Take a Chance(25)

“I decided I never wanted to be that vulnerable. I never wanted to love someone that much. I never wanted to face losing the one person that owns me. So, I got drunk. Because I also realized I could easily fall in love with you. In just two short weeks I had begun to care for you. I had feelings I hadn’t experienced before. Not like that, at least. It scared me. I knew you would be the one to own me if I let you. I ran from it. I drank too much whiskey and when Nan showed up I messed up. I should have stayed away from her. But in my head she was the one I thought I was in love with once. I hadn’t been. I realized that after only two weeks with you. I was in lust with Nan. I liked being needed by someone, and Nan needed me. That was all it ever was for us.”

Harlow finally dropped her gaze to her lap as she twisted her hands nervously.

“I never meant to hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do. What you gave me I didn’t deserve, but believe me when I tell you I’ll cherish it forever. It meant more to me than you know. But I shouldn’t have taken your innocence that night. I should have been a man and realized I didn’t deserve it and walked away. But you made me weak. It’s one of the things about you that scares me. No one has ever made me weak.”

Finally, Harlow turned her head to look at me. Her hazel eyes no longer looked hard. Instead, I saw understanding there. She simply nodded. “Okay. You’re forgiven.” Then she opened the door and climbed out without another word.

I sat there and tried to let all the emotions that were churning inside me calm down. I didn’t want her to take it so easily and walk away. But I couldn’t give her more. That was it for us. I had explained it and she forgave me. So, we were over now? The ache that came with that reality hurt. I reached up and rubbed my chest and laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes.

“What did I just do?” I muttered.

A loud knock on my window caused me to jump as I opened my eyes and sat up to see Mase standing there.

I rolled down my window as he pushed his sunglasses up and onto the top of his head.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I needed to explain some things to her. I had hurt her and I needed to make sure she knew the truth.”

“What was the truth?” Mase asked, his eyes narrowing as he studied me.

“That I wasn’t ready for any kind of commitment and she was the kind of girl you committed yourself to.”

Mase snarled. “Hell yeah, she is, and she’s too good for you. Harlow won’t ever settle for Nan’s seconds. And dude, you’re Nan’s seconds.” He moved his sunglasses back into place and sauntered off to that black truck of his that needed a damn car wash.

As pissed off as I was, he was right. I wasn’t good enough for Harlow. I knew that, dammit. I didn’t need reminding.





Harlow


Tennis had been just what I needed to get my aggression out. I hadn’t wanted to talk; I had just wanted to hit that stupid little ball for an hour. And I had hit every one of them that Adam had sent my way. When Adam dropped his racquet and threw the ball into the air, caught it, and tucked it into his pocket I knew our hour was up.

“You were killing it today. I was expecting you to bust a ball before it was over,” Adam teased as I walked over to my water and towel. I wiped my face then took a long drink of water.

“Was that all about the love of the game, or were you picturing someone’s head on that ball?”

I forced a smile. “Just one of those days. I feel better now,” I told him.

“Good. Because I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight? Maybe a movie, too?”

I paused. Wait . . . was he asking me out on a date? I turned to look at him and the hopeful look in his eyes told me that was exactly what he was doing. Adam wanted to take me out.

My immediate reaction was no. I wasn’t ready to do this, but I stopped myself before I could say something. That Grant had hurt me didn’t mean everyone would. Besides, Grant had saved himself some trouble. He didn’t know it, but he had. Adam wasn’t in that danger. I wasn’t going to want him the way I did Grant. Besides, was it fair that I protect myself from everyone? Did I want to be alone my whole life? No. I didn’t. I didn’t want to be living with my dad until I died. I deserved to know what living was like. I wanted to know I was loved. How would I ever find that if I didn’t look for it or allow it to come to me?

“I’d like that,” I said without thinking about it further.

The grin on Adam’s face was immediate, and I had to smile myself. I was going on a date. A real one. Dad would be proud of me.