I think the bigger question is, How can I not?
There’s no doubt that I want to be with Ally. I knew it the day I knocked on the door to her suite. It wasn’t those walls closing in on me; it was fate. And if Ally is my fate, losing her—being without every quirk that makes her so uniquely flawless—will be fatal to me. And that’s what terrifies me more than I could ever admit.
So if all we have is now, I’m going to make her remember. I’m going to become a permanent stain on her body that she’ll never be able to wash away. And when she closes her eyes and squeezes her thighs together, I’m going to ensure that she’s imagining me here. Like this. Setting off fireworks within her slick, sweltering heat, like the 4th of July.
Ally cries out with her release, cursing me and praising my name, as she crumbles in my hands. And, just as I promised, I suck and lap up every drop of wetness seeping from her pulsing sex, prolonging the violent waves of climax. She begs me to stop, but I don’t. She only thinks she’s dying right now, as I lick the stray droplets running down her ass. Little does she know, that I claimed her life the moment she broke inside my palm against the shower wall.
That was the very second she became mine, no matter whose last name she bears. And every time she came thereafter, I was just marking myself deeper and deeper into her skin like a tattoo. Carving out a space that would only be for me.
Justice + Ally.
“CALL IN SICK tomorrow.”
I grin sleepily and kiss her forehead. “It’s already tomorrow.”
“Then call in sick today.”
“I never call in sick, even if I’m sick.”
“Please? I don’t know…I don’t know how long I can have you like this. I’m not ready to let it go.”
I squeeze her body into mine, and breathe her in. I just want to memorize this moment. Her scent, her taste, her softness. I want it burned into my mind like a tumor, growing and influencing every thought and action.
Ally kisses my bare chest, her lips so warm and delicate, like the brush of a feather. “Please?”
One arm still tucked under her body, I reach over to grab my phone. “There,” I say after tapping out a text to Diane. “I’m sick today. So sick. I wonder if someone will nurse me back to health.”
I feel Ally smile against my nipple. “Are you asking me to play Naughty Nurse, Mr. Drake?”
“I don’t know. Are you down for some sexual healing?”
She kisses me again. “Most definitely. But later, ok? I really do want to talk to you.”
I roll my body towards her and position my arm, so she can rest her head on my bicep. “About what?”
“About…” Her gaze goes glassy and distant. “Next.”
“Next?”
“What’s next?”
I swallow and take a few breaths to collect my thoughts. I can’t ask this woman to leave her husband. I can’t tell her to ruin her lavish lifestyle in exchange for one of refuge and isolation. This isn’t what she knows. Financially, I could give Ally whatever she wants, but socially? She’d be like me. An outcast. A fallen star that once shined brighter than a million diamonds.
I can’t be certain a life with me would be enough for her. I can’t be certain that even I would be enough for her.
“What do you want to be next, Ally?” I hold my breath.
Her eyes sweep over my lips, my chin, my neck then back up to my face. “I don’t know. The future is scary. I just know that I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been so out of control and reckless and totally wrapped up in a person...ever. But then again, what if all this is just a temporary high? What if the taboo of it all is what’s driving us together?”
I brush her cheek, just so I can keep touching her. I need to remind myself that she’s here. Here with me. Not him. “Is that what you think this could be?”
“Honestly? No. But I’ve been wrong before. And that’s cost me my freedom. Walking away without repercussion isn’t an option for me. My life would come crashing down.”
I stay silent, because anything I could say would just be static. She’s right. She can’t just walk away. No matter what Evan does to her, no matter what he does with his little weasel prick, Ally has to play her role. The supportive, loving wife. Strong, resilient and tolerant. A perfect picture of grace and elegance.
“Justice?”
I smile through the infection of my thoughts, feeling them seep into my conscience. “Yeah?”
“Do you want me to walk away? Do you want me to leave him?”
My lips part, the answer burning my tongue. I swallow it down before answering. “I want you to do what makes you happy.”