Sweetest Sin(69)

She spoke too much. I silenced her with a kiss, reaching for the oils we kept under a lock and key, safe from everyone but me. I reserved only a small portion for tonight, knowing how precious and rare it was.

“This is a special oil. Chrism.” I breathed slowly, dipping my fingers into the vial and spreading it over my hands. “I cannot bless it. It is consecrated only one day a year, Maundy Thursday, Holy Thursday, and only by a bishop.”

A position Benjamin wanted for me. A role I would never accept. Not now. Not after this.

“Should you…waste it?” Honor asked.

“This is no waste.”

I lowered my fingertips to her body, watching in amazement as she arched to meet my hand.

Was this how it should have been?

A body arching to feel a touch?

For so long, I only knew to fear a touch. I lived because of the instinct to duck, flinch. Pray for it to pass.

My fingers dragged over her skin. Down. Over. Forming a cross over her chest. The oil was intended for foreheads, lips, breast over the heart.

This woman was my heart. All of her. Quivering. Shaking.

Longing for my touch.

The oil slickened her body. She gasped as I blessed every part of her, sliding my hands along her dark skin, over her breasts, rubbing against the budded nipples that strained and begged for more than perfumed oil.

I touched lower, following the holy water. My hands tensed as I studied where her legs parted for me. She wanted me to touch that sacred mystery of mysteries. Her body twisted. She licked parted lips and breathed heated sighs.

Just as I had yet to feel that ecstasy, I would withhold it from her.

For a moment.

Just a moment.

I prepared her for it instead.

“I don’t know what I’ll do when I take you.” I warned her with a shamed growl. “Your body is so pure, so innocent, so fragile. I fear my strength.”

“Don’t, Father.”

“You don’t understand the urges I have.”

“They’re natural.”

“They’re evil.”

Honor stared at me as she twisted her hands in the linen beneath her waiting body. “You want me, Father. You can have me. You won’t hurt me. You won’t destroy me. You won’t lose me.”

“The things I want are…so twisted.”

“It’s passion, Father.”

“It’s dominance.”

“Then I submit.”

I laughed. “You have no choice.”

“I have every choice, and I choose to give myself to you.”

This misguided girl. I took her innocence, but she still suffered the delusion. Sex was not the passionate, loving embrace she imagined.

It was primal. Wicked.

Meant to overpower.

I hated the thought of corrupting her, but I’d shield her from my perversion of faith.

I untangled the rosaries from my hand and held out the beads. Honor lifted her head, accepting the gift. It wasn’t right to wear the rosaries as a necklace, but the instant the chain struck her flesh, the silvered cross lying between her breasts, I knew it was the most beautiful and sacrilegious and blessed vision I had the privilege of seeing.

I pulled her legs to the end of the altar, pressing a hand to her chest to prevent her from rising.

This was what I’d wanted to see.

What I’d dreamed of.

Honor defenseless, aching, naked. Waiting on the altar for the moment of utter sanctity when I’d rend through her with every perverse and befouling desire that hardened me for sin.

My innocent angel slickened for me. She had no idea the dangers that awaited her.

I stepped to the altar, wrapping her legs around my waist. Her breasts rose and fell in quick, harsh breaths. I clenched my jaw and pumped my cock. My soul threatened to tear me apart if I didn’t seek relief in her body.

“Forgive me,” I whispered. “I can’t fight this temptation.”

“It’s okay, Fath—”

I thrust inside her, one solid and demanding strike. My cock forced itself in, rutting to the hilt and grinding flesh against flesh as I sheathed my impossible length within her delicate slit.

I expected her to cry out.

To squirm. Fight. Beg.

I thought she’d try to run…as I had so often fought to escape.

Honor arched instead. Her whisper cried my name in sweetness.

And her body shuddered in shivers of delight.

I withdrew, each inch without the comfort of her molten slit a pained and terrible punishment. I pulled to end and teased my cock with the agonized shudders that wracked my spine.

Nothing compared to this feeling. This tightness. This squeezing and unrelenting tremor that enveloped my body from the clenching of hers.

I sliced through her again, filling her, stretching her when her body tensed over me. I made the room I needed for my own pleasure.