I will myself to get out of the car. To take one foot in front of the other, until I’ve reached Jessie’s apartment block. I’m already soaked from the relentless downpour. The rain is coming down as fast as I shed my tears, so much so, I can’t tell which is which.
A gentleman coming out of the door holds it open for me. He visibly winces when he sees me. I must look like a wretched mess. He gives me a sympathetic smile and looks like he’s in two minds whether to say something to me. I smile back and thank him, seeing the kindness in his grey eyes. Even when I’m surrounded by ugliness, there can still be that one person who can make a difference. That’s exactly why I am here.
I take the lift to the fourth floor and knock on Jessie’s door, willing her to be home by now. She is the one person I can trust. The one person I can rely on after Jake has betrayed me so brutally. My heart and my head are pumping as I don’t know how much more agony I can take. I have never felt this way before. It is a pain I would never wish on anyone.
Jessie finally answers the door and takes one look at me, the shock visible on her face.
“Oh my God, Ana. What in the hell has happened to you?”
The tears are endlessly falling as I tighten my fists to keep from falling apart.
“Can I stay with you please?”
I don’t know how I manage to speak, but the words come out without my willing.
Jessie’s face is full of outrage, horror and worry, but she soon softens as she makes way for me to come inside.
“Of course, Ana. Anything.”
I find my feet and walk through the door, before shutting it behind me. The finality of it ending the chapter of my life with the only man I have ever truly loved. My heart is broken into little pieces, and it now lies in the hallway of Jake’s house, shattering my life, my being. He was the one who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The one who taught me to live, love, and find true happiness. My laughter, my song, my reason to take a breath.
My beautiful caveman, Jake.
Introducing Jake Bennett.
Bored as fuck is about the only way to describe how I feel. I don’t know why I have let myself get into this situation, but I’m here nonetheless. I like Stella, she is a nice lady in all, but there’s no spark there for me. When our hands touched on the same cereal brand in the local grocery store about a month ago, I didn’t really pay much attention. I smiled at her and like the gentleman I’d like to think I am, offered her the item before choosing my own. She acted a little shy and giggled, but I went on my way. The only problem is it happened again. I started to wonder if fate was trying to tell me something. Here we were, hands on the same strawberry jelly, and I thought that maybe I should give her a chance. She made all the right noises as she giggled and played with her soft wavy golden brown hair. Her light eyes sparkled in the brightly lit store as she looked deep into my own. I rarely give any women the time of day. I have my son to look after and none of the women I meet, do anything for me.
I have been on dates, but none of them have passed the second time around. They make it plainly obvious what they want from me and although I have urges just like any other man—and fulfil them on occasion—it is not the sort of shit I want at my age anymore. I’m not getting any younger and do need to settle down at some point. Matthew is fifteen and not long from now he will leave for college and have his own life to lead. I’ll be left then to fend for myself.
“My daughter likes this brand,” she said, tilting her head ever so slightly as she purred the words to me.
I noticed then that she had a British accent and that was sexy as hell. “Well your daughter has good taste,” I reply.
She laughed, easing the tension, as she began to tell me bits about herself. I thought I would just be polite and go on my way, but something held me back. I surprised myself by asking her out.
Almost a month down the line, I was well on the way to breaking things up with her. I knew she wasn’t the right one for me. The only reason why I am here now is because she told me all about her daughter just passing her Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice. I must admit, it piqued my interest. We could actually do with a new Analyst. I would never tell Stella this as she may naturally assume that I would give her daughter the job. I would have to meet her first and decide for myself.
I sat at the table in La Bistro restaurant in Reston. It was a lovely autumn day and people were all making the most of the lasting sunshine by sitting outside. The tables were full and laughter erupted as everyone was enjoying the atmosphere. I had ordered a beer and Stella a wine as we sat, waiting for her daughter to turn up.