starved. That would make the satisfaction all the more delicious.” He was studying her face. “But I’m going to have to move very slowly. As I said, I’ve never seen anyone more wary of making a commitment. Even one of a purely sexual nature. You couldn’t even make one with Trevor, could you?”
She stiffened. “Trevor? Why are we suddenly talking about Trevor?”
He smiled crookedly. “Because I think a lot about Mark Trevor. I did a little checking when I found myself becoming … drawn to you. I wanted to know with just what I had to contend. The only man who has been important to you was Mark Trevor. He was your lover for a number of years. I was very glad to find out that you’d cast him out of your life.”
“I didn’t cast him out. We just agreed that we weren’t right for each other.”
“I’d bet that you were the one who made the decision. Did he get too close?”
“Stop trying to pry into my business, Caleb. I don’t want to talk about Trevor.”
“Right.” He held up his hands. “Neither do I. I just wanted to see your reaction.”
“And?”
“Guarded but not overly emotional. It’s a response I can handle,” he said. “Now I’m going to skip out of the line of fire and concentrate on your dog and your situation here since that’s all you want from me at present. I’ve probably disturbed you. Why don’t you forget me for a while and go back inside to your Toby. I think I’ll stay out here a bit and commune with nature.”
“Good. But I’m not going to run along because you tell me to do it.” He did disturb her. She couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t. That disquiet was always present, burning low, and she had become almost accustomed to it. Yet she had to admit that she was relieved that he had taken a step back. “I’m not going anywhere until I get you back on track and tell me why you were sure enough that you were right to have someone burgle my apartment. I can almost hear that brain of yours clicking away. You gave me a scenario, now fill it in. Why would anyone go to all that trouble to make sure that I would come here to Summer Island?”