Taboo Unchained(34)
“I don't know anything about cops or murders or strip clubs.” Audra runs her pale fingers through her red hair. I try not to admire the way it shimmers like rubies in the morning sunlight, but I can't help it. I'm drawn to this woman even as I'm repulsed. A dangerous set of circumstances. I consider cutting her off again, but my cock continues to try to convince me otherwise. “Apparently, though, you do. You've killed before, haven't you?” I don't answer, just focus all of my concentration on digging. Surprisingly, it's making me feel better. My frustration leaks out with each violent thrust of the shovel. The beast doesn't like manual labor or exercise because it forces him back into the shadows. I smile.
“So what if I have? Does the idea interest you?” Audra stares at me, green eyes sparkling with questions. She licks her lips and walks a few paces away, peering around some trees and then spinning back to face me. After a moment, she reaches down and slips off her heels, letting her bare white toes gleam in the patchy green and brown earth. I have a thing for bare feet, and feel my body respond accordingly.
“Well,” Audra begins, sitting down cross-legged on the ground. Her pussy becomes the elephant in the room, and I can't seem to stop staring. I can tell she knows it, too, and I scowl at her. “I'm not sure. I mean, I didn't intend to kill Mark. It just … happened.”
“The darkness,” I say, not in the mood to explain any further. The wet red curls between her legs send a flurry of testosterone through my body, and I dig faster. Audra sighs, exhaustion evident in her shuddering intake of breath. She uncrosses her legs and straightens them, leaning forward and running her fingers down her bare calves until she's touching her ankles.
“Is that what you call it?” she asks, and I get the strong impression she's finally starting to understand what I'm all about. “This … insatiable urge to just … I don't know … ” Audra moans and leans back, lying flat on the ground. I've never seen a woman who behaves like she does, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Dangerous, Lucas. She's incredibly dangerous. My dick remains rigid in my slacks.
“It's hard to describe, isn't it?” I ask, examining the width and length of the hole. That's about right. Now, the difficult part is digging it deep enough to keep the corpse contained. Two feet would be preferable, if I can manage. I may have to settle for eighteen inches. “Demons, darkness, blackness, beasts. Call it whatever you want, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's this very essence that makes us different from everyone else.”
“But you can control it?” Audra asks, and I hate how skeptical her voice sounds. I haven't been doing a very good job of controlling the beast when I'm around her. I wonder if I should tell her that? But no. There's no reason to give her more power over me. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to simply prove what I know to be true.
“I can, and I can help you control it as well.” I stick the shovel in the dirt and wipe a hand across my face. I try not to look at the sweat on my knuckles. Filthy. I can barely stand the idea of dirt under my fingernails. “Did you think I was being poetic when I told you I can turn this feeling, this darkness, into something magical? Something you relish instead of despise?”
“Who says I despise it?” Audra whispers, and my own skin breaks out in goose bumps. She sits up on her elbows and looks at me. I let her gaze catch mine but only for a second before I pick up the shovel and start digging again. All around us, the birds are coming back to life, sensing the temporary retreat of the beast. Their songs annoy me, full of cheer and simplicity, echoes of lives too base to understand the complexities of my thoughts. “Do you teach people to get rid of it, too?”
“It depends,” I say as a shaft of yellow light cuts across my hole. Fucking sun. “For some people, I can help them tease it out, let it burn in the light. I absorb their pain. At least temporarily. I'm not entirely convinced that it'll stay gone forever. Some demons are born and others are made. It's always possible to acquire new ones.”
“Why absorb it?” Audra asks, her question hitting me like a ton of bricks. For the umpteenth time I'm being forced to recall memories I don't want to relive. “Why would you want anymore of this inside of you?” She sits up all the way and spreads her fingers wide. “It's hard enough to control what's already there.”
“My demon is permanent. He can't be fought off or burnt away. I'll always know why he's there and what price I paid for him. I may as well absorb the darkness from others. Why not?” I look up at Audra and smile wickedly, letting the beast's voice ooze from my lips. “After all, I've found a way to enjoy what I am. Sex. Violence. Both. I like it, and I've learned how to live with it. It's easier than learning to live without her.” I freeze, my entire body going stiff. Audra's kelp green eyes stay focused on mine, trying to bore into my skull with laser focus. But no. No. Nobody gets to hear about Aliyah. Her memory is mine and mine alone. “Take the car back to the house, go inside and up the stairs. The room where Mrs. Braxton better damn well be is to the right, down the hallway and inside a hideous gilded gold door with cherubs engraved on the surface.” My mouth curls. “Entertain her for me while I finish up here.”