I refused to show up too long before the wedding, so I had Tori drop me off at the hotel and take the car so she could set up. My father picked me up about twenty minutes ago and I have been trying in every way possible to ensure I don’t run into Chrissy. I’m here. That’s enough for now. I’ll have to ease into the rest.
The ceremony is due to start in ten minutes, so I’m walking around by the water, waiting for everyone to take their seats. Of course, Chrissy reserved a special spot for me in the front row, so I have no choice but to sit there and feel awkward, especially since I won’t have Tori next to me.
I’ve gotten glimpses of Jordan from afar, but I’ve been trying to block that image from my head. That jerk doesn’t deserve my heartache. He meant everything to me. I loved him with everything in me and he promised me that he did in return. We met during my senior year and we became inseparable. I actually thought that he was the one; the one that I would start a family with and live happily ever fucking after with. Boy was I wrong . . . so wrong.
Walking in on Chrissy riding Jordan’s dick as if she needed it to survive will always burn in the back of my brain, ripping my heart out. That is an image that you never get rid of, no matter how many times you fight it. Trust me. I’ve tried and failed miserably. I mean who the fuck cheats on his girlfriend with her sister and then marries her?
“Hey, Calla . . . wait up.”
My heart skips a beat and I stand frozen on the spot at the familiar sound of Jordan’s voice. I haven’t heard it in years, and hearing it now almost feels as if no time has passed. The sound is like a knife twisting in my damn heart. I hate it!
I hear his footsteps behind me, before I feel his hand grab my arm. “Calla. Can I have a second? Please.”
Swallowing back my emotions, I pull my arm out of his reach and stiffen my arms at my sides. I don’t want his hands anywhere on me. The thought disgusts me. I can’t even look at him, so I give him my backside as I speak. “What do you want, Jordan? You’re getting married in less than ten minutes. No need to waste your time on me.”
“Calla . . .” He lets out a small breath and I feel his body almost touching me from behind, but he stops, not letting himself get too close. “I just want to thank you for coming. It means more to your sister than you could ever imagine. She was so afraid . . .”
I spin around and face him, cutting him off. “What, Jordan? Afraid that I wouldn’t come watch her happily ever after happen? The two people that meant the most to me in the world that betrayed and hurt me? Was she afraid that I wouldn’t suffer through it so I can see how happy and in love you two are? Huh? Is that what she was afraid of?” Seeing his face up close makes me feel nauseous.
His eyes widen and I see him swallow nervously as he looks behind me, over my shoulder. Good. Someone’s watching. I don’t care who the hell sees my little outburst. They can watch from afar, because I’ve been holding this in for years.
He takes a quick breath and releases it. “No. Calla. That’s not . . .”
“I gave you everything I had, all of me.” I point to my chest with my hand shaking. I’m so angry that it’s uncontrollable. I don’t want him to see the way it’s affecting me, but it can’t be stopped so fuck it. “I loved you, Jordan. I cherished you and listened to you . . . I took care of you. I did everything that I was supposed to do and it still wasn’t good enough for you. You ripped my fucking heart out and stomped on it, and with who . . . huh? The most important person in my life next to you, my sister. My fucking sister, Jordan. You did that to me. Not only did you rip my fucking heart out, but you also stole my family. That’s something you don’t come back from. You can’t just pretend it’s all okay just because two years has passed.”
His jaw clenches and his eyes look over my shoulder again, as he runs a hand through his short, blonde hair; his stupid, always perfect hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t take that back and neither can she. You think we meant for it to happen that way?”
“I don’t care. It should’ve never happened in the first place. If you two wanted to be together . . . then you should have told me. I loved you both enough that I would have backed off and gave you the space to figure it out, because that’s my character. What’s sad is that you know that, but instead you both betrayed my trust in the worst way possible. How do you expect me to trust my heart with anyone else after the two people I loved the most completely fucked it up by shredding it into a million pieces?” I tilt my head up to meet his brown eyes. “It still fucking hurts. Just thought you both should know.”