Babysitting a Billionaire 3 : Taking Control(51)

As the tension built, he touched her lightly between the thighs and she came again, feeling his cock swell, then pulse with his own release.

She lay, half beside him, half beneath him. Some inner sense was warning her that she needed to move, but this felt so perfect, so right and instead, she pushed back against him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you." The declaration whispered across her skin, sank into her mind, and she had to blink back the tears.

At least he couldn't see the effect his words had on her. Because if he did, she doubted she would ever make him go, and suddenly she needed him gone.

Because she could feel herself cracking and breaking all over again.

She wiped all expression from her face, pulled herself free, and sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. "It's time for you to go."

Shock flared in his face, followed by a flash of anger. "Are you telling me you feel nothing?"

She bit her lip. "Didn't you listen to a word I said earlier? It doesn't matter what I feel. I won't allow this to go any further. I can't." Maybe it was time for those tears after all. She blinked, allowed one to roll down over her cheek and he almost recoiled in horror. 

"Jess?"

She sniffed.

"I did this to you? Talk to me."

She swallowed. Maybe it was time to tell him the rest. "Did you ever wonder why I was coming to see you that night? The night I had the accident."

"I presumed you were just coming to try and patch things up."

"I was pregnant."

His face went blank. "What?"

"Only a few weeks, but I'd taken at least three tests." And God, she'd been so happy, thrilled, excited at the thought of Declan's baby. She'd known he would do the right thing, wouldn't abandon them, and by that point she would have done anything to get him back. She didn't want to be that person again.

"What happened?"

"I lost it." And only then had she realized how much she had desperately wanted the baby and not just as a means of keeping Declan.

"In the accident?"

"Maybe. But the doctor said it might have happened anyway. It does sometimes, and it was so early, just a handful of cells."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know about the miscarriage when you visited. I was still in shock from the accident. Then you said it was over … again. And I realized I wanted you to stay because you wanted me and not because it was the right thing to do. But after I got out of hospital, I was hurting and I needed you so badly. I would have even accepted the friendship thing at that point. I was so pathetic."

"And I was gone."

"You were. I saw Rory and he basically told me to take the hint and leave you alone. Anyway, I had no way of contacting you so I decided to take his advice. But it hurt. So excuse me if I don't want to lay myself open to that again."

"It wouldn't-"

But she'd had enough. "Please go, Declan. Please. I can't take any more."

He looked at her for an age longer, then gave a brisk nod of his head. "I'll go, as long as you promise you'll come tomorrow night."

Tomorrow night was his father's birthday, and there was to be a big party at the club. The last night before Declan was due to give evidence at the trial. And then this would all be over.

"I'll be there."

He rolled to his feet, raked a hand through his hair-it was growing longer-he hadn't had it cut since they'd met again, and now it tousled over his forehead. Naked, he was spectacular, and she didn't try to look away. Would she ever see him like this again? The thought that this might be the last time was like a black cloud engulfing her mind. But that only made her more determined to get out before she went beyond the point of turning back.

He picked up his clothes, and dragged them on, sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes, and then his gaze fixed on something on her wall.

She followed the look and her breath caught in her throat. Declan rose slowly to his feet and took a step closer, then reached out and unhooked the frame from the wall, examined it closely.

"My father gave you this?"

"That day I went to see him. It doesn't matter anymore."

He gave her a look as if to say she was crazy. "You've had this for over ten years, you put it on your goddamned bedroom wall, and you say it doesn't matter."

She had no clue how to answer. Unfortunately Declan wasn't quite so reticent.

He shook his head. "I can't believe he gave you this." He waved the check in her face.

"He was doing what he thought was right for you."




 

 

He gritted his teeth. "How the fucking hell dare you defend him?" He pulled the frame apart, took out the check, and tucked it into his back pocket. "Just make sure you're there tomorrow night. Or I'll come looking."