The only drawback was walking from the Grand Red Line stop to the office and back each day. The el station was near the bright lights and posh shopping centers of Michigan Avenue, but even though LaSalle Street was just four blocks west, it seemed like a world away. There were gang signs spray-painted on almost every wall and door, and each time I passed an alley, I could feel eyes staring out at me.
I tried to always keep my eyes focused straight ahead. I didn't know what happened in those alleys and I prayed that I'd never find out.
Once I'd gotten the job, Mom and Dad had immediately offered to pay the security deposit and application fees for an apartment for me. I was tempted, but I knew how much more it would mean to me if I could pay those costs myself. I waited until I'd saved enough, then found the studio and hired the movers, all without any help.
Of course my parents were proud. I was proud of me, too.
Dad excused himself, saying he'd left something in the car and needed to go get it. As he left, I heard Mom making sounds of muted disapproval as she tested the water in the bathroom. “You'll want to tell the rental company about this,” she called out.
“I'm pretty sure they already know, Mom,” I answered, unpacking my clothes and tossing them into the dresser drawers.
“So they'll send someone to fix it?” she asked. She was standing in the bathroom doorway, wiping the brown water off her hands with a paper towel and trying not to grimace.
“Yeah, soon probably,” I said. With how little I was paying in rent, I doubt they'd have sent someone even if a bomb went off. But hey, at least it was home and I didn't have to share it with anyone.
Well, except maybe a boyfriend someday.
Dad entered the apartment again, red-faced and panting. My studio was on the third floor and the building didn't have an elevator. My father was pushing sixty and had a bad knee, and for a moment, I felt a deep twinge of guilt for not offering to run down to the car to get whatever he needed.
Then I saw the gift-wrapped box under his arm.
“Guys, what is this?” I asked. “You already took me to my favorite place for dinner. You didn't have to get me anything else!”
“We actually bought this for you when you first got hired,” Mom said, smiling. “We wanted to give it to you then, to celebrate, but your father said...”
“I didn't want to jinx it for you, that's all,” Dad said, handing it to me. There were tears in his eyes. “But after two months, we figure it should be pretty safe now. Congratulations, Jewel. On everything.”
I opened the box and saw a gorgeous blouse and pleated skirt resting on a bed of pink tissue paper. My parents weren't wealthy and they tended to buy their clothes from Target or JCPenney, but I could tell they'd paid a lot for this outfit. A stunning brooch of gold and emeralds was perched on top of the blouse.
“The brooch was your great-grandmother's,” Mom said. “She was one of Chicago's first female attorneys, and she wore it to court every day. The rest is from Saks.”
“Mom, Dad...I don't know what to say,” I said, feeling a lump in my throat. I didn't want to cry, but I wasn't sure I could help it.
“You don't have to say anything,” Mom said, kissing me on the forehead. “Every time you put it on, just try to remember how much we love you and believe in you.”
“And we always will,” Dad added gruffly, sniffling and ruffling my hair affectionately.
“I will,” I said. “Even when I don't have it on, I'll always remember that.”
Mom and Dad looked at each other uneasily. “Well, I guess we'd better be getting home before the traffic gets too bad,” Dad sighed. “I know you've got a lot of unpacking and settling in to do.”
Mom nodded, and I realized that neither of them really wanted to go. For the first time, I understood how much they'd enjoyed having me live with them, and I was worried that they'd be sad now that my room was empty. I hoped they'd be okay.
“I'll come visit next weekend,” I offered, “if that works for you?”
Dad smiled heavily. “We'll see,” he said.
“Your father means if you want to come and spend time with us, that would be lovely,” Mom added. “But we can wait until it's closer to make plans. You have your own life now, with a job and a place to yourself, and probably soon there'll be friends and boys...”
“Mom,” I said, feeling myself blush.
“...and that's what weekends are for,” Mom finished, patting my shoulder. “So we'll see. Until then, call, okay? Not every day, just sometimes. So we'll know how you're doing.”
“I will,” I promised.
I had no idea how soon I'd have to break that promise to them.
Chapter 3
Rafe
The rest of the hours ticked away as I sat in my cell until it was finally time to leave.
Clyde came to open my cell door and lead me to the processing area. I almost expected him to take me on a detour to a supply closet or something and beat me to death on Jester's orders since everyone else had failed. He was just a hack and in spite of how fair he'd seemed during my time there, on the outside, hacks were just men with gambling debts and vulnerable families. Just about anyone could be bought or threatened. I'd seen it lots of times before.
Instead, Clyde took me to the warehouse-like room I'd originally walked through seven years ago. There was a plexiglass window with a pass-through drawer in it. Behind it were shelves of boxes stacked all the way to the ceiling. Each one was taped shut and labeled with the name and ID number of the prisoner whose belongings it held. Since I was the only one scheduled for release today, I didn't have to wait in line.
The guard behind the glass was the same one who'd processed me when I came in. He'd looked about a hundred and fifty years old the first time I'd seen him, and I was surprised he hadn't retired since then. He had my box in front of him already and was slowly cutting the tape with a box-cutter. He removed each item with trembling, liver-spotted hands, placing them in the pass-through one by one.
“Logan, Rafe,” he wheezed, making check-marks in his notebook. “Prisoner number 09L281. One pair of boots, snake skin. One pair of socks, black. One pair of underwear, black. One pair of jeans, blue. One t-shirt, black. One denim vest, War Reaper patch. One cigarette lighter, silver. One wrist watch, silver, black leather band. One Swiss Army knife.”
He pulled a lever and the pass-through drawer opened on my side of the glass. I gathered up my stuff and let Clyde lead me to the table across the room. I stripped down in front of him for the final time, tossing the prison uniform on the table and slipping into my real clothes. Their original smell of sweat and machine grease had been mostly eclipsed by the moth balls they'd been packed in, and the t-shirt was a little tight around my chest and shoulders from all the exercise I'd done while in prison.
Still, I finally felt like a human again instead of just a fucking ant in an ant farm, indistinguishable from all the rest.
Better than that, when I put on my cut, I finally felt like a Reaper again.
Clyde led me to the tall doors on the other side of the room and signaled to another guard behind another plexiglass window. As the heavy doors rolled apart from each other, the sunlight hit my face and I squinted, smiling. I'd been in the prison yard almost every day since I'd gotten there so I'd seen plenty of sunlight, but this felt different. In there, the sunlight was a cruel tease of freedom that could never be had inside the stone walls. No matter how bright it was, the light from it still felt cold somehow.
This time, it felt warm and welcoming.
Clyde walked me out into the breezy air and up to the front gates. He gestured to another guard behind another plexiglass window and the gates pulled back. I listened to the crunch of gravel under my boots and felt the old swagger in my hips again. I realized Clyde wasn't walking with me anymore, and turned to look at him. He stood at the doors, looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“I reckon I'll be seeing you again real soon, Logan,” Clyde said.
“Only in your head, Clyde,” I replied, “and only when you're jerking off. Have a nice life, though.”
Clyde smirked and stepped back inside. He never took his eyes off me as the doors rolled shut.
I knew there was a shuttle that would show up in a few minutes to take me back to the city. But before I could walk over to the bus stop, I heard a series of loud honks from a car horn, accompanied by loud yelling and death metal music. I peered down the road and saw a cloud of dust getting closer.
Son of a bitch, I thought, laughing. The fuckers actually came to pick me up. They remembered.
The Reapers’ War Chariot skidded to a halt in front of the Potawatomi gates. The doors immediately sprung open to reveal Boomer, Ditch, and Sperm, three of my best friends from the MC. Boomer practically tackled me as he wrapped his huge arms around me, his burn-scarred face beaming. The other two embraced me a second later, hooting with excitement and clapping me on the shoulders.
“How the fuck are you, man?” Boomer exclaimed, releasing me. “Jesus, did you do anything except lift weights in there? Your arms are the size of goddamn tree trunks.”
“Hey, I'm sure he found time to do other stuff, like bite a pillow or two,” Sperm guffawed.