“You’re killing me,” he said, closing his eyes.
“Well, I don’t want you to die. You just offered me your penis for carnal usage. I want you alive.”
“So that’s it? My penis has now become the star of the show. Wow, how quickly our friendship has eroded.”
“Our friendship is still solid. I think it just goes to prove how solid your dick is.”
“With romantic praise like that, how are you still single?”
“I have no idea. I spout sonnets effortlessly.”
He leaned forward, kissing her, a strange, warm sensation washing over him. He was kissing Anna. And it didn’t feel quite as rushed and desperate as all the other times before it. A decision had been made. This wasn’t a hasty race against sanity. This wasn’t trying to get as much satisfaction as possible squeezed into a moment before reality kicked in. This was...well, in the new world order, it was sanctioned.
Instantly, he was rock hard again, ready to go, even though it’d been only a few minutes since his last orgasm. But there was one problem. “I don’t have a condom,” he said, cursing and pushing himself away from her. “I don’t suppose the woman who has been celibate for the past thirteen years has one?”
“No,” she said, sagging against the wall. “You only carry one on you?”
“Yeah. I’m not superhuman. I don’t usually expect to get it on more than once in a couple of hours.”
“But you were going to with me?”
He looked down at his very erect cock. “Does this answer your question?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, then.” He let out a heavy sigh.
“You could stay and watch...Oklahoma! with me.”
He nodded slowly. He should stay and watch Oklahoma! with her. If he didn’t, it kind of made a mockery of the whole friends-with-benefits thing. Because, before the sex, he would have stayed with her to watch a movie, of course. To hang out, because she was one of his favorite people on earth to spend time with. Even if her taste in movies was deeply suspect.
Of course, he didn’t particularly want to stay now, because she presented the temptation that he could not give in to.
“Unless you have to work early tomorrow.”
“I really do,” he said.
“Thank God.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You want to get rid of me?”
“I don’t really want to hang out with you when I know I can’t have you.”
“I felt the same way, but I didn’t want to say it. I thought it seemed kind of offensive.”
Strangely, she smiled. “I’m not offended. I’m not offended at all. I kind of like being irresistible.”
Instead of leaving, he knew that he could drive down to the store and buy a box of condoms. And he seriously considered it. The problem with that was there had to be some boundaries. Some limits. He was pretty sure being so horny and desperate that you needed to buy condoms right away instead of just waiting until you had protection on hand probably didn’t fit within the boundaries of friends with benefits.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
She nodded. “See you tomorrow.”
Nine
By the time Anna swung by the grocery store in the afternoon, she was feeling very mature, and very proud of herself. She was having a no-strings sexual relationship with her friend. And she was going to buy milk, cheese and condoms. Because she was mature and adult and completely fine with the whole situation. Also, mature.
She grabbed a cart and began to slowly walk up and down the aisles. She was not making sure that no one she knew was around. Because, of course, she wasn’t at all embarrassed to be in the store looking for milk, cheese and—incidentally—prophylactics. She was thirty. She was entitled to a little bit of sexual release. Anyway, no one was actually watching her.
She swallowed hard, trying to remember exactly which aisle the condoms were in. She had never bought any. Ever. In her entire life.
She had been extremely tempted to make a dash to the store last night when Chase had discovered he didn’t have any more protection, but she had imagined that was just a little bit too desperate. She was going to be nondesperate about this. Very chill. And not like a woman who was a near virgin. Or like someone who was so desperate to jump her best friend’s bones it might seem like there were deeper emotions at play. There were not.
The strong feelings she had were just...in her pants. Pants feelings. That’s it.
Last night’s breakdown had been purely because she was unaccustomed to sex. Just a little post-orgasmic release. That’s all it was. The whole thing was a release. Post-orgasmic tears weren’t really all that strange.
She felt bolstered by that thought.
She turned down the aisle labeled Family Planning and made her way toward the condoms. Lubricated. Extra-thin. Ribbed. There were options. She had to stand there and seriously ponder ribbed. She should have asked Chase what he had used last night. Because whatever that had been had been perfect.
“Anna.” The masculine voice coming from her left startled her.
She turned and—to her utter horror—saw her brother Mark standing there.
“Hi,” she said, taking two steps away from the condom shelf, as though that would make it less obvious why she was in the aisle. Whatever. They were adults. Neither of them were virgins and they were both aware of that.
Still, she needed some distance between herself and anything that said “ribbed for her pleasure” when she was standing there talking to her brother.
“Haven’t seen you in a couple days.”
“Well, you pissed me off last time I saw you.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Sorry.”
He probably was, too.
“Hey, whatever. I win your bet.”
His brows shot up. “I heard a rumor about you and Chase McCormack kissing at Beaches, but I was pretty sure that...” His eyes drifted toward the condoms. “Really?”
Dying of embarrassment was a serious risk at the moment, but she was caught. Completely and totally caught. And as long as she was drowning in a sea of horror...well, she might as well ride the tide.
If he needed proof her date with Chase was real, she imagined proof of sex was about the best there was.
She took a fortifying breath. “Really,” she said, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. “It’s happening. I have a date. I have more than a date. I have a whole future full of dates because I have a relationship. With Chase. You lose.”
“I’m supposed to believe that you and McCormack are suddenly—” his eyes drifted back to the condoms again “—that.”
“You don’t have to believe it. It’s true. He’s also going to be my date to the charity gala that I’m invited to. I will take my payment in small or large bills. Thank you.”
“I’m not convinced.”
“You’re not convinced?” She moved closer to the shelf and grabbed a box of condoms. “I am caught in the act.”
“Convenient,” he said, grabbing his own box.
She made a face. “It’s not convenient. It happened.”
“You’re in love with him?”
The question felt like a punch to the stomach. She did not like it. She didn’t like it at all. More than that, she had no idea what to say. No seemed...wrong. Yes seemed worse. And she wasn’t really sure either answer was true.
You can’t love Chase.
She couldn’t not love him, either. He was her friend, after all. Of course she wasn’t in love with him.
Her stomach twisted tight. No. She did not love him. She didn’t do love. At all. Especially not with him. Because he would never...
“You look like you just got slapped with a fish,” Mark said, and, to his credit, he looked somewhat concerned.
“I... Of course I love him,” she said. That was a safe answer. It was also true. She did love him. As a friend. And...she loved his body. And everything about him as a human being. Except for the fact that he was a man slut who would never settle down with any woman, much less her.
Why not you?
No. She was not thinking about this. She wasn’t thinking about any of this.
“Tell you what. If you’re still together at the gala, you get your money.”
“That isn’t fair. That isn’t what we agreed on.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I know. But I also didn’t expect you to grab your best friend and have him be your date. That still seems suspicious to me, regardless of...purchases.”
“You didn’t put any specifications on the bet, Mark. You can’t change the rules now.”
“We didn’t put any specifications on it saying I couldn’t.”
“Why do you care?”
He snorted. “Why do you care?”
“I have pride, jackass.”
“And I don’t trust Chase McCormack. If you’re still together at the gala, you get your money. And if he hurts you in any way, I will break his neck. After I pull his balls off and feed them to the sharks.”
It wasn’t very often that Mark’s protective side was on display. Usually, he was too busy tormenting her. Their childhood had been rough. Their father didn’t have any idea how to show affection to them, and as a result none of them were very good at it, either. Still, she never doubted that—even when he was a jerk—Mark cared about her.