Taint(65)

“No.” I’m on my feet, fists balled at my sides.

“No? Justice, did you hear what I just said? We breached contract. You will lose everything if you don’t fix this shit right now. Send the women home, refund their money, and disappear before someone reveals your identity.”

“I don’t give a fuck. I can’t let her… I’m not ready to. I can’t send them back yet. I’m not done.”

“Jesus Christ! Listen to yourself!” she says throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I can’t represent you if you don’t listen to me. We still have time to fix this if we act now. It’s not like you’re actually fucking any of these women.”

My eyes pierce hers reflexively, wide with guilt. Or fear. Or maybe a mixture of both. She reads my expression like the back of a cereal box.

“Holy fuck, you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t, Justice. Tell me right this fucking minute!”

“Heidi, it’s not like that…” I croak. But it doesn’t sound convincing even to my ears. Apparently, Heidi doesn’t buy it either.

“I can’t believe you. I knew it. I knew it. Since the last time we spoke. I just didn’t want to believe that you would ever be so careless. You of all people, with your rules and control or anonymity. You would never do something so stupid.”

“I can fix this.”

“You can’t do shit. Who is she, Justice? Which one is it? Maybe there’s still a way to salvage this mess. If I know who she is, we know how much to offer for her silence.”

I stay quiet. Partly because I won’t betray Ally like that, and partly because I’m too much of a coward to tell her that I don’t want to fix this. Now that the secret is out, I can breathe. I don’t have to hide who I am anymore. I don’t have to hide how I feel.

“Name, Justice. Now.”

I look up at Heidi, feeling like this is the beginning of the end. As much as I try to fight it, I know it’s over. I know that the sun has set on Ally and me.

“We can’t pay her off. She’s not for sale.”

Heidi raises a meticulously arched brow. “Everyone is for sale, Justice. You should know that better than anyone.”

“Well, she’s not. Not Ally.”

“Ally? As in Allison Elliot-Carr? The Allison Elliot-Carr? For fuck’s sake, Justice, why did you have to diddle the richest bitch here? You’re right; there’s nothing you can offer her that she doesn’t already have probably stashed in her coin purse.”

“Like I said, it’s not like that. She wouldn’t take it anyway.”

“And how would you know? Are you two supposed to be in love or something? Do you think, even for one second, that she would leave her life of excess and luxury for one with you? She has Evan, Mr. Sexiest Man Alive according to People magazine. Even Oprah would hit that. No offense, Justice, but what would she want with you?”

I don’t answer, because I don’t have one. Heidi is right. Compared to Evan, I’m a pauper on paper. And that’s never really bothered me…until now.

The television screen flashes with the words “Breaking News” scrolling at the bottom. Heidi turns up the volume just as Giuliana Rancic begins her diatribe.



“The media is buzzing after it has been revealed that an unidentified man, known as Justice Drake, is actually the sex therapist to the starlets. And apparently, he has some high profile clients. It’s been confirmed that earlier reports placing Allison Elliot-Carr, wife of Evan Carr, at an exclusive spa were indeed false, and that she has been at an undisclosed location with this celeb sexpert. When we reached out to the Carr camp for questioning, they replied, “No Comment.” The question now is, did Evan Carr actually hire a man to sleep with his wife in order to make her a better lover? Stay tuned for more on this story…”



I switch off the TV. I don’t need to hear anymore.

“You see?” Heidi says, gesturing towards the blank screen. “Bits and pieces are falling into place. And now they have the Carrs involved? This is bad, Justice. Even you have to admit that.”

“I know.” My head is in my hands, rubbing my temples.

“Let them go. You can start over somewhere else, get a new alias, new staff. It’s best to get out now before you’re forced to.”

I look at Heidi, but all I can see is Ally. All I can see are those sad eyes smiling at me for the last time. She’d go to her corner of the world, and I’d stay safely tucked away in mine.

“I can’t,” I whisper, and I know in that moment, that I will. I can’t keep her. The mirage is just that—something so beautiful and desired, it can’t possibly be real.