He stepped closer, but my instincts dulled. I should have pulled away before he took my hand.
Temptation.
Hadn’t we suffered enough?
“I was wrong,” he said.
His words heated through me, whispered in delicate praise and forbidden closeness. He brushed my cheek. The pleasure ached in me.
“I was using you to fight the pain in myself,” he said. “I thought you were the key to conquering my fears, but I was a fool. I was meant to forgive my past. That was the only way I’d finally have peace. I misled you, Honor. I hurt you. I…lost you.”
I hated myself for pressing into his hand. The warmth, the roughness of his fingers struck through me. It took every strength I possessed not to touch him as well.
So I reached for his robes.
Twisted my fingers in the cassock.
Held on to him, but pushed him away. I fought my every instinct to collapse in his arms.
Father Raphael stroked me. “You are not a test of my faith. You renewed it.”
“Don’t.”
“You aren’t a challenge for me to overcome. You were the way.”
“We can’t speak like this.”
“I thought you were an angel sent to test me, Honor.” His words lowered. “I was wrong. You were sent to save me, and it’s because of you I am healed.”
His lips brushed mine, but I twisted away before the softness dizzied my head and broke my heart any more. He leaned down, whispering into my ear, forcing me to listen to this beautiful torture.
“I wanted to be a priest for the wrong reasons. You would have me face the world as a man for the right ones.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I wrote a letter to the bishop this afternoon.”
“A letter?”
“A petition for my laicization.”
My breath caught, hard against a bubbling hope and wicked joy. He touched my face, and his words caressed the rest of me in gentle, loving warmth.
“I’m resigning my position,” he said. “It isn’t fair to the parish. I can’t devote my heart to the church while belongs to another.”
“But you can’t.” I trembled in his arms. “This is your calling.”
“I can’t hurt you, deny you, or live this life apart from you. How can I heal others, how could I help others, if I lost the one who saved me? I love you, Honor. I would have you be mine…if you would take this sinner for your own.”
I breathed his words.
I prayed.
I silenced my own hope.
“You would give this up for me?” I asked.
“I already have. I did the moment I met you, whether I understood it or not. It was never temptation. It was never lust. It was never sin.” He pressed his lips to mine, and I savored a truth that tasted so sweet. “I fell in love with you, and no one, not God, not the devil, not even my own past can deny me this blessing.”
I held him close. “Is it a sin to follow our hearts?”
“No, my angel. This is our absolution.”
Epilogue – Honor
Five Months Later
Blessed are the wedding planners.
A day of dress fittings, shoe shopping, menu designing, and flower arrangements was a new type of hell I hadn’t known existed. We had a month until the wedding, but Alyssa and Samantha worked Mom into a tizzy, changing most of the details while demanding more decorations, a larger band, a bigger cake…
I only wanted the chance to stand at the altar with the man I loved and whisper my vows to him, God, and any who were still shocked by the scandal of it all.
It didn’t matter what the band played, what dinner we had, or whether we folded the napkins like roses or doves. As long as I had Rafe, I could stand before the altar naked for all I cared.
Though…we promised we wouldn’t do that anymore.
My classes let out at two, and I raced from the college to the boutique and florists. I met Mom with the caterer—a lovely woman from the parish—and made it to Rafe’s home at six.
And beat him there.
The little house was a perfect starter home for us, but I hadn’t moved in yet. The laicization process took months, and it was time we played by the rules. No indiscretions before marriage.
I hated that it was the one tenant we decided to honor.
But I had a key to his house, and I let myself in—carefully. He was still in the process of renovating. He said he wanted something fit for his bride. The church was involved in enough habitat for humanity ventures that I never doubted his skill, but…
I traced the lovely engravings on the cabinet doors. Scripture verses carved in beautiful calligraphy.
He put so much of himself into our home. Entirely too much.
After resigning from the clergy, he took the position as executive director for St. Cecilia’s struggling school system. It took most of his time and energy, but in just a few months the budget was balanced, attendance had risen, and the kids seemed happier.