“Shit,” I whisper under my breath.
My impulse decisions have been getting the best of me lately. That thought reminds me of Ade, and my smile drops. It doesn’t drop because he doesn’t make me happy—very much the opposite—it drops because after it all, I never told him that I loved him back, even though I obviously do. I can’t have him, though, it wouldn’t be fair to lead him on to thinking I can live the type of life that he lives. I’m just not that girl. I’m not strong, sassy, or badass like Alaina and Vicky. I’m introverted, quiet, and reserved. I hate confrontation, and I’m always worried about how people might perceive me. I’m the complete opposite of what any man in an MC club will ever want.
Ade Nixon, how can one man be so many kinds of difficult. How can I love such a complication of a man? That’s why I need to do this, why I need to test it out. Dominic Abrahams is the type of man I should be with, and I owe it to myself to try.
I realize I have been standing in the same position since Dom left so I turn around, pick up my water bottle from the table next to the treadmill and make my way back home.
Walking in the door, I head straight for the shower. Turning on the faucet, while I stand there waiting for the water to heat up. I’m excited about tonight, but there’s a part of me that feels empty. It’s a big part. It’s the part that likes bad boys who have tattoos, ride bikes, and have something called a Jacobs Ladder on their penis.
“I’m fucked,” I mumble.
I need to forget Ade Nixon and all his out-of-this-world beauty. Dominic is magnificent looking, and any other girl would be leaping at the opportunity to have a date with him. He gets hit on daily. Almost every woman he talks to will be twisting her hair in her fingers, or biting her lip at him trying to gain his attention. Dom’s not like that, though. He’s selective on who he beds, I’ve noticed that over all the years that I’ve known him.
He’s always discreet and professional.
Complete opposite to Ade.
I need to stop thinking of Ade because it’s becoming more of a problem. Maybe that can be mine and Dr. Oswald’s next issue to work on—How to stop thinking about ex-lovers. I’m pretty sure you could write a book covering that particular topic.
Yeah, I doubt anyone could help me with that. I pour some shampoo into my hand and lather it into my hair before following the same routine with the conditioner. After I’m done washing, I turn off the shower and grab my towel that’s hanging over the shower door, wrapping it around me and walking back to my room. I shut the door behind me and look into my wardrobe. I walk in and turn my light on as I start to rummage through all my clothes, trying to find something to wear. He didn’t say where we were going for dinner, so I don’t know how to dress.
“Shit,” I mumble.
I walk back into my room and pick up my phone from the bed. I scroll down to Dom’s name and press the send a message button.
Me: You didn’t tell me where you were taking me. #wardrobedilemma
I cannot believe I just hashtagged in a text message. Nice Kalie, showing how much of a loser you are already. This relationship won’t last.
Dominic: It’s a surprise. Dress how you want. You’re perfect.
Smiling at the words of his text message, I realize he didn’t give me an answer. I’m just going to have to take a chance and play roulette with my clothes. I walk back into my wardrobe and carry on with my rummaging. I stop at a black dress. It’s tight without being too tight, and it’s plain—but plain is safe. I can match it with my nude pumps and it’ll be a perfectly plain combination.
That’s what he gets for being cryptic.
After I comb out my hair, straightening it out, and leaving it in little curls at the ends. I put on a light smudge of eyeshadow, some blush, red lipgloss and I’m ready. Standing in front of the mirror for a few seconds, I look at myself. Yep, I look good, but deep down there’s a part of me that wishes I was dressing up for Ade. Where Dominic is sweet and gentle, Ade is rough, raw, and knows when not to be gentle. He was different with me, though, that much I know. He was an asshole to the world, but a gentleman to his girl. He’s a beautifully flawed soul though and I have no doubt he’s fighting his own demons. There’s also a huge part of me that wants to fight them with him. I wanted to be his. He made me feel more than special, he made me feel, magical.
I sigh, looking down at my shoes before sitting on my bed. A knock sounds at my door.
“Come in,” I say, trying to hide my sadness.
Phoebe pokes her head around my door with a smile. That is until she sees the look I’m pulling. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she asks, shutting my door behind her.