Take Me On(42)
We end up in West’s SUV, driving around for hours talking about Rachel and hospitals, Isaiah and Abby, his relationship or nonrelationship with his father, how he’s been following his mother for over a year and Abby’s confession that his mother visits her brother at the bar.
“What are you going to do?” I ask as West stops at the last red light before we turn into my uncle’s neighborhood. “About your mom?”
He switches the hand he drives with and stares off into space. “I don’t know. I’ll try to talk to Abby again, but the more I talk to her, the further down the rabbit hole I fall.”
It’s like how I feel when I have a conversation with Matt. For a few seconds last week, I considered his deal. I could return to Matt for twenty-four hours, for a day, and then he’d be forced to keep his word and wipe the slate clean. But due to what’s happened with West, for better or worse, the option is no longer on the table.
Unable to look at him, I pick at lint on my shirt. “What number girlfriend am I?”
The light changes and West takes the right. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”
I laugh, then sober up when his mouth bunches to the right.
“You’re kidding,” I say.
He shakes his head and my imagination clicks at full speed. “You don’t kiss like you’ve never had a girlfriend.”
West scratches the shadow forming on his chin and is unusually silent for him. My stomach sinks. Crap. Just crap. “How bad?” I ask. He said he hooked up before, but how many hookups is he talking?
Silence. A long silence. Silence should be forbidden.
“Bad,” he finally answers.
The interior of the SUV darkens as we enter the lightless viaduct of the neighborhood. My skin pricks as the ghosts of West’s beautiful, bold and uninhibited lipstick-and thigh-high-wearing hookups hover near me. I bet they knew every secret move, every intimate whisper, and never blushed or fidgeted when touching went too fast and clothes were shed too quickly.
“Matt’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had,” I admit. “The only guy I’ve ever kissed.”
The washed-out sympathetic glance he throws me makes me want to shoot myself. He already knew. Sitting here in a pair of faded jeans, I have never felt as homely as I do now. I’m going to freaking strangle Jessica. I’m sure she gave him an entire history lesson on me.
West eases in front of my uncle’s and his expression hardens as he gazes past me to the house. “What the hell?”
I whip my head and panic shocks my nervous system. My hands fumble for the door handle, and after three tries I fling myself out of the SUV as West yells out behind me to stop, but I can’t stop. It’s Jax and if I don’t intervene, my uncle will throw him out.
Chapter 50
West
Haley bolts and I mutter a curse as I shove the car into Park and chase after her. On the front lawn of her uncle’s house, Jax and an older version of Jax stand nose to nose. Both of their shoulders stiff and tight, hands and arms ready to strike.
“Do it!” yells the older guy. “Become a man and take the damned swing!”
“No!” shouts Haley and she rushes them. The front door bangs against the worn siding and Kaden’s out of the house. He jumps off the stoop and collides with his cousin.
“Let him go!” The older guy, the asshole, moves within eyeshot of Jax. The moment their gazes meet again, Jax attempts to surge toward him, but Kaden interlocks their arms, chest against chest, so that Jax goes no more than a step.
Using his shoulder, Kaden pushes him back, in my direction, and Haley’s following them. In a movement so smooth it appears coordinated, Kaden slides to the left, keeping Jax in his grip, and Haley slips in front of Jax and cups his face near his eyes, distorting his peripheral vision. “You don’t want to do this,” she says.
“I do.” Jax jacks his head to get a view of the dick still dropping insults. “I want to fucking kill him.”
“A year,” Haley says rapidly. “A year and you’re out. Think of your mom. Think of your brothers. You can’t protect them if you’re not here. If you give your dad what he wants, he’ll throw you out. He’ll call the police. It’s what he wants. He wants to prove John is wrong.”
With her last sentence, Jax darts his eyes to hers. “John’s not wrong about me.”
“He is!” The asshole spits at the ground. “Never seen such a waste of skin in my life.”
“Don’t listen to him.” Haley keeps her hands on Jax’s face. “I know you, and John’s not wrong. He’s right. He’s very, very right. You’re going to succeed.”
I stay near the car, but I have a foot angled toward the asshole, ready to protect Haley. I don’t know Jax. He doesn’t know me. I’ve encroached on his family and he hates that an outsider is involved with someone he loves. I understand that. I get it. And the rage in his eyes, the hurt radiating from his posture—I understand that, too. We both have fathers who should be roasting in hell.
“John’s wrong,” taunts the asshole. “Just like he’s wrong about the girl. Want to tell her what you said, Jax, or should I?”
Jax grimaces and Kaden readjusts his grip. “Get out of here, Haley.”
“What?” Haley lowers her hands as the pain contorting Jax’s face is mirrored on hers. I inch closer, not liking the change between them.
“Go, Haley!” There’s a force in Kaden’s voice that could terrify a pissed-off rattlesnake. “You!” And he glares at me. “Get her out!”
Don’t have to tell me twice. I move in Haley’s direction as the screen door creaks and a guy resembling Kaden joins the party. “What’s happening?”
“Get her out, West!” Kaden yells. “Dad, go back inside.”
Haley’s eyes flicker between her cousin and brother. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Jax’s dad laughs and he’s the only one who thinks this midnight scenario is funny. “Jesus, Jax. You don’t want her to hear what you had to say about her dating one of the Black Fire boys? I’d imagine Saint John thinks the same thing.”
Haley steps back and the pain darkening her eyes also rips my heart. Jax sags and Kaden releases him. “It’s not what you think.”
I slice in between them, facing her, not letting her cousin access. “Let’s go.”
But she’s not even on my planet as she peers around me. “Jax?”
“I was mad,” he explains. “I was talking to Kaden after I found out about you and West. I didn’t know anyone was around to overhear and it’s not what you think.”
The regret weighs his tone and I ache for him and for Haley. I understand regret. I understand being hurt, but Haley is my lone concern. I lace my fingers with hers, holding on even though her hand lies cold and dead in mine. “It doesn’t matter what he said. Let’s walk.”
“It matters,” she whispers. “Did you say it, Jax? Did you say it again?”
“That you’re a slut?” the asshole announces into the night. “Yeah, he did.”
The bear hibernating in me roars to life as I round on Jax’s father. “What did you say?”
“Slut.” His grin twitches. “I don’t know who you are, so get off my property.”
I’m on fire. Haley’s voice becomes distant as I cross the yard. He called her a slut. He called the girl I love a slut. Inches from him, I throw my fist back to pound the hell out of him when arms are everywhere. Behind me, in front of me, beside me and dragging me away.
“Want to say that again?” I shift my arm and I’m out of the grasp.
“Stop it!” Haley screams as she appears in front of me.
But I can’t stop. I love her. I love her and this asshole guy has made her life hell. He’s hurt what I love and he won’t do it again. With a hard yank, I’m free.
I rush forward again and a foot hooks against my calf and a hand grazes up my arm. In a flash, I’m in a free fall with my arm twisted behind my back. I grunt as my body crashes to the ground and Haley crouches beside me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers in my ear. “I’m sorry. If you do this, he’ll kick us out. He might already and we have nowhere to go. Nowhere. I’m sorry. So sorry.”
Searching for freedom, I jerk and she releases me as the apology continues. Rising to my knees, the world shifts into slow motion as I glance at her brother, her cousin, then to her father.
Not one of them came to her defense. Haley’s uncle hovers over me. “Get off my property. If you come back here again, I’m calling the police.” He glares at Haley. “If you continue to see him, you and your entire worthless family are out.”
The front door slams shut as he goes into the house. Everyone else—her father, her cousin, her brother—solidify into frozen dumb-ass lawn ornaments in his screwed-up world. I drop my head into my hands as the anger begins to fade and the reality of what I’ve done sinks into my bone marrow. Just fuck.
“We’re not over,” I say so only she can hear. Haley massages circles over her temples.
The April night isn’t cold enough for my breath to show, but it’s cold enough for the air to burn my lungs. I hate the agony in her eyes, on her face, but what I hate more is the silent acceptance by her so-called family.