She found him standing on the balcony, looking out into the streets of Dahaara.
He turned as she approached, frowning. “Nikhat? Is something wrong?”
She glared at him, the haunting desperation in her finding a target. Years of pain coated her cutting words, the freedom of finally making a decision lending her the strength to lash out. “You knew he’s going to be king. And yet you didn’t say a word. Are you so ashamed of me? Do I mean nothing to you?”
His mouth compressed, he blanched and she thought he would walk away without a word. But she wouldn’t let him.
Instead, he covered her hand with his. And tears gathered in her throat. “I have never wanted this grief for you, Nikhat.”
“No, all you wanted was for me to be average and traditional, but I’m not, Father.”
“You think I don’t know that?” He sighed deeply, something stark in his gaze. “I never quite learned how to protect you.”
Her gaze flew to him. “What are you talking about?”
“I know you blame me for your mother’s death. But I never wanted a son at the cost of her life, Nikhat. She did. She was obsessed with it, weaved dreams about what I wanted.”
Just as Nikhat had done. She sagged against the wall. She always thought that it had been her father who had wanted a son. And yet thinking back, he had never actually said that. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Her father stared ahead and she instantly realized he was not comfortable talking about this. And yet he was making the effort. “You were twelve when she died, Nikhat. You were already grieving, taking on so many duties around the house. And later, I didn’t want to taint your memory of her.
“Why would I feel the need for a son when I had you, when in every way that mattered, you always helped me as much as you could?”
Shock reverberating through her, Nikhat shook her head. Lies, they had to be lies. But having lived away for so long, she had forgotten what a rigid, traditional man her father was. Had she expected him to be different just as she was now?
Clutching her hand tight between his, he met her gaze. And the pride and love she saw in those brown eyes that she had inherited, swept through her. “From the moment you were born, you were this bundle of wonder, Nikhat, unlike anything I had ever expected in a daughter.
“Like every other man in Dahaar, I thought you had very less consequence for me. I loved you as I do every one of your sisters, but you…you were a revelation.
“As you grew older, I had no idea what I would do with you, how to channel your intelligence, your thirst for more than I could provide. I was both afraid and so proud when King Malik commanded that you be educated by Princess Amira’s side.
“I despaired of how I would protect you, your happiness from the world, from your own expectations…” He exhaled a long breath. “And from Prince Azeez.
“As your father, that was my foremost duty to you, Nikhat. To protect you.
“When you learned of your condition, I was terrified of what you would do.”
“You knew?”
“Of course I knew. I read every report, and it broke my heart. Once again, I was afraid of what kind of future you would have in Dahaar. But you shocked me with your strength. And suddenly, I saw that you had the perfect solution. You were destined for greater things, and Dahaar and I, we would do nothing but curtail you. Prince Azeez would bring nothing but pain to you.