She gave a small satisfied smile. 'And I bet the world hasn't come crashing down, has it?'
He gave an eye-roll. 'It's actually a relief to not be bogged down in day-to-day operations. I now have more time to focus on a strategic level.'
He paused for a minute, uncertain of where to take the conversation. There was so much more he should say, but he couldn't find the right words.
'How about you? What are your plans?'
For a split second she winced, but then she sat up in her seat, her voice unwavering as she spoke. 'I've had a lot of orders since Paris, and more than ever I'm determined to make Little Fire the most exciting bespoke textile design business in the world. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the people of Mooncoyne, I want to become part of the community. Get involved. I want to establish roots, to belong.'
Fresh admiration for her determination to succeed washed over him. But then a kick of reality came when it dawned on him that he didn't feature in any of her plans. Which was only to be expected. And yet it twisted in his gut that they would soon go their separate ways.
It was what he wanted. What they had to do. Wasn't it?
CHAPTER TWELVE
HISHELICOPTER LANDED on the hospital's helipad and within minutes they were rushing through the front doors of the hospital.
The receptionist at the front desk blushed furiously when she looked up to see Patrick, and garbled out directions to the delivery ward. As she left Aideen gave her an understanding smile. He had that effect on all women. Herself included.
He didn't wait for the lifts but instead took the steps up to the third floor two at a time. Aideen followed his frantic pace, glad she was fit from cycling around Mooncoyne.
Again there was a flutter of activity when he stopped at the nurses' desk. Then they were directed to a number of chairs dotted along the corridor outside the delivery rooms, while one of the nurses went into the delivery suite to enquire if Orla was able to see him.
She could feel Patrick's nervousness radiating off him. 'It's going to be okay.'
He looked at her for a long while and then nodded, the tension in his face easing a little.
The door of the delivery suite opened and the nurse came back out, beaming. 'They're ready for you,' she said.
Patrick looked at Aideen in amazement. 'Does that mean that...that the baby has been born already?'
Memories of holding her own niece for the first time, the tremendous wave of love that had speared her heart, caused a lump of happiness to form in Aideen's throat. 'Yes. You better get in there.'
'Will you come in with me?'
'No. This is your time with Orla and her baby.'
He hesitated for a moment. 'What if I say the wrong thing?'
'You won't. Just be yourself... And remember Orla is a mum now, well capable of looking after herself. She doesn't need you to make decisions for her-she just needs your support.' She paused and eyed him with amusement. 'And advice... But only if she asks for it.'
'Will you wait here for me? I'd like to introduce you to Orla.'
'I'll wait.'
He stood and moved to the door, but then turned and said, 'Thank you. For everything.'
She returned his smile, but after the door had swung closed after him it slowly faded.
From the delivery suite she could hear the murmur of voices. Earnest, but with no hint of argument. Maybe they would be okay. She willed them to be kind and patient with one another. To realise that they needed each other. She hoped they could forget the past and realise what a wonderful future they had before them.
Patrick would be a great uncle. He had so much generosity and integrity burning inside him. Along with strength and pride. He would be an incredible role model for Orla's baby.
The murmurs had given way to light laughter. Patrick now had a newly expanded family to fill his life.
It was time for her to move on.
She left a brief note for him on her chair, and then walked back down the stairs and out of the hospital. She would get a cab to the train station. In Cork, she would get a bus to Mooncoyne.
As she queued at the taxi rank she tried to ignore the excited families going in and out of the hospital. But when a young couple emerged, the dad proudly holding his newborn child, she had to turn away, tears filming her eyes. She could go and stay with her own family, here in Dublin, but knew that if she saw her mum she would instantly burst into tears.
She would go home and lose herself in her work.
The taxi rank was busy and the line shuffled along slowly. With growing impatience she willed the taxis to come. She needed to get home. She needed to be in Mooncoyne. She needed the silence and beauty of West Cork in order to heal her broken heart.
At last it was her turn. The taxi drew to a halt, but just as she stepped forward to open the rear door a hand clasped her arm.
Patrick.
* * *
She had been crying. He tried to draw in a deep breath, but his heart was pounding too loudly, his stomach flipping so frantically there simply wasn't enough room for his lungs to expand. He'd panicked when he had realised she had gone, and her note hadn't helped. She had said she wished him well, but would prefer it if he didn't contact her again.
This was going to be the most important conversation of his life.
What if he messed up?
What if he failed to convince her?
For a moment he hesitated, fearful of blowing this.
He had to pull himself together.
'Will you come for a walk with me?'
She looked back at the taxi and for a moment he thought she was going say no. But then her shoulders dropped and the wariness of her gaze lessened.
'Is this a good idea?'
He gave her a crooked smile and shrugged. 'I'm hoping it's the best idea I ever had.'
She stared at him in confusion, but then a faint hint of amusement shone in her eyes. 'Okay.'
He took her to a nearby park, where sunlight glimmered through the trees and cast dark dancing shadows on the grey tarmacadam paths.
He didn't know where to start, so he just blurted out everything that had been building in his chest, in his mind, in his heart, for the past week.
'I've missed you.'
She looked at him with surprise and hurt.
God, this was harder than he'd thought. He wanted her to understand but he couldn't find the words. He was usually articulate, forceful. But all of that was now lost to him.
Should he just take her into his arms and kiss her? Physically show her what he was trying to say?
That wasn't the answer.
He needed to start making things right.
'I'm sorry for what happened in Paris.'
Her head whipped round. In a rush, she said, 'No, I should apologise. I said things that were too intense.' Pointing to the cute blush on her cheeks she added, 'As you can see, I'm pretty embarrassed about it all. I didn't mean to put you under any pressure. I guess I misread all the signs.'
He shook his head. 'No, you weren't to blame. Everything happened so quickly. The intensity of it all got to me. After focusing on nothing but work for so long I felt overwhelmed.'
Her mouth twisted ruefully. 'I guess what I said would have had most guys heading for the hills.'
A heavy sadness sat in his chest and his throat tightened with emotion. 'Not if they'd experienced what we had together. It was special... But I had believed for so long that I wasn't cut out to be in a relationship I couldn't see beyond that.'
She looked at him, bewildered. 'I don't know why you keep saying that you aren't suited to be in a relationship. Forget me, for one moment, and what we had. All I can see before me is a thoughtful, strong, honourable man who is deserving of love.' She shook her head in exasperation. 'You deserve to be loved, Patrick. I just hope in the future you can learn to let people into your life.'
He inhaled a steadying breath. He needed to let his heart speak and ignore the vulnerability and fear of exposing himself. The fear that she would say no.
'You asked me in Paris why I couldn't be in a relationship and I didn't answer you truthfully. It was a step I just couldn't take. Even now it feels like I'm about to yank out my heart and give it to you...which makes me feel pretty exposed.'
She looked at him, confused.
He took a deep breath.
'When Orla moved in with me I was frightened of losing her, like I'd lost my mum and dad. So I tried to protect her as best I could. But now, because of you, I understand that I took the wrong approach. I shouldn't have been so controlling, so protective. I should have included her in the decisions that had to be taken in the new life we were both suddenly facing.'
He inhaled a deep breath against the way his insides were tumbling.
'You were right about Orla. I have to let her decide what support she wants from me. I'll admit it will be hard to change, after years of trying to take charge, but I know I can no longer foist what I think she needs on her.'