Even still, he knew that he had to keep up appearances, despite what his body wanted to do. If Fiona knew that he still had feelings for her, she’d flee. He knew she would. She was a survivor, through and through, and sometimes, that meant that when things got dangerous, she ran away. It wasn’t like he could blame her, not really. She was in a relationship now, after all. Gage hadn’t expected that. When he’d first e-mailed her, he assumed that she was living somewhere alone, just like him. It stung, knowing that she was able to “move on” so quickly. No matter how many women Gage bedded over the past several months, he couldn’t get Fiona out of his mind, not even for a second. It really hurt to know that the opposite wasn’t true for her.
For now, at least, he smiled at her, giving her the big megawatt grin that always made her melt. He still knew how she operated, even after all this time. She was still the same Fiona, despite everything. She smiled back for a second before it fell from her face. Gage figured she hadn’t meant to smile at him, but it just came naturally. That’s the way things always worked with them. They never had to force their feelings for each other. I wonder if it’s the same for her and this new guy, he couldn’t help but think.
He was tempted to ask her about her fiancé, but instead, he found another way to keep the conversation going, even though the silence that fell between them as they ate was far from uncomfortable. It was almost nice, sitting with her in the quiet the way they used to. But it was a little too familiar; it might scare Fiona off again if he wasn’t careful. Better to focus on the case for now. “So, um, the girl whose parents hired me, Tori Greenwood… She’s only been gone for a week now, but The Knife left his symbol in her room for her parents to find. It’s him.”
“He wants the attention,” Fiona said, flipping her fork between her fingers like it was a coin. It was hard for her to sit still, Gage knew, when her brain was working overtime the way it had been tonight. But it wasn’t done yet. He still needed to get more information out of her if they were going to solve this case in time to save Tori and the other girl. “But instead of leaving a sign for the cops…he does it for the parents? He wants to hurt people. The pain is important to him.”
“Go on,” Gage prompted her, pulling out a pen and a notepad from his pocket to keep track of her thoughts.
“It’s personal. He…he must have chosen her specifically, targeted all of them for some reason,” Fiona said, a little line appearing between her eyebrows as she concentrated. Gage loved that line. In the past, whenever she was too focused on a case, obsessing over the details, he’d lean in and kiss her right in between her eyes to smooth the tension away. Most of the time, it didn’t work. Fiona’s anxious energy defeated any and all foes, but he liked doing it anyway, trying anything to help her relax.
“I’ve got her diary,” Gage said, getting up from his seat to go dig through his evidence cabinet. “Tori’s, I mean. I waited to read through it until you were here. I figured you’d have a better sense of what was normal and what wasn’t, having been a teenage girl yourself.”
Fiona nodded and accepted the small, thin book from Gage’s hands. This time, their fingers did not brush up against each other at all, and Gage felt a pang of disappointment as a result. As Fiona flipped the book open and began to read, Gage walked over to her side of the table, keeping safe distance but still staying close enough so that he could read over her shoulder, even though she spoke the words aloud. “Dear Diary,” Fiona began, moving her finger across the page as if she could feel Tori’s energy through the marks of her bright red pen. “Today, school was so interesting! I learned about sine, cosine, and tangents. I’m really good at math. Mom always said that I would be, but Dad thought that my brother George is smarter than me. That just shows what he knows. Nothing. One day Mom will dump his ass and then it’ll just be the two of us, forever.” Fiona stopped reading to clear her throat before flipping over to the next page. “Dear Diary, I want to apologize for how I talked about Dad last time. He was the one who bought you for me anyway. He just makes me so mad sometimes because he thinks I am stupid just because I get bad grades in science and history. They’re boring! It’s not my fault! I always do my homework and study, but sometimes it’s just not good enough. Oh, well. I’m sorry, Dad, that I talked badly about you even though you can’t see it. I love you.” Fiona paused, putting the book down on the table next to her now-empty plate. “Jesus Christ,” she murmured, leaning her head onto the palm of her hand. “Fuck.”