“It was a jackass thing to do. But you scared me. I like to flirt with beautiful girls, but I don’t handle it well when one simple kiss makes my fucking head spin. You make me want things and feel a certain way. I’m not ready for that.”
I was expecting a lame I’m sorry; not that. “Oh,” was the only thing I could come up with. What did it mean, exactly, that our kiss made his head spin? Was that a good thing? It sounded like it . . . maybe.
Grant ran a hand through his long, unruly hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “I shouldn’t have left you without an explanation. It was unfair and I was only thinking of myself. I’m good at that. I just . . . what can I do to get you to forgive me?”
He still wasn’t asking for forgiveness. He was asking how to get forgiveness. Had anyone ever asked me how to get forgiveness before? How . . . unique.
Warning bells were going off in my head loudly, but somehow I ignored that. Because my heart wanted to forgive him. I didn’t want to push him away. No one ever took this much time to get to know me. Being lonely was something I had grown used to. Having someone here who wanted to get to know me bad enough to admit he was wrong, someone who cared to ask me how he could fix it, meant more than he realized.
“Don’t do it again,” I replied.
Grant’s eyes went wide and then a slow smile slid across his handsome face. “I won’t.”
I stepped back as he started tugging his shirt over his head. He threw it aside and slipped off his shoes, and then his eyes lifted to meet mine. “I’m not leaving this time. When you get tired of me, you’ll have to force me out.”
I couldn’t keep the silly smile off my face.
Two months and two weeks ago . . .
When the door to my room clicked behind us, I knew this was it. For a week, we had been kissing and touching. It was hard for us to keep our hands off each other. Grant made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. He showed me what a real orgasm was. He had also taught me that screaming out in pleasure was okay. He liked it when I was loud. It always made him more frantic. His breathing would accelerate and his eyes would almost glow from excitement.
But tonight, I wanted more. I wasn’t going to stop things when they got too far. I wasn’t going to make him keep my shirt on. I was going to let us do what we both wanted. I was twenty years old. It was time I became a real woman and had sex. I was holding on to my virginity like some grand prize, and I wanted to experience a total connection with another human being. I wanted to know what it felt like to have Grant inside me. To get as close to each other as possible. I wanted this experience.
Grant’s arms wrapped around me from behind as his mouth touched my neck and began taking small nibbles. That always made my knees a little weak. “You taste too damn good,” he whispered in my ear, making me tremble. “I want your shirt off. I’ve been thinking about pulling one of your nipples into my mouth all week.”
His hands found my hem and pulled my shirt up over my head, then he unsnapped my bra. He pulled it from my body and froze. I knew he would see it. I was prepared for that. His hand reached out and ran along the line across my chest that was so faint now, it wasn’t even very noticeable.
“What is this?” he asked.
“I was a preemie. I was born ten weeks too early. I had some surgeries before I was in the clear.” I didn’t want to explain anymore. He didn’t need to know the truth. That was enough. He lowered his mouth to my chest and instead of kissing my breasts he kissed the scar. I closed my eyes because it made me feel guilty for not being completely honest. Then both his large, tanned hands covered my breasts and I sighed from the pleasure of it.
“Does that feel good, pretty girl?”
I managed a nod as he began to kiss my neck and squeeze my nipples gently.
“That’s it, baby, arch that back for me.”
I hadn’t even realized I was doing it but I was. I couldn’t get close enough to his touch. The way he made me feel was intoxicating. I craved it. Grant had opened up this world to me with so much pleasure and excitement that I hadn’t realized existed.
“Lie down on your back. I want to kiss these needy little nipples.”
I didn’t argue. I wanted it, too. I climbed on the bed and lay back just in time to see Grant pull his shirt over his head. See the tattoo on his shoulder that came down over his right pec. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was sexy. It looked like some sort of tribal print. Then some Chinese symbols were on his chest just above his pecs. I planned on asking him about them, but not now.
He reached for his jeans and unbuttoned them. I was fascinated with his lower abdomen. All those tight ripples in his stomach, the way his hipbones stuck out, and the small patch of hair that started low, just under the band of his underwear. I wanted to see exactly what it looked like under there, but until tonight I hadn’t gotten a chance. Grant always got my panties off but he said he needed to keep his pants on if he was going to keep his head straight. I didn’t push. But I wanted to see.