This seesaw of emotions every time he looked at her was the last thing he needed in his life right now. He had to get away from the palace, from her, from his brother. He had to do something useful or go crazy.
“I proposed a trip to the desert and my brother is threatening to lock me up and throw away the key.”
She paled, her angular features even more stark. Dark circles hung under her bright eyes. For once, he didn’t feel the sadistic pleasure that she wasn’t handling this any better than him. “Why?”
“Because, as you are well aware, I’m going mad sitting here doing nothing.”
“I have to run this country, Azeez. I don’t have time to come looking for you nor an answer for Mother if you disappear again. You can’t do this to her again.”
Azeez flinched, even as he deserved his words. How did he explain to his brother how useless he felt here, even as every single palace matter around him seeped into his blood? His mind, not drenched by alcohol, and his body making slow progress toward less pain, he needed to get out.
He chose his words carefully, the very idea that had come to him this morning filling him with renewed energy. But he didn’t want his brother to latch onto it and use it as weapon to bind Azeez to Dahaar permanently.
“Khaleef said there have been problems with communications to the Sheikh of Zuran.”
Just as he expected, a light came on in Ayaan’s eyes. “I think Khaleef needs a lesson in protocol, and a reminder about who the Crown Prince of Dahaar is now.”
“I’m still the bloody Prince of—” Azeez gripped the back of his chair, fighting the urge to knock off that knowing smile from his brother’s lips. A lifetime of duty and privilege in his blood was hard to get rid of. “Is it true or not?”
“Yes,” Ayaan said, moving to the window. “I persuaded the Sheikh Asad to sign a treaty four months ago, along with Zohra’s father, about better protection along the borders for all three nations. Now he’s not responding, nor is the High Council of Zuran.” Ayaan ran a hand along his nape. “I don’t like the silence on their side.”
“That’s why it’s imperative that I go.”
“I don’t understand.”
His brother had truly become everything he needed to be king. Azeez knew Ayaan was only acting ignorant to force him to put the proposal into words. But anything was better than being stuck here, visiting the past in a relentless loop. “I have contacts, Ayaan. How do you think I gathered the information that I fed you before you brought me here? I can have them dig out information on what’s going on in Zuran for you. Sheikh Asad was always a thorn in father’s side, too.”
The silence that met his statement was more deafening than an explosion. And it pulled his already stretched patience thin.
The restlessness inside him grated at him. He had never in his life been without purpose like this. And he had to find one, first a temporary one and then a permanent one.
“I don’t know that you’re physically up to—”
“Of course I am. I survived without you or your doctors for six years. I came back from a wound that tore my hip apart. I remained sane as blood left my body remembering Amira’s face and yours.” Azeez held his brother’s gaze, hating him in that moment.
“This is the one thing where I can do something to help, instead of being trapped here in this palace,” he said through gritted teeth, willing his brother to understand him. “I’ll never be anything but a prisoner inside these walls, Ayaan. When will you see that?”