“Of course not,” I tell Clarice, trying to soothe her ruffled feathers. Goddamn it. I need to get to Audra before she spends too much alone time with Lloyd. I don't want him to touch her, to feel that perfectly smooth skin, those ripe breasts, that silken mane of hair. I grit my teeth and release Clarice, cupping my crotch tight with my right hand. “Look what you do to me,” I lie, letting Clarice see the massive bulge in my slacks. “Of course I'd rather have you than Audra, but she saw me kill Mark. I'm indebted to her. I have to do what she asks.”
I allow Clarice to feel me up, but just for a moment. I take her hands in mine and pretend to caress them. In reality, I'm imagining what it would feel like to snap the bones inside to pieces.
“If we can get her to go through with this, it'll all be evened out. You, me, Audra. We'll all have dirt on one another.”
It's a lame lie, but it's all I can come up with on such short notice. My brain has been electrified and my heart is beating so loud I can barely hear the rush of traffic from the nearby highway. Such finesse, Lucas Carter. You used to have such finesse. I allow my demons to mock me. Why not? I'm making a fool of myself in my frenzy. Somehow, I get the feeling this isn't going to turn out well for anyone.
Clarice stares at me for a moment, but I can't decide if she's bought the lie or not. When she leans in towards me, kissing my frozen lips with desire and darkness, I feel a spark of strange, macabre, blood tinged hope.
“Let's go.” I try to pull her along, but she remains still, locked in a single spot on the dirty sidewalk. My anxiety climbs up a notch. If this keeps up, I'm going to lose my patience. In the state I'm in now, that would mean a very, very nasty ending for Clarice.
“Why do I have to go?” she asks, tilting her head to the side. Her pupils are dilated, her lips slightly parted. “Why can't Audra and you do this together? Then, once you're free, we can do whatever we want. Mr. Braxton doesn't give a shit about me. As long as I fuck him every now and again, hang off of his arm at cocktail parties, that's all that matters.”
“Clarice,” I say, and I let the truth bleed into my words. “I can't do this without you.”
“You mean, you can't escape me if I don't do it with you. Is that it?”
My head begins to spin, the world shifting and shaking around me. So many things are happening to me right now that it's hard to think. The weak pledges I made to myself not an hour ago? Gone. I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't have time for this. I tell myself it's just my worry for Audra that's egging me on, but I know that isn't entirely true. Lloyd. Having him so close is making me sick to my stomach, stealing away my resolve. Once again, Audra Holiday has figured out how to surprise and disarm me.
I snap from my thoughts in time to see Clarice pulling her cellphone out of the white, glittery clutch she's been carrying around. I don't know who she intends to dial, and I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter. In this moment, it doesn't fucking matter.
“I have to go, Clarice,” I tell her, backing up with my hands raised in surrender. “You do what you need to do, okay? You fucking call the cops if you want. Or … ” I reach down in a last ditch effort and unzip my pants, flashing my bare, erect cock to Clarice. “You can come with me and see for yourself.”
Clarice holds her phone in one hand, the light from the screen highlighting her surgically altered nose and cheekbones. She stares at my dick for a moment and then snaps a picture.
“You'll never be rid of me, Lucas, not until I want you to be.” She smiles as I zip up my slacks. “But here's what I'll do.” Clarice steps back, putting her body against a nearby fence, ass out. “Fuck me here. Now. Do it and I'll walk away, give you some time to think things through.”
I panic then. I don't know how it happens because, for nearly a decade, I haven't had the ability to panic, to let fear overtake me. Not since I met Robbie – or Audra maybe. My knife comes up, the blunt end out and I clutch it tight, swinging at the side of Clarice's head hard. When she collapses, I scoop her up in my arms and let her body sway with the movement of my sudden jog. To anyone watching, it might look as if the blonde is simply drunk. If the trickle of blood on the side of her head is a give away, well, good luck catching up.
I'm running as fast as I can, sprinting around the block and dropping Clarice to the ground next to the fence. It's only after I fling her comatose form into the dirt that I think to check for cameras. Fortunately, I don't see any. The shop is closed and boarded up and yes, while there is a possibility I might be missing a camera, I highly doubt it.
I take a breath, smooth my hands down my cheap tie, and reach up to grab the top of the rickety wooden fence.