Take Me On(60)
John’s office sits dark and, if I’m manning up, forward is my only option. I broke the heart of a person they love. If I’m lucky, I’ll leave here with bones still intact.
I weave through the bags and call out to them, “Is John here?”
Their heads snap up in unison. The scratching of Velcro being undone breaks through the silence. Jax flies under the ropes and throws his headgear and gloves to the side. “Gotta death wish, Young?”
I show him the palm stop sign. “I’m here to talk to John. He knows I’m coming.”
With sweat pouring down his body, Jax mock glances around the gym. “Don’t see him.”
“Look, I made a mistake. I broke up with Haley because my dad said he’d pay for her college if I did.”
Jax advances on me like I said nothing. “I think you’re full of shit. I think now that Haley’s gone you want the benefit of this gym without having to respect the girl.”
“Where’s John?”
“Dunno. He told us to be here. Guess he wanted to give us an early Christmas present.”
Fuck. I’ve been set up. Jax widens his stance and I mirror the position and tighten my fist. Haley’s voice screams in my head to hold up my guard, but I don’t want to invite the hit. I’m not searching for a fight. “I’d get on my knees in front of Haley, tell her the truth and beg her to take me back if I could.”
Fire blazes out of his eyes. “Wrong choice of words.”
Jax swings and my guard goes up. I duck below the hit and sidestep out of the way. “I don’t want to fight you.”
“Too bad.”
He throws the cross and I block and meet the jab. Jax gains the low kick, but I quickly spin out of reach. “Fight!” Jax yells. “Are you a fucking man or not?”
“I’m not fighting you. I’m not here to fight you.”
We begin the dance. He attacks, and I counter but keep my blows to the block. Jax goes for the cross again, but in a snap he’s at my knees and I’m down. Dammit. I roll to keep him from gaining position and jump to my feet, guard up, ready to go again.
I do a double take when Jax leans against the ring and drinks from a water bottle. “Haley’s right. He sucks at the floor.”
Kaden slips under the ropes. “I needed more time. Never said I was a miracle worker.”
“We’ve got a week. Surely you can teach him some crazy shit by then.”
“Something’s better than nothing.” He nods at me. “You’re lucky she taught you how to block so damn well. You’re going to need it against Matt. He’s got a mean hook.”
I lower my arms when John emerges from the locker room. “She hasn’t taught him how to block a hook or an undercut. She was sticking to basics.”
Jax’s shoulders shake as he laughs. “Basics against Matt. Maybe she wanted him to die.”
Son of a bitch. “What the hell is going on?”
“Checking to see if you’re salvageable,” answers John. “And good thing for you, you kept that temper in check. Otherwise, your ass would be out of my gym.”
“Did you really break up with her because your dad would pay her tuition?” Kaden asks.
All three of them stare at me in silence and I keep my fists tight in case they don’t agree with my decision. “Yeah, but by showing here I’ve negated the deal.”
“She wouldn’t have accepted the money,” says Jax. “Haley has more class than that.”
She has more class than to be with me. Jax may not have thrown a physical hit, but he landed a blow full of guilt. “I know that now.”
“Does this look like the YMCA, girls?” asks John. “We’ve got a week until the fight.”
Jax straps on his gear and I angle my body so John knows I’m talking to him alone, but I have no doubt Jax and Kaden are listening. “I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but when this is done...tell Haley I kept my word and she’s worth fighting for.”
John pats my shoulder as he enters the ring. “That she is. Now get changed and get your ass on my floor.”
Chapter 77
Haley
I have never envied anyone in my life like I envy Maggie. Lying next to me, Maggie’s arms are flung over her head. One socked foot hangs off the bed; the other sockless foot has broken free of the blankets. Only her middle is covered. She breathes lightly, rhythmically and I wish I could share such deep, dreamless sleep.
When I sleep, I dream of West: of his smile, his laughter, his hands on me. We kiss and we touch and when our bodies are intertwined, West whispers he loves me and every time...I wake up feeling cold and alone and with tears.
Tonight, maybe I won’t sleep. Insomnia sounds like a wonderful habit.
For once, sleep isn’t a problem for my father. He’s turned away from me, tucked tightly in a ball on the other bed. Maybe this will mean he’s on some sort of road to recovery. Unfortunately, I’m pretty numb on hope.
“I don’t know, Dad...” Mom dragged the phone with her into the bathroom. She’s called John every night since we left and each night she emerges with red, puffy eyes. After John’s car broke down, we spent almost a week at my mother’s cousin’s house. Now, we’re back on the road. The door to the bathroom clicks open and a ray of light floods the cramped room.
“Haley,” whispers Mom. “Kaden wants to talk to you.”
I slide off the bed and Mom squeezes out of the bathroom as I slip in.
“Are you sure?” I ask. Kaden avoids conversation in person. He loathes phones.
Her answer is the closed door. Limited on options, I sit on the edge of the tub and press the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“You need to come home, Hays. It’s West. He’s taking the fight.”
West Young broke up with me in a deal he made with his father. He was to leave the life he built behind and his dad would have paid for my college tuition. I briefly close my eyes. Stupid boy. Stupid, insanely sweet, going to get his ass kicked by me, stupid boy and I’m in love with him and West lied to me knowing I’d never agree.
He’s right. I wouldn’t have and I wonder how he thought I would have accepted the money, but none of that matters now.
Sitting on a bench outside the bus station, I grip the backpack hanging between my bouncing knees. It’s full of my clothes and the few precious items I won’t be separated with. When our house foreclosed, I had boxes and boxes of stuff I claimed as important. Funny how priorities change.
In the space in front of me, the bus’s motor purrs. Mom and I left a half hour ago, leaving a note for Dad. Maggie’s curled up on the bench beside mine, sound asleep and cradling her American Girl doll. The early morning air nips at my skin and I rub at the forming goose bumps.
Mom exits the office, sits on the bench next to me and lays the ticket on my lap. “Tell your grandfather I’m now trusting him with over half of my heart. It was hard enough to leave Kaden and Jax behind. Now the scale is completely imbalanced.”
Guilt eats at me as I handle the ticket. It was cheap, but it’s still money we don’t have. But Mom agreed. Returning for me is necessary. My knees continue to bounce as a chaotic ticker crosses my mind: I’m leaving my parents... I’m leaving my mom.
“Will you promise me something?” she asks.
“Sure.” Anything.
“Don’t listen to the lie in your head keeping you from discussing what happened with you and Matt. Speaking out takes courage, but fear can make a compelling argument. I’m not saying it will be easy, but telling the truth gives you power...It sets you free.”
I nod, unable to say anything back. I can’t imagine saying the words out loud, but I can’t imagine living like this forever.
“Are you going back for West?” she asks.
“Yes... No...” The answer is both, but I say the simple truth. “I’m doing this for me.”
“Good. You’re a strong girl. Please don’t forget that.”
But I don’t feel strong. A huge part of me wants to crawl onto my mother’s lap and cling to her for dear life. All those years of holding her hand, the squeeze of her fingers stopping me when I attempted to cross the street before looking, the glances of approval, the hug after a hard day...her gentle presence in my life... I’m willingly leaving it behind.
My throat tightens. “What if I’m not ready to be on my own?”
“You’ve been on your own for a while and you’re just now figuring it out. You’ll always be my baby, Haley, just like I’ll always be your mom.”
She wraps her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder. When I was younger, my mom read to me every night. Back in our old home, back when life was simpler. She snuggled in my bed and brought peace and security. “Why did it have to change?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers. “But it did and all we can do is go forward.”
“I’m trying.” Air is harder to inhale. “But how do I walk away from you?”
“You aren’t walking away, baby. You’re growing up. But remember, I don’t care if you’re eighty and I’m a hundred and thirteen. I will always hold you, I will always love you and I will always be right here.”