“You look a million miles away.”
She started at the sound of Ian’s whisper. Pulling away from her thoughts, she looked over and caught the gleam of his eyes as he watched her in the dark. “What time is it?” he asked.
“Four o’clock.”
“What are you doing awake? Everything okay?”
The darkness made the concern in his voice sound urgent. So much so that for a second, she worried he’d heard her thoughts. “Fine,” she lied. “Couldn’t get comfortable is all. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. I wasn’t sleeping all that well to begin with.” He scrubbed his hand over his face, his strangled sigh loud in the darkness. “Too much on my mind, I guess.”
Regrets? Her insides steeled, ready for rejection. “Anything I can do?”
“You’ve already done more than enough,” he replied, rolling to his side. “In fact, you’ve been pretty darn incredible.”
Chloe fought the urge to burrow under his arm. Afterglow compliments were no doubt standard operating procedure for a man with Ian’s experience, and he still managed to say the words with such tenderness, her insides melted. “Are you trying to make me blush?” she asked, grateful for the darkness.
“I do like the color your skin turns.” He nuzzled her curls. “I knew,” he murmured against her temple. “From the minute you walked in wearing those high heeled boots, all curls and attitude. I knew you’d be a force of nature.” He pulled back. “Why do you wear those high heels?”
“So the world will see me coming.” And be forced to acknowledge her existence.
“You’re very hard to ignore.” She felt him smile. “Even before you tossed your iced coffee. Now—” he gave her a quick kiss “—how about we see what we can do to make you more comfortable.”
Rolling on his back, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She nestled into the crook of his arm, burying her face against his neck.
“Better?” he asked.
“Definitely.”
It was her second lie of the night. Being in Ian’s strong embrace wasn’t better; it was the best. Once more, the words she feared danced before her eyes. Complete. Real. Forever.
Something was off, Ian thought as he pried open his eyes, and it wasn’t the empty expanse on the other side of the bed or the sound of the shower.
In point of fact, it was exactly those two things, along with the tightness in his gut when he noticed them. Usually, on mornings after, he was the one up early, looking for a drink and a way out.
Perhaps that was why he felt so unsettled. Not only had he given in to temptation—enjoying every blessed second, he might add—but here he was, lounging in bed without any inclination to move.
The shower stopped, and a few minutes later, Chloe stepped into the room wrapped in a towel. As soon as she spied him, she flashed a smile. “You’re awake. I was afraid I’d have to throw cold water on you.”
Still might, he thought, adjusting the blanket. There was way too much honey-colored skin on display. Pushing into a sitting position, he pretended to lounge against the headboard until he could get this body under control. It was a lost cause. As Chloe bent over to scoop her clothes from the floor, all hope vanished. Man, he really did suck when it came to resisting temptation.
“Actually, I’m surprised I slept as late as I did. Guess all that tossing and turning at 4:00 a.m. caught up with me.”
“I hope it wasn’t because I used you as a pillow.
“Curli, you using me as a pillow was the second best part of the night.”
There it was, that gorgeous pink blush. The same color her skin turned when she was aroused. “Last night was pretty...um...” She bent to retrieve a stray sock. “What time would you like to leave?”
“Leave?” The hem of her towel had risen, affecting his concentration.
“I’m assuming you must be eager to hit the road so you can see Matt.”
“I am.” Unsure where this conversation was going, he drew out his answer. The way her eyes were glued to her clothes rather than on him gave him pause. “Why do you ask?”
“No reason. While I was in the shower, I got to thinking that maybe...” She crumpled the sock in her fist. “Maybe I should have you drop me off at the train station, after all.”
“What?” He sat up straighter. “I don’t understand. When I asked you yesterday, you didn’t want anything to do with the idea.”
Why the one-eighty?
“Yesterday you were talking about hiking through the ice and asking a total stranger to drive me. Now that you’re back to driving, the situation is different.
“Besides,” she added, “you’re going to want privacy when you talk with Matt. I’ll only be in the way.”
Mostly I tried to stay out the way.... Why did that comment pop into his head?
“You would have been in the way Saturday, too. That didn’t stop you from tagging along.”
“Saturday was before...”
They slept together. Of course. Typical Chloe with her bravado. She was trying to act casual, something she was clearly not accustomed to doing. Guilt stabbed him in the gut. You selfish bastard.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I want you there,” he told her. Finally, she showed her face. With her clothes clutched to her chest, she eyed him warily. “You sure?” she asked.
“Positive,” he replied. So much so, it shocked him. “But first, there’s someplace else I want you.” Drawing back her side of the covers, he patted the mattress.
Chloe’s eyes widened. “I thought you were in a hurry to see Matt?”
“We’ve got plenty of time, Curli. Plenty of time.”
He’d forgotten how big the state university was. Driving onto campus felt more like entering a small city. It didn’t matter if it was raining; students still roamed everywhere.
Just as Ian turned a corner, a flash of red rushed by his driver’s side window. He sucked in his breath, only to realize it was a false alarm.
Chloe shifted in her seat, reminding him he wasn’t alone. “We played in a tournament here once. I remember the girls from their team were Amazons.”
Picturing her long, muscular legs, he smiled. “Like you should talk.”
“I was downright petite in comparison, thank you very much. Did Matt text you?”
“Not yet.” Ian had sent a message before leaving the Bluebird. “He’s probably in class.” He ignored the lump in his stomach determined to remind him it’d been three days since the first call, with no word.
“What are we going to do then? The campus is a little big to simply wander around asking if anyone knows Matt Black.”
“Only place we’re going to wander to is the president’s office. I’m sure with a little persuasion we can get ahold of Matt’s schedule.”
She stared at him. “In other words, you plan to buy your way around the privacy rules.”
“Hey, perks of being rich.” If only his insides matched his outward confidence. The closer they got, the more he wondered if this plan, which had made such sense in New York, was going to work.
A familiar silhouette near the center of the parking lot caught his eye. Driving closer, he discovered the boy had brown hair. Another mistake.
He parked and let his forehead drop to the steering wheel.
“How are you holding up?” Chloe asked.
Holding up? His stomach was stuck in his throat. “I keep seeing kids I think are him,” he told her. Of course, the odds of Matt simply walking by were slim to none.
“You’ll see him soon enough,” she said.
“I know.” The thought made his pulse race. Thirteen years was so very long. “What if it’s a mistake?”
“What are you talking about? Of course it’s not a mistake.”
“No, I mean being in his life at all. What if...” Ian struggled against the fear rising up inside him. “What if he’s better off without me?”
“He’s not,” Chloe said. “He’s going to want his father in his life.”
She believed that because of her own father. “Not all dads are worth having. Mine was a miserable drunk.”
“You are worth having.”
Damn, did she have to speak with such assurance? “You don’t know that,” he said, shaking his head.
He turned his wrist so their palms faced each other, and entwined their fingers. The connection calmed him. He thought of how many times and ways she’d comforted him this weekend. Now he was about to lean on her once more. She should hear the whole story, though. “I didn’t build Ian Black Technologies to save lives. I built it to make a fortune. So I could rub my success in my father’s face. Nothing else mattered. Nothing.”
Years of working nonstop. Drinking and working. Leaving the people who cared because he was too drunk and too driven to give them what they needed.
“I wanted so badly to prove him wrong,” he said, staring at the rain-covered windshield. “Instead, all I did was prove I was as miserable a bastard as he was. What if being around me does the same thing to Matt?”
Slowly Ian turned to face her, expecting reproach. Instead, he saw a sheen in her eyes brighter than ever before. “It won’t,” she whispered.