Take a Breath(6)

I give her a kiss on the cheek and say my goodbyes. I give Tony a hug and thank him. He seems to hold me a little longer than necessary and have to prise him away.

“See you tomorrow, sweet cheeks.”

I turn and find Jake waiting for me at the door. “Ok, see you tomorrow.”

We head out and the fresh air hits me. I slightly wobble a bit on my feet, causing me to stumble a little. Jake quickly reaches down to grab hold of me and that surge of electricity is felt again. I stare up into his eyes and he looks like he’s in pain. I quickly gather myself up. He doesn’t want to touch me.

“How are we getting home, Jake?”

He looks perplexed, “I only drank that one beer, Ana. I’m fine to take you home in the car.”

I acknowledge this, but didn’t realise. I was too busy dancing my ass off with Jessie.

Jake makes sure I’m in before walking around to the driver’s side. He starts the car up and looks down a minute.

“It seems it was deemed necessary that you had protection tonight, just protection from a different person. You seem to attract trouble.”

I’m stunned at this sudden outburst from him. I can’t help but feel the pain in my gut at the memory of my stepfather.

The accountant my mum married was not content with just my mum. He started looking at me the wrong way when I was twelve and it developed rather rapidly. At first it was just touching. He kept saying I was a slut and that no one would believe me if I told anyone as he was the Pillar of Society, and I was just a little bitch who was asking for it. He scared me and I was only young and believed him. He told me that my mum would never forgive me if I said anything. She would want to throw me out onto the streets, and I would be homeless and alone.

One night he came into my room. I had just turned thirteen then. He sat down on my bed and pulled the covers away. He said I was now the right age to please him more and that I owed it to him to do as I was told. I became frantic screaming and crying, but this just spurred him on further. He threw himself on top of me and I could smell whiskey on his breath. I could feel his erection pushing into my leg and I felt sick. I knew what was about to happen and I couldn’t stop it. He ripped my pyjamas apart and tried to yank down my knickers. I kept screaming, “No, no, please don’t do this to me. Please!” He hit me on the head after that, and then I passed out.

The next thing I remember is being taken to the hospital and my mum sitting in the chair crying. My head was pounding and I was wondering what had happened.

“Mum, what’s going on?” I asked.

She looked up at me, tears streaming down her face.

“One of the neighbours heard your screams and luckily the back door was unlocked so he was able to get inside. He managed to yank him off you before… before—”

A little sob escaped her lips before she continued. “There was a fight and Alan managed to get away. I doubt very much he will come back now.”

He never did, but the police searched for him and we moved as soon as we could—onto Mum’s next venture. My mum has always been funny with ever me since that incident and I always felt in the way of everything. I’m so glad I’m older now. It means I can get away from her whenever I want to.

Alan has never been found. He seemed to have disappeared into thin air, and so be it. He was a monster. I think my mum found the whole thing embarrassing and just wanted it to all go away as quickly as possible. At times I still think about what happened that night. I can’t stand the smell of whiskey anywhere near me because of it.

My mind quickly comes back to the car and I see Jake glaring at me. Does he know? If he does, that was such a cruel comment, even from him.

“I don’t understand, Jake. Why are you so mad? And what do you mean by, I need protecting?”

He shakes his head, “Nothing. Men just seem to fly around you. You’re like honey to a bee and you make people crazy.”

I’m stunned by this, unable to fathom what he means. I look at him in shock.

“Are you angry with me? What is it you would like me to do, move out?”

He visibly winces at my comment and tightens the steering wheel.

“No, of course not. Forget I said anything.”

He turns and puts the car in drive and we head off back home. The rest of the journey is made in silence.

I’m feeling sober all of a sudden, not knowing how to think or react. He parks the Range Rover in the garage and we unlock the door. The house is silent and all the lights are off.

“Stella, Matthew?” Jake shouts around the house.

I hear a door open upstairs and Matthew pops his head over the stairwell. “Hey, Dad. Hey, Ana. Did you have a good time?”