I rolled onto my side and met his eyes with my own, cupping his face in my shaking hands. “I need you on top of me,” I whispered. I needed to feel him on top of me like a blanket, covering me and keeping me safe. More than that, I needed him to cradle me and show me that I belonged to him.
Nic leaned back, his arm reaching down to find the pocket of his jeans. I was confused for a moment until I saw him yank out his wallet and pull a condom from it.
A bit late for that, I thought wryly.
I reached over and put my hands over his before he could tear the wrapper open. “Not this time,” I said. “Please. I want to really feel you.”
Nic hesitated for a moment, then nodded and flipped the condom onto the floor next to his clothes. He climbed on top of me, and his weight was just as warm and comforting as I'd known it would be. He put his knees between mine and nudged them apart softly, then put the palms of his hands under my neck and kissed me deeply. I felt his quivering tip pressed against my labia, and a moment later he pushed inside me with every inch, finding the back wall of my pussy easily and plunging against it. He continued to kiss me, swallowing my moans as our hips moved together with a single rhythm.
I had never felt so satisfyingly full—not just physically, but also full of joy and passion. It felt like our souls were meeting and interlocking somewhere in my abdomen, and that we'd be tethered together by this invisible force long after he'd withdrawn from our sexual embrace.
I remembered the collection of cells growing inside of me, and I realized that in some way, this strange and permanent bond had actually been formed weeks ago. Our souls—in the form of the genetic materials that shaped who were were—had already intertwined to create something separate and new. Something unique that would represent both of us and our love for each other.
But tonight, it felt like this connection was finally being acknowledged and nourished.
I wrapped my arms and legs around Nic as tightly as I could. My knees hugged his sides, and my fingernails dug into the taut muscles of his back. Nic's hips were thrusting more quickly, the root of his cock grinding directly against my clit until I thought I would explode. Sure enough, I felt the same wet and insistent tug inside of me moments before I climaxed hard, drenching us both in my fluids. Nic moaned, and I felt him come inside of me a moment later, his semen roaring against my G-spot like a tidal wave.
We held each other for a long time, our sweat and juices mingling in a beautiful musk. I knew that I wanted him again, but after all of the excitement and terror I'd been through that night, I could feel the adrenaline high quickly fading into deep fatigue. Even though my heart was pounding, my limbs and eyelids felt like there were heavy weights tied to them. My thoughts cartwheeled off into the distance as I thought about what tomorrow would bring and whether I could tell Nic about the baby.
Eventually, I slipped into a dreamless sleep in Nic's arms.
Chapter Nineteen
Nic
I was just starting to doze off when my burner buzzed in my pocket. Shit. I can't even have a single fucking moment to be happy and forget about this Giovanni nightmare, can I? I couldn't kid myself that my troubles were over just because I'd reunited with Lauren, but I'd thought that I would at least have a few hours of sleeping next to her to put it out of my mind.
Well, so much for that. Fuck.
I moved my arm to reach for my jeans and Lauren groaned quietly in protest, trying to pull it back over her. “What is it?” she slurred sleepily, her eyes still closed.
“It's okay, darlin',” I whispered. I gently removed her arm and draped it over her body, kissing her forehead. “It's just my phone. I need to answer it, but I'll be right back.”
She murmured something else and rolled over. It looked like she was already asleep again. I pulled the phone from my jeans and walked into the living room, trying to keep my voice down. “Yeah?”
Bard's voice answered. “We need you at the Nest. Now.” He sounded worried.
“What happened?” I asked.
“It's Growler. He turned up.”
“Holy shit,” I answered. I immediately realized that my voice had raised in surprise, and I lowered it again so I wouldn't wake Lauren. “Growler? Is he alive?”
There was a long pause before Bard answered. “You could say that.”
“Well, what kind of shape is he in? How does he look?”
“About as bad as you'd expect,” Bard replied. “Maybe worse, depending on your level of imagination.”
“Fuck,” I said, sighing. “Okay, I'll be right there.”
I hung up and returned to the bedroom, listening to Lauren's steady breathing as I pulled my clothes on. Once I was dressed, I leaned over and kissed her, waking her up. “I have to go out for a little while,” I said. “I want you to stay here until I get back. It shouldn't be too long.”
Lauren looked up at me, confused. “Is everything okay?”
I highly fuckin' doubt it, babe.
“Everything is gonna be fine,” I reassured her. “They just need me at the Nest for a bit, and it's not safe for you to come with. You'll be fine here, though, I promise.”
There was fear in her eyes. “Are you sure? Should I go back to my place?”
I wish to hell that I knew. I wish I could be 100% sure that those wiseguys really did attack her randomly. But if there's even a slight chance that they singled her out because they somehow knew her connection with me, then they'll know where she lives for sure. That's a chance I can't afford to take.
Bard had another favorite saying. “The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.” Maybe Bard would be smart enough to see whether an angle was being played here, and if so, what it was and whether it involved Lauren. But just because I couldn't see it didn't mean I could assume it wasn't there.
“You might be safer here,” I answered. “For the moment, anyway.”
“What do you mean, Nic? Am I...not safe now? Is there something I should know?”
I sighed. I sucked at comforting people. But for her sake, I had to try harder. “Look, you're fine, okay? Everything's going to be fine. I just need to go straighten some stuff out with the Reapers. But it's no big deal, and after that I'll come back and tell you more. I'm sorry, I know you're probably confused as hell and I don't mean to sound mysterious, but I really need to go now.”
“Okay,” Lauren replied in a small voice. I hoped that what I'd said had helped, but she still looked anxious. She leaned forward and kissed me again. “Don't worry. I'll be here when you get back.”
I kissed her one more time, then walked out and down the back steps. As I retrieved Lola from the shed and walked her through the alleys to a safe distance, I was certain that Lauren would be fine. After all, she was tougher than she looked, and nothing could hurt her while she was here at the safe house.
Fuck, I wish I'd been right about that. But it turned out that I was dead wrong.
Chapter Twenty
Lauren
I tried to go back to sleep after Nic's phone buzzed. My head was still aching from the panic I'd felt earlier and I felt like I could have used another twelve hours of rest.
But when I heard Nic's half of the phone conversation, I felt fear creeping over my entire body like spiders' legs and I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again.
“Holy shit. Growler? Is he alive?”
I remembered that Growler was the huge, heavily-scarred man who was tending bar the night I met Nic. Yikes. If Nic sounds that surprised he's alive, what could have happened to him? I tried to picture the kinds of people who'd be able to hurt someone who looked like Growler, but I couldn't.
“Well, what kind of shape is he in? How does he look?”
I thought of the shooting again, and what Nic had said afterward about how they were at war. It was hard to convince myself that what had happened to Growler wasn't related to that war. Had he been shot? Stabbed? Beaten to death? Blown up?
If I really do decide to stay with Nic, could those things happen to me too? Even with the feelings I have for Nic, was I wrong to tell him that I wanted to be with him? Did I make a mistake I can't take back?
And if so, how will I end up paying for it? In heartache or in blood?
I heard Nic's voice from the next room again. “Fuck.”
Whatever happened to Growler, I guess it didn't leave him looking good at all.
“Okay, I'll be right there,” Nic said. I heard him hang up the phone and tried to tell myself that the conversation wasn't necessarily about anything violent. They're bikers. Maybe Growler was in an accident and got injured. Maybe Nic just has to go see his friend in the hospital. He'll come in and tell me that's what happened, and there won't be anything mysterious or sinister to it at all.
I closed my eyes as he walked in and pretended I'd been asleep the whole time. I didn't want him to know that I'd been listening to his phone call about club business that had nothing to do with me.
But when he told me that he had to go to the Nest to “straighten some stuff out with the Reapers” and that he wanted me to stay here for my own safety, my heart sank. He clearly didn't want me to worry, but that was impossible after what I'd heard. I wanted to beg him to stay so we could be safe together and ignore whatever chaos his club was involved in.