We sit there in a comfortable silence for a while as he just holds me, making me feel as though this is more than it ever will be. It’s comforting and depressing at the same time, but I try to push it out of my mind.
“So, I have a question,” he murmurs softly while kissing the top of my head.
“Mm?”
“Since Kinset has an incredible website now, I’m not far from launching the business. That being said, I also need a date to the launch party. Will you go with me?”
I smile, unable to hide the girly side of me as I giggle a little.
“Well, it would look bad for you to be living with your child’s mother and yet take another girl to the launch, so… hmm… I guess I’ll go.”
I expect him to laugh, but he’s silent as his fingers continue to play with mine. I look up to see a faint smile on his lips as he stares at my hand.
“I want you to go as more than just my child’s mother, Ash.”
My heart stops. I knew this would happen. Shit. No.
“What do you mean?” I ask, swallowing hard.
His eyes move to mine, and he leans back to better stare at me.
“I want this to be more. I want a real, committed relationship.”
I want to cry, but I hold back the fierce flood. Why is he doing this to me?
“No,” I say casually while rolling out of bed to find my clothes.
“No?” he repeats, a little wounded and stunned.
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
***
Tag
I’m not giving up this time. I’m sick of the games, the push and shove, and the bullshit. I love her, and I want her, damn it. I know she wants to be with me, so why is she being like this?
“Because you’re not that guy, Tag. You don’t even understand what a committed relationship is.”
That stings a little.
“I understand perfectly well what it means or I wouldn’t be asking you to be with me.”
“No,” she says again, tears swelling in her eyes as she pulls on her shirt quickly before tugging her shorts into place. “You’re doing this because you think you have to. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me because of your son.”
“Ash I don’t feel obligated, I-”
“Tag, you do. I knew you would. I’m not going to take Trip away from you—ever. Eventually this stalker thing will be resolved, and we’ll move out, but you’ll have just as many rights as I do. Even on my weeks with him, you’ll be welcome to come over whenever you want. We can be the way you want to be when you want to be. You don’t have to do this. I won’t let you do this." She says it so calmly, but I can see the pain brewing behind her eyes.
In all my life, I’ve never known anyone to want to completely sacrifice everything for my happiness. She’s willing to bend over backwards.
“Ash,” I murmur while tugging at her arm. “I want this—us. I can and want to do this. I can be in a very committed relationship with you.”
Her eyes glaze over with tears, and then she shakes her head.
“Tag, you can’t. Being committed means being only with me. It means you can’t bring two dates to a wedding, pick up some random girl whose name you can’t remember five minutes later, or disappear into a dark room with a blond at a party. It means I’m it. I’m all you get. If we go down this road, it’ll ruin any friendship between us the second you forget.”
***
Ashiara
He can’t understand how badly this will crush me if it all goes to hell. He doesn’t know how to be committed.
“Ash, is it not rather obvious I’m already committed to you? I haven’t so much as kissed someone else since the day I met you. I had two dates when I saw you, and I sent them away because I had to have you. I brought some random chick to the benefit try to distract me, and I got slapped when I couldn’t stay away from you. The damn crazy bitch who drug me into the dark room was completely rebuffed. I fired my secretary for trying to seduce me because I can’t be with anyone but you. I hired a guy. A guy, Ash.”
Tears fall out as a small giggle escapes through my lips. He takes a step toward me and pulls my hands in his before backing back up to the bed and pulling me onto his lap.
“For the record, even my dick is committed. It won’t do anything for anyone but you, and I don’t mean that figuratively,” he jokes, and I laugh a little more while wiping tears from my eyes.
“Tag, this is such a big step. I don’t want you doing it for all the wrong reasons.”
His hand slides around my waist, and then he kisses me lightly before pulling back and putting his forehead against mine.