THRUST(58)

Tori scrunches her face, finally understanding what I’m getting at. “Oh crap, honey. I didn’t think about that.” Standing from the couch, she rushes into the kitchen and starts pouring us some wine. “What are you going to do about Hunter? You can’t seriously have feelings for that cocky asshat.”

“I don’t.” I sit up and grab the wine glass, holding it to my lips as I think. There’s only one thing I can do and the thought of it doesn’t bother me one bit. “Stop having sex with Hunter, thank him for the good time, and then move on.” I take a sip and set the glass down. This is the part that bothers me, the hard part. “And tell Kyan how I feel. I don’t know if I can just have a sexual relationship with him anymore. I need more, Tori. With him . . . I need it all. I have to tell him before I let this go on too long and get hurt. I don’t think I can handle that.”

Tori takes a sip of her wine before pulling it away and running her fingers over the rim of the glass. “I would give Kyan a few days to really let his feelings set in first and then talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he can’t do the whole relationship thing . . . then I guess you’ll have to decide if you can have any kind of relationship at all. If you can’t then there will be others. There will always be others.”

The problem with her words is that I don’t want others. I want Kyan and there’s a huge chance that might not happen. She’s right though. I’ll give him a few days and then I’m telling him how I truly feel. He’ll either feel the same way or I’ll get left out in the cold and go back to Fluffin’ my own muffin.

I just hope he’ll end up being the one fluffin’ it . . .





I STARE AT MY PHONE, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. It’s been three days since I dropped Calla off at her door and I haven’t stopped thinking about her since. It’s fucking eating at me not being next to her. Touching her and kissing her has given me a peace that I haven’t felt in years. I’m missing that feeling and I want nothing more than to have it back, but the more I think about her and the way she makes me feel . . . the more I think about my brother having her in the same way that I have. He’s been between those beautiful legs of hers, sucking, licking and tasting just as I have.

Whenever I close my eyes images of him fucking her torment me, driving me mad; him holding her legs open, thrusting between them, and making her scream as she comes. I fucking hate it. It makes me hate myself, because it’s my fault that it happened in the first place. I was too much of a pussy to allow myself to take her completely, because I knew there was a huge chance of me falling.

“What the fuck.” Tossing my phone aside, I grip my hair and hang my head between my legs. Hunter was supposed to be the solution not the fucking problem.

I should be able to give her everything she deserves. I should be able to sleep next to her every night, holding her and making her feel beautiful. The hardest part is that I know she wants it just as badly as I do. One look into her eyes and you can see that. I may be stupid sometimes, but I’m not blind.

Not even to my own broken heart . . .





TORI AND I ARE IN the middle of editing pictures from my sister’s wedding, but all I can think about is Kyan. I told myself that I would give him time and I was hoping that he would contact me, say hi, or ask me to come to a training session . . . anything, but he hasn’t. The thought kills me.

I haven’t spoken to Hunter either. I figured it was better to not see him for a while. Even if it is just to let him know that we can’t do this anymore. Whatever this is that we’ve been doing. The truth is that I won’t feel right seeing Hunter before seeing Kyan again. It somehow feels so wrong now.

Tori pulls up a picture of Kyan holding my face and looking into my eyes during my sister’s wedding. I hear her let out a little “awe” while placing her hand to her heart.

“This man cares for you, Calla. Look at the way he’s holding you. That’s not something that can be faked.”

Swallowing back my emotions, I take a close look at the picture, feeling my heart swell. He looks so loving holding me, that I get a little choked up.

“Next picture,” I say softly. “I need to focus on getting these done.”

Tori closes out of the folder and turns to look at me. “No, you don’t. What you need to focus on is letting that fine piece of man meat know how you feel. You and I both know that you won’t be able to function right until you do.”

I laugh, unable to help myself. “I so love your insanely, crazy ass.”