But she didn’t think running away was ever a good solution to a problem. “I wish you’d stay, Matt. We need to have a conversation.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not ready for that yet. I don’t know what to say.”
She stood and opened her door. “Have a nice time.”
He didn’t call after her, but she wouldn’t have turned back if he did. If he didn’t want to talk, she wasn’t going to waste her time. She was going to take a shower, throw her sheets in the washer, and then get ready for work.
Saturdays weren’t often very busy, but she knew today would be unusually so as people came in hoping for details about the accident. She would simply smile and assure them their game warden was unhurt and his partner would recover. Nobody, not even Fran, would guess her heart was breaking.
TWENTY-ONE
MATT WASN’T SURPRISED to hear the crunch of tires coming up the narrow dirt road to the cabin. It was his dad, by the sound of the engine. Again, not a surprise. His mom had been shaken up by Pete’s accident and had called him several times, so they knew he’d been at camp almost two days now.
He stayed in his chair and waited, though Bear couldn’t stand the anticipation and ran off to meet their company. A few minutes later, a chair thumped down next to his and his old man sank into it with a groan. He popped the top on two beers, setting one in his cup holder and handing the other to Matt.
“Catching anything?”
Matt lifted a shoulder. “I’m not sure I even put a worm on the hook, to be honest.”
“Did that once, when your mom and I were going through a rough patch. Couldn’t even stand the sight of each other. I came up here and probably sat here for five or six hours without ever baiting the hook.”
“I’m only at two hours today. Got a ways to go yet. Caught a few yesterday, though, so I must have used bait.”
“I heard your friend’s going to be okay. That’s good.”
“Yeah, I called a little while ago and spoke to his wife. He’s doing great, actually, considering. And I didn’t get too much grief about taking a couple of sick days.” Bear finally settled between the chairs and Matt reached down to scratch the top of his head. “Long drive just to check on me. Did Mom put you up to it?”
“Let’s just say she thinks it was her idea, but I was coming anyway. So, son, is this about the accident, or is there a woman?”
He could lie, but his dad had driven two hours to offer a shoulder. The least Matt could do was lean on it. “Little bit about the accident. A lot about the woman.”
“Hailey?”
“I think I started falling for her when I found her breaking into my house through the doggy door to make sure Bear was okay.” It felt good to say that out loud. Scary, but good.
“But, being you, you made sure she didn’t know it, right?”
“We’re different, Dad. Like really different. And right now we can joke about it a little, but over time I don’t think we’ll joke about it any more.”
“You and Hailey have been dancing around this for quite a while now. What happened? What drove you up here this weekend?”
Matt took a long sip of beer and then told his dad how Hailey had rushed to the hospital after making sure Bear was taken care of. And how she’d waited for him, brought him home and took him to bed. “She was just...there. She didn’t care that I didn’t take my boots off at the door or that I smelled like dry stress sweat and who knows what else. She made me hot cocoa and then let me hold her until I went to sleep. I don’t know what to do with that.”
“I’ll tell it to you straight. Walking out and coming up here was the wrong thing to do with it.” His dad shook his head. “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman who makes a four-hour round trip to a hospital and hangs out in the waiting room to bring a guy home and into her bed just because she’s a nice girl. She has feelings for you, which means right now she’s probably the most pissed off woman in a hundred mile radius.”
“I have a knack for ticking her off, for sure.”
“This one’s a doozie, son. But I guess that just sets up the make-up sex to be all the sweeter.”
Matt almost choked on his beer, and it went down hard when he managed to swallow. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Hey, good sex has a way of soothing a woman’s ruffled feathers.”
“If I have sex with Hailey again, it has to mean she’s willing to go all in.” Matt took a deep breath and blew it out in a rush. “I can’t do casual anymore. If she doesn’t want me, I’ll have to walk away.”
“Why wouldn’t she want you?”
The words stuck in his throat, giving Matt time to figure out a way to spit them out that didn’t make him feel stupid. “She likes finer things. She has nice sheets and likes to dress up and go out. She wants a guy who...you know, like a magazine ad guy.”
“You know I love you, right?”
“You’re about to tell me I’m an idiot, aren’t you?”
His dad nodded. “If you walk away from a woman you love because she has nice sheets, then goddamn right you’re an idiot.”
“I didn’t say anything about love.” Matt’s stomach churned and he set the beer can in the cupholder.
“You know I love you, right?”
“You’re a real comedian today. And of course it’s not about the sheets. Just like I know she’s not writing me off because I had a scruffy beard when we met. All of those are the little things that add up to the fact we’re really different.”
“Of course you are. So are your mother and I. You think she doesn’t like to dress up and go out sometimes? I go, because she puts up with me smelling like fish guts and disappearing for hunting season. You’re not looking at the big picture.”
The big picture scared the crap out of him, that’s why. “I just want to make her happy, and I’m not sure if I can.”
“She’s not going to be happy with you every minute of the day, son. You’ll argue. I’ve been married forty years and there’s a lot of arguing. She yells at you when you track mud through the house. You yell at her when she buys a black pocketbook that doesn’t look any different from the three black pocketbooks she already owns. Sometimes you can’t stand the sound of her voice and other times you wonder how you’d even breathe if she wasn’t there. That’s marriage, and she’ll feel the same way. But when you’ve got a good woman who loves you, your back’s never truly against the wall because she’s there. She’s got your back.”
Hailey would have his back. He knew that, deep in his gut. Even though he’d been an asshole, she’d taken care of his dog and rushed to get to him. No questions, no recriminations. He’d needed somebody and she’d been there. It was that simple.
His dad sighed, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond the pond. “That’s what’s important, son. When you’re knocked down and on your knees, you want a woman who’ll help you up. And, if you’re not ready to get up yet, she’ll wrap her arms around you and not let anything or anybody kick you while you’re down.”
He’d had a glimpse of what that felt like the other night. The fear and general shittiness of the day hadn’t been able to withstand the comfort of Hailey’s arms around him. “What if she doesn’t want me, Dad?”
“Then she’s the idiot.” The certainty in his dad’s voice made Matt smile. “Worst case, you nurse a broken heart and start looking for a different place to live so you don’t have to see her every day.”
“I can’t imagine not seeing her every day.”
“And there you go.” His dad stood up and squeezed Matt’s shoulder. “I’m going to take a leak and see if you left any cans of beef stew in the cupboard. If you’re smart, you’ll get in your truck and haul ass back to Whitford before she gets too worked up.”
TWO DAYS. TWO days Matt Barnett had been gone and Hailey wanted to strangle him. Or hug him. Maybe she’d just hug him really, really tightly and fulfill both urges at the same time.
While he’d gone off to hide, she’d worked. She’d smiled and told everybody who’d asked that he was just fine. She’d told Tori and Paige and anybody else who was worried about her that she was fine, despite the fact she’d cried more tears than she’d thought a body could hold.
When she heard his truck pulling into the driveway, she was torn between wanting to march over and demand to know what his problem was, and wanting to hide in her room and pretend she wasn’t home.
Assuming he’d care, of course. Nothing said he had any intention of darkening her doorstep.
But she couldn’t stop herself from looking out the window. He was wearing that damn red flannel shirt, unbuttoned over a T-shirt, and a hat that had seen better days, though it wasn’t the really gross hat he’d been wearing the day they met.
She wasn’t on her game, though, and when he turned to look her way, she didn’t close the curtain in time. They made eye contact and he held it until she turned away from the window.