“Robbie?” I ask, sliding gently out of her. It's only then that I see the blood. Virgin. Roberta Carrell is a virgin. Of course she is. Or … was. “Robbie?” I ask again because I'm not sure what else to say. I don't feel like Lucas Carter standing in that kitchen, a pretty girl still partially wrapped around me.
I feel like fucking Luke.
“It's okay,” she tells me, untangling her fingers from around my neck and pressing her palms against my chest. Robbie lets out a sniffling laugh and raises her baggy sleeve to her face to wipe away the tears. “I'm not upset. It just … hurt a little more than I thought it would.”
I'm rendered completely and utterly speechless. What have I done?
“I'm sorry,” I tell her, feeling simultaneously elated and disgusted with myself. I stand up straight and set Robbie back, dropping down to retrieve my pants. After tucking myself away, I hand her her shorts. “I shouldn't have done that.”
“But you did,” Robbie says, sliding off the counter with a small wince and dropping her sweater to cover her bare ass. “And I'm glad. It hurt, but it still felt good … ” She trails off as a knock comes at the door. My heart starts to pound a fierce and heavy rhythm. Fear. The beast responds with a snarl of rage that makes Robbie blink in surprise.
“Who the fuck is that?” I growl, glancing over my shoulder. I wave my hand dismissively. I'm not expecting anyone, so why bother to answer it? Because it could be Audra Holiday. Hmm.
“Listen, Luke, don't beat yourself up about this. If I didn't want it, I would've said something.” She tries to smile at me, but the look is tinged with a shy curiosity that I don't know what to do with. “There's a reason I didn't wear panties today.”
“Jesus, Robbie,” I whisper because my blood gets hot and my dick stiffens at her statement. I run a hand through my dark hair, well aware that the knocking at my door has increased in fervor.
“I hope that's not my dad,” Robbie says absently. My gaze locks on hers as she raises her hands and tries to smile again. “I mean, it's probably not. Nobody knows I came over here. I walked out into the street and around the radius of the security cameras.”
“Listen,” I start, but the rest of the words die in my mouth. I should tell Robbie I've had my fill of her, that she wasn't as good as I thought she'd be. That'd be sure to send her running for good. But I can't do it. I'm a selfish fucking man. Selfish. I don't want Robbie Carrell to leave. Goddamn it. “Let me check the peephole.” It's the only thing I can think of to break up the moment, to grab a second to gather myself. The darkness is inside of me still, no doubt. But pushing it back and ignoring it seems too easy at this moment, like I could forever push it aside with little or no relapse. Is this Robbie's doing? But how? Because I fucked her? That's ridiculous. Sex isn't a cure all. It can be a powerful tool, but one fuck isn't going to fix me overnight.
I scowl as I lean forward and check the peephole. It's Audra Holiday. Obviously. Because one of the last people I need here right now is her. I feel trapped between light and darkness, between Robbie and Audra, and I just need a goddamn moment to think. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I fish it out to find a text message.
I know you're fucking in there. Answer the goddamn door.
“Where the hell were you yesterday?” I growl out, turning away from the door to find Robbie standing in the entrance to the living room. Her shorts are draped over her arm and her legs are pressed firmly together.
“Is that your fiancée?” she asks tentatively, but not like she's upset, almost as if she's already accepted the fact that I was telling the truth. For the first time in almost a decade, I feel badly about something.
“It's not,” I say, leaning my back against the door. “It's just an overzealous client.” Robbie nods and glances nervously down my hallway.
“I was wondering if it might be okay if I took a quick shower?” She takes in a massive breath, as if she needs to interrupt the no she was certain I was going to throw out there. “There's some blood and – ”
“Of course,” I say, hearing a warmness in my voice that I don't understand. The sound only serves to infuriate me further. I hide the emotion from Robbie behind a fake smile, letting the rage simmer in Audra's direction. She's a tough woman; she can handle it. Robbie, I'm not so sure of. “Take your time. Towels are in the cabinet opposite the sink.” Robbie nods at me and disappears into the bathroom. I wait until I hear the fan and the shower going before I bother opening the front door.
“Are you fucking stupid? I could hear you in here, you know.” Audra steps into my house wearing white patent heels – I do my best not to gag – and a blue dress bedazzled to within an inch of its life. She's still beautiful, of course, and her red hair really does look nice against the blue, but the whole outfit is a disaster. I curl my lip at her. “Are you with a client?” she asks, pointing at the bathroom door.