“You know the answer to that,” Fiona whispered, feeling the shameful burn of tears begin to press at the backs of her eyes.
“Oh, please, don’t pull that card,” Carl said, shaking his head at her. “You can’t just use that as an excuse every time we get into an argument!”
“It’s not an excuse!” Fiona yelled. “It’s not a fucking excuse! It’s my fucking life!” Humiliatingly, she felt tears pool into her eyes, but she blinked them back, hopefully before Carl could see them. “It’s a part of me, Carl! A huge fucking part that will never go away no matter how hard you pretend otherwise.”
“Oh, I can’t deal with you right now. You’re being ridiculous,” Carl said, rolling his eyes.
Fiona shook her head at him. “Yeah? You can’t deal? Well, deal with this,” she challenged as she turned out her heel, heading for the door.
“Where are you going? Come back here! Don’t leave this hotel room, Fiona!”
“I don’t want to deal with you right now,” Fiona said, continuing to walk towards the door.
“Stop, Fiona! Stop walking right now. Don’t you dare walk out that door.” Fiona paused for a minute, her hand on the knob of the door. “You’re going to him, aren’t you? To Gage?”
“I don’t know where I’m going,” Fiona answered honestly, with her back still turned to Carl.
“You better not, Fiona. You better not see him ever again. You listening to me? I don’t want you working on that case. I don’t want you seeing him. He’s bad for you, you hear me? He’s fucking you up. He’s making you sick,” he said.
Fiona scoffed, even though the words stung her like a shot to the back. “Whatever,” she muttered, opening the door and setting off down the highway at a brisk pace.
By the time she reached the elevator and got down to the first level of the hotel, her phone rang, making her jump. She didn’t know why she was so on edge, exactly, but she was exhausted of her own weakness. If there was ever a time that she needed to be strong, it was now.
She pulled out her phone. It was Gage.
“Hello?” she answered into the phone as she walked out into the bitterly cold night, hugging her sweater closer to her chest to preserve as much of her body’s warmth as possible.
“Fiona,” Gage half-slurred into her ear. “Fiona, I need you.”
“Are you drunk?” she asked. She could definitely detect the influence of alcohol on his speech. She knew him too well, still able to detect when he wasn’t completely sober.
“No, I took a nap. Just a little hung-over now,” he muttered on the other end of the phone.
“What’s up?” she asked, pacing quickly in an attempt to get her blood rushing faster, trying to get warmer despite the wind breaking against her face.
“The girls, Fi,” Gage practically whispered before clearing his throat. “The girls,” he repeated. “They need us. We can’t give up. I know you’re getting married. I know you’re gone. Forever. But the girls…”
“I know,” Fiona said, her voice coming out more reassuring and soft than she had intended. “I know. I’m not giving up. I was never going to give up. Do you really believe in me that little?”
Gage laughed a little on the other end, but Fiona could tell that it wasn’t genuine. “I know, I know,” he said. “I should trust you more. You’re tough. Toughest person I know.”
“I don’t know about that,” Fiona muttered, thinking back on her argument with Carl even as she got further away from the hotel.
“I do,” Gage said softly, almost inaudibly under the howl of the wind in Fiona’s ears.
“Listen, we should meet up,” Fiona said. “Tonight. We have no time to waste. I’m sorry…I’m sorry about what happened before. With Carl. It’s just something I had to deal with, but it’s a distraction, and it can wait. I’ll deal with him after we solve the case.”
“Alright,” Gage agreed. “I’m at home. Do you want me to meet you anywhere?”
“No, I’ll head there now,” Fiona said. “Go back to sleep. I’ll let myself in. You keep the spare key under the mat, right? I’ll be right in, like twenty minutes from now. Just nap, okay? You need it.” Especially after the fucking we did earlier, she added silently.
Gage murmured something, but Fiona couldn’t quite make it out. A second later, his breathing changed, deepening as he slipped off into sleep. Fiona couldn’t suppress a slight smile as she lowered her phone back to her pocket, picturing Gage’s peaceful face as he slept.