He nodded.
“Good,” I said, lowering my hand from his mouth. “What's your name?”
“Eduardo,” he answered.
“Is that what your friends call you?”
He shook his head. “Eddie,” he stammered.
“Well, seeing as how I've already seen your knob, I feel close enough to you that I'll go ahead and call you Eddie,” I said. “Now zip that thing up and put both hands on the tree in front of you so I can see them.”
Eddie zipped his fly and placed his palms on the tree.
“Okay, Eddie, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions,” I continued quietly. “You give me some quick and honest answers and you'll live. Stall or fuck with me in any way and I'll put a skylight in your head before your friends back there can do a thing to stop me.”
Eddie nodded again.
“Is Giovanni inside that bunker, Eddie?”
“Yes,” Eddie said.
“Is there a woman in there with him who's being held prisoner?”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie stuttered.
“How many Bonaccorsos are inside with them?”
“About thirty,” Eddie said.
“Okay. See? You've done a great job so far.” I knew I had to make it fast or the other guards would wonder where Eddie was and come looking for him. “Just one more question for you, Eddie, and you'd better have an answer. Where's the entrance to the bunker?”
“Northeast side,” Eddie answered quickly. “Heavy steel door. Bolted from the inside. They'll only let our guys in, though.”
Don't worry, asshole, I thought. I might have a way around that.
“Thanks, Eddie. You've been very helpful. You have sweet dreams, now.”
“What?” Eddie asked. I raised the butt of my gun and brought it down on the back of Eddie's head, knocking him out. I immediately started shrugging off my clothes and undressing Eddie so I could put his clothes on. They were extremely loose on me, and I had to use my own t-shirt as padding. Finally, I tugged his ski mask over my head and grabbed his rifle.
This is easily the most risky thing I've ever done, I thought. It'll be a miracle if it works, but I can't even let myself imagine what will happen to Lauren if it doesn't. So here we go.
I walked to the wall around the compound, letting the two other guards spot me and wave at me.
“Yo, that was some kinda piss you took!” one called out, laughing.
“Yeah, it, uh, sorta turned into something else,” I answered, trying to mimic Eddie's voice.
Jesus, I sound like a moron. This is the world's dumbest plan. I can't believe I thought I could pull this off.
“Oh, it did, huh?” the other guard cackled. “What the fuck did you wipe with? Leaves?”
“Heh! 'Fraid so,” I replied. I was walking toward the northeast side of the wall and trying to look casual.
“Now where the fuck do you think you're going?” the first guard demanded. “We got a goddamn job to do out here, Eddie!”
I clutched my belly, trying not to make the gesture too dramatic. “Ain't feelin' too good,” I said. “Think my stomach's fucked up. Gonna go inside and find a replacement.”
“Yeah, sure, go lie down an' get some rest, there, sweetheart!” the second guard jeered. “Pop a fuckin' Midol, maybe!” Both of them laughed.
I gave them my best get-outta-here wave and kept walking until I found the metal door Eddie had told me about. I texted a pair of dashes to Bard to let him know I was okay and received two dashes back from him a couple seconds later.
Okay. So far, so good.
I knocked on the door and waited. A moment later, a voice answered. “Yeah, who is it?”
“It's Eddie,” I said, trying to keep my voice hoarse. “Let me in.”
There was a brief pause. “Eddie?” the voice answered incredulously. “That's you? You sound like shit.”
“Yeah, I don't feel so good,” I groaned. “I gotta come in.”
“The fuck do you mean?” the voice barked. “What about guardin' the wall like you're bein' paid to do, huh?”
“Look,” I said, trying to sound impatient. “My stomach's fucked up, I gotta take a wicked shit, an' I don't wanna squat down an' do it out here in the grass like some kind of goddamn woodchuck! Now would you please fuckin' let me in before I ruin my pants? They weren't cheap!”
There was a long silence from the other side of the door and I was sure my luck had run out. But then I heard the heavy bolt being slid away from the door and it swung open. Tommy Bone-Saw stood inside in a narrow hallway, wearing his surgical mask.
Great. Now I need to deal with this creep.
“Thank you,” I said, pushing past him. He didn't resist.
“No problem, Eddie,” Tommy answered. “Have fun on the throne. Oh, an' hey, next time you see yer sister Liliana, tell her thanks for the ziti she sent over, all right?”
“Yeah, sure, I'll tell her,” I said, nodding and continuing down the hall. I made it about four steps before I felt Tommy's arm wrap around my throat and saw his scalpel gleaming next to my eye.
“Eddie don't got no sisters,” Tommy whispered in my ear. “That was a real nice try, though, Nic. You've got bigger balls than I thought.” He lowered his blade toward my crotch. “Here, let's see what they look like once they've been sliced outta yer sack and shoved in yer eye sockets.”
I whipped my head backward, smashing Tommy in the nose. At the same time, I wedged my arm between his hand and my body, pushing the blade away. I could feel it slice into my forearm, but I didn't care.
I spun around just as he opened his mouth to scream for help and clamped my hands over it, slamming his skull against the concrete wall over and over. Even through his mask and my gloves, I could feel his teeth dig into the palm of my hand. A blood stain appeared on the wall behind his head, growing larger each time I smashed it into the stone. He raised the scalpel and I felt it bite into my bicep once before his body went limp.
I let go of Tommy and he sagged to the floor. The back of his head was caved in and I could see shards of bone stabbing into his mangled brains.
For a moment I considered finding a way to stash the body and clean the blood stain to buy myself more time, but I knew I couldn't risk it. Every moment that passed made it more likely I'd be caught by another Bonaccorso while fucking around with Tommy's corpse, and I had to find Lauren fast.
Which meant I had to trust that Bard would find a way to either successfully storm the compound or draw the gangsters out.
I texted the dashes to Bard again and got them back almost immediately. Then I pocketed my phone and started down the hallway toward the door leading to the inner rooms of the bunker.
Come on, Bard. You've never let me down before. Don't make tonight the first time.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Bard
I kept peering at the compound through the binoculars and trying to find a weakness to exploit. Nic had sent two signals so far to tell me he was alive and hadn't been captured, but I knew that could change any second. I could feel the Reapers behind me shifting restlessly. I shared their nervous energy, but as always, I couldn't let myself show it for fear of spooking them.
Come on, Bard. Every problem has a solution. This one is no exception. So take five guards positioned roughly forty feet apart from each other, add a seemingly-impenetrable bunker, and solve for X.
Suddenly, I spotted something on the ground between the outer wall and the bunker. At first glance, it looked like it might have been a flower. But there was something about its angle that made it seem stiff and unnatural.
I focused on it and saw that it was a tiny orange flag on a metal rod.
I turned and pointed at Boomer, gesturing for him to come over. He crawled up next to me and I handed him the binoculars, pointing out the flag. “Is that what I think it is?”
Boomer squinted for a moment and nodded. “If you think it's one of them flags the gas company uses to mark active lines so assholes don't dig into 'em, then yeah, it sure is.”
“If we could get down there, do you think you could tamper with it so gas would leak inside of the bunker?” I asked.
“You mean without those guards blasting us to confetti before we make it halfway down this hill?”
I smiled. “Yes, within that hypothetical. Could you do it?”
Boomer pursed his lips, thinking it over. “It'd be a bitch. I couldn't do anything to the line where it's flagged. That'd just make it leak outside. I'd have to follow it to where it connects with the wall and try to breach it there so it would funnel into the bunker. But if you're asking if it's impossible, then no, technically it ain't.”
“I'll take an improbable plan over nothing any day,” I said. This was the most important mission of my life and if the only way to make it work was a Hail Mary play, so be it.
“But you still haven't said what you're gonna do about the guards,” Boomer insisted. “If we try to rush 'em, the guys inside will hear the gunshots. Ditto if you use the Pig.”
“I know,” I replied. “When you were in Iraq, did you ever do any sharpshooting, Captain?”
I could see how surprised he was to be addressed by his former rank again. He smiled, nodding slowly. “Once or twice, Lieutenant Colonel, sir.”