Take Me On(49)

West closes his eyes as if my touch affects and seduces him. My pulse thuds to the point my frame quakes. I know what I want and the courage to say it evades me until West brings my hand to his mouth. His lips press against my palm and I rush out the words, “I dream of you at night. Of this.”

“Me, too.” He releases my hand and I draw forward, holding my arms in the air. West grasps the hem of my shirt and he slowly edges the material up while leaving hot, lingering kisses along my stomach, between my breasts and onto my neck. West’s body is blazing and what I love is the thump of his heart against my skin.

“I love you,” he says.

Nervous adrenaline creeps into my bloodstream. I love him. I do. I love his strength, his tenacity, his loyalty and even his impulsiveness. But I’m frightened how those three words said aloud will change everything.

With his body blanketing mine, our hearts in tune with each other, the emotion I’ve been fighting overpowers me and I’ve never liked the feeling of losing control. My lip trembles as a hot tear escapes and streams down my cheek.

West catches it with a kiss. “We’re strong together, Haley. Stronger than we are apart.”

“I don’t feel strong,” I whisper.

“Then I’ll be strong enough for both of us.”

My fingers dig into his shoulders and I cling to him. “I love you.”

West captures my lips and the intensity of the embrace unravels all train of thought. Our hands are everywhere: touching, exploring. His on my body. Mine on his. A strap of my bra down, then another.

We roll and his hands are tight in my hair, our tongues slide urgently against the other, and, as I hook a leg around his, we roll again and my body arches with the way we fit.

Hands wander lower and with warmth spreading everywhere I whisper his name—one time, then another—and with a few more touches he whispers mine. West’s fingers pause on the button of my jeans and we both snap open our eyes.

Our breaths come out in gasps. “I want you to be my first. This means something—making love means something. It’s why I haven’t done it before. I’ve been waiting for you.”

I lick my lips and nod, wanting to know what it’s like to be with someone who loves me and I love in return. My lips brush against his and West slips the button through the hole and the unzipping of my jeans becomes the only noise in the room.

Silence as we stare at one another. My jeans are unzipped. We can go forward or we can go back, and even though I’m scared as hell, I don’t want to go back.

My fingers find his jeans and West’s grace eludes me. A metal button through an open space of material. It should be easy, simple, uncomplicated, but my fingers fumble. One time. A second time. With the third, I feel an indention of the button forming on the tip of my finger.

West lays his hands over mine and I close my eyes, wishing I’d die. He doesn’t push me away. Instead he guides my fingers in a fluid and effortless flick and his zipper crackles.

I swear to God my heart can’t beat any faster.

With my bra and jeans half off, I flounder with the blanket beneath me.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

Nope. Not at all. In fact, I’m burning up, but being naked is intimidating. I guess I’m more experienced, but really...I’m not. “Do you mind?”

He shakes his head and under the covers we shed the last of our clothes. We lie on our sides, facing each other, and West runs his hand along the curve of my body. He unashamedly looks through the gap, seeing more of me than anyone else has. “You’re beautiful.”

My mouth slants up and West gathers me to him. We lie there for a while, enjoying the warmth and the new feeling of being next to each other. I steal a few glances at West and I know he knows that I’m satisfying curiosity by peeking, but still...it’s weird and exhilarating.

“Can we... Can you turn the lights off?” Because while West is stunning, there’s an intimacy I’d prefer in the dark.

The kindness in his eyes almost removes the sting of the blush on my cheeks. He turns off the television, shifts off the bed, and I bite my lip as I watch his bare butt and the way the muscles in his shoulders move as he crosses the room.

With a flip of a switch, blackness envelops the room and it takes a second for my eyes to readjust. Little lights glimmer from his assorted electronics, and from the glow of the cracked-open bathroom, I can see just enough. West’s feet pad against the carpet back to me. The bed dips and his heat reaches me before his body.

We’re slow in returning to the edginess—the rawness that causes me to forget I’m naked and West is naked and that we’re sharing something so intimate, so intense...

West breaks away and mutters a curse. Cold air slaps my body and panic tenses my muscles. I replay the past few seconds, searching for what I did wrong. “What is it?”

He falls back to his pillow and I tuck the sheet over my breasts. “West?”

“I don’t have a condom.”

I blink. He doesn’t have a... “But I thought all guys...” Guess they don’t.

He rubs his eyes. “I told you. I don’t have sex.”

“Oh.” Giddiness invades my voice. “So you still want me?”

West peers at me out of the corner of his eye and motions downward. “Obviously.”

I nervously giggle, then stop, feeling relieved and somewhat...frustrated. Like waking up from a dream of kissing West and not finding him in my bed. “I won’t do it without one.”

“Neither will I.” He rolls to a sitting position and grabs his jeans. “Then we’ll get one.”

I don’t know why, but that freaks me out. I reach out and snatch his hand. “Stay.”

“But—”

I squeeze his fingers. “Stay. We can do...other...things... Just stay. I don’t want to go to a store and pick it out because then it’s not...the moment...this moment...”

West is silent for a bit, then nods. “Okay.”

I breathe out a sigh. “Okay.”

He slides back beside me and kisses my lips. “But I’m buying some.”

“All right.” I lose my breath again as his hands resume their exploration.

“I mean it,” he says.

“I one hundred percent believe you.” And with a few more touches we become lost.

There’s a building of sensation and all the emotion drives it to an inferno. Our bodies weave into an intricate web and, if given the option, I don’t want to escape. I grab hold tighter and so does West. We gasp and then the entire world fades away, leaving only us.

We collapse into each other; muscles weak and minds drifting. Our arms and legs are tangled and West tucks me into his body. One arm draped protectively over me. My cheek rests against his chest and his heart beats steadily in my ear. I love him. I do.

West kisses the top of my head as his hands trace meaningless patterns on my back. “I love you, Haley,” he whispers. “I love you.”





Chapter 58




West

I stare at the report card I received in first period. No matter how many times I unfold it, the letters never alter: solid Bs. The smile, once again, spreads across my face regardless of the anger that’s been simmering inside me since Saturday night.

The bell rings for lunch and Haley stands. She tosses her light brown hair over her shoulder and, for a few seconds, I’m back in bed with her and I swear I feel that silky hair sliding against my bare chest.

“You’re going to rub the ink off. Then no one’s going to believe you,” she says.

I refold the paper and slip it into my notebook. Haley’s met my demons, grades included, and loves me anyhow. Her arm swings next to mine as we maneuver through the crowded hallway to lunch. I enjoy the satisfied tilt of her lips when my hand connects with hers. It’s Monday. Saturday night changed everything for us—it made us better, made us stronger.

“It’s amazing what happens when you study,” she teases again.

“Or attend class.” This afternoon I’m nailing my report card to the door of Dad’s office.

“I was thinking we should skip lunch today.” Haley flutters her eyelashes and her sexy expression almost blows me off course. Almost.

“I’m hungry.”

She squishes her lips together. “I’ve got some pretzels in my backpack.”

“I’m really hungry.”

Haley stops dead at the entrance of the cafeteria and her grasp tightens. Hoping she’d continue, I walk forward until my arm completely stretches behind me. When I turn, Haley’s lost the cuteness. “Don’t do it, West.”

“Do what?” We both know that in the cafeteria I’m going after Matt hard and fast.

The second I dropped Haley off at the corner near her uncle’s house on Saturday, because we can’t be seen together since his ultimatum, I’ve thought about this moment. The anger has built and stewed and I’m damn ready for it to boil over. Haley won’t give me details, but Matt hit her and I’m done with everyone acting like she’s roadkill, her family included.

“Remember what I said about you leading with your emotions,” she says.

“Yes.”

“Well, this is you doing it.”

“Haley, this is premeditation at its best.”

“It’s not how long you think about it—it’s the emotion. Anger is going to get you nowhere. I take that back. Anger is going to get you killed.” Haley glances around the cafeteria. Sensing the anger pulsating from me, people watch us like bottleneckers with a car wreck.