“Baby, you don't know what you're saying.” Mr. Carrell stands up and turns his back on me, pleading with his daughter in a strained voice. He must sense the darkness inside of me. Most people can. It's what makes them squirm when we're alone in an elevator together. They can't know that I'm one of only a few like this that won't hurt them, not unless they pay for the privilege or they've done something to deserve it. “You've been brainwashed.”
“Dad, stop! Leave it alone and go home. I can't even believe you came over here.”
“Robbie,” I say, trying to cut through the tension on the porch. When she turns to look at me, her hair billows across her face, breaking up the brilliant blue sheen of her eyes, the determined set of her mouth. My erection only gets worse, and when he turns around, Mr. Carrell seems almost as aware of it as I am.
“I should have you arrested,” he snarls, nearly foaming at the mouth. I try to keep my calm, but when Robbie's around, I can't seem to do it. That sharp spike of fear cuts into my heart again, and I have to wonder if that's really a good thing. Why should I want to be afraid? So I can be broken again? So I can suffer the way I did when Aliyah was killed? I stare at Robbie, and I try to make her not matter, to relegate her back to the generic neighbor that she was before. I can't do it.
I squeeze my fists at my sides.
“Not something you're capable of,” I snap back. “Considering I haven't done anything illegal.”
“Except lie to the cops,” Mr. Carrell – whose first name I can't remember for the life of me – snaps back. I keep my eyes on Robbie, her hair flickering around her face, hands shaking at her sides.
“And so essentially none of your damn business,” I bark back, knowing now that I have to take Audra up on her suggestion. I'm too angry, too riled up, and if I don't want to explode and tear Mr. Carrell's face off, I have to promise the demons blood. “Now get off my porch and go home before it becomes my turn to call the police.”
“You are fucking sick, do you hear me? And whether or not you've done anything illegal doesn't matter. As soon as this neighborhood finds out what you've done, you're gone. We won't stand for having a predator at our backs waiting to prey on young girls.”
“That's enough!” Robbie screeches, clenching her fists tight and moving up the steps to stand next to me. “Dad, Luke saved me. I was drunk off my ass, and Jules was trying to have sex with me, even though I said no. He was halfway done unbuckling his jeans when Luke showed up.”
Her dad's face registers absolutely zero belief in this statement.
“You're right, Robbie. That is enough. Let's go.”
“I want to talk to Luke for a second.”
“Like hell you will.” Mr. Carrell grabs his daughter's wrist a split second before I grab his and pry it off, shoving him back to stumble against the ivy covered trellis I love so Goddamn much. What the fuck are you doing, you idiot? This won't end well for any of you. Swallow your pride, say goodbye to Robbie, and move on.
“If she wants to speak with me, I'm inclined to listen.”
Mr. Carrell goes white as a sheet, raising his hands as if in surrender. But I can see the expression on his face. It's anything but. The word war trumpets in the set of his lips, the pinch of his brows, the flicker of rage in his eyes.
“You know what, Roberta, you are eighteen and technically, you are an adult. Here's what I'm going to do. You talk to Mr. Carter all you want, and when you're done, you make a decision.”
“Dad … ”
“Him or me. That's it, the real world, princess. I've tried to shield you from it, but if you insist on ignoring me, on doing … whatever it is you're doing with this guy then so be it.” He pauses and some of the anger leaves his face, leaving room for a gentle softness I never saw in my father. My fists unclench and I step back into the house, making myself invisible behind the curtains of the front window. In my heart of hearts, I want Robbie to pick her father. In the selfish inner depths where the demon resides, I want Robbie to pick me. Logically, I know there is no picking me, that I can't be a … boyfriend or whatever else Robbie wants or needs me to be. And I won't separate a family. It would be against the very nature of my darkness.
“Honey,” I hear Mr. Carrell begin. I can imagine him putting his hands on Robbie's shoulders, looking deep into her eyes. “I love you, and I try to do right by you, but I can't sit by and watch you ruin your life.” He pauses and I hear Robbie begin to speak. “No. Listen to me. Don't feed me lies. You've been acting different this past week and trust me, I know you weren't up in your room all day yesterday. I get it, baby. Lucas is tall, he's handsome, he's well-spoken, but that's not what's important in life. Find someone your own age to fall in and out of love with, not someone like this. He's had his chance at life, Robbie. It's time for you to have yours.”