This was a new—and horrifying—revelation. “What?”
“You were too young to remember, but you’re old enough now to hear the truth.”
Obviously not!
Oh, God. Mom didn’t do benders anymore unless it was spouting family problems that should have stayed within our home. It didn’t matter to her. Through a court-ordered sobriety class—and a renewed faith—she came to terms with her problems…and she ensured everyone else understood them too.
Alyssa and Samantha covered their mouths, and the older women shifted uncomfortably in their seats. To them, Mom was a Pablo Escabar in a world of Betty Crocker, and nothing I could do would save her reputation. My stomach twisted.
“But this girl is worth fighting for,” Mom continued. “She will be an asset to this church. Father Rafe, you’ll see. She’s a damn fine Catholic.” She flinched. “Darn. Forgive me.”
Father Raphael’s smile eased the tension in the room. “Then she is welcomed to my flock.”
Humiliation and shivers didn’t blend well. I scrunched in my seat as Alyssa and Samantha slowly uncrossed and re-crossed their legs, knowing full-well just what they exposed as they did it.
Father Raphael didn’t look.
He only watched me.
“Well…” Judy stared at her clipboard and awkwardly massaged her temple. “I honestly have no idea where we were in the agenda…so…we’ll get right to the announcements before we do a little bible study.”
And I had forgotten my Bible at home. Granted, I had the app on my phone, but the last thing I wanted was for Father Raphael to think even less of me. Then again, his opinion couldn’t possibly get any worse.
It must have been why his gaze sliced through me, trying to discover every secret and sin that tempted us.
I licked my lip. Why was I breathing so hard?
Why did I like how intently he stared at me?
“Our St. Cecilia Festival needs more volunteers…” Judy wagged a sign-up sheet. “We’re looking for organizers, decorators, people to work the concession stand, someone to help organize the vendors…”
Judy waited. The room was silent.
His voice lowered. “Come on, ladies. Don’t make me beg.”
Alyssa and Samantha shared a glance before both of their arms shot into the air.
Judy grimaced. “Yes…I’ll mark your names down, girls.” She tapped her pen in an impatient, staccato rhythm before I finally glanced up. “Honor?”
“The festival?” I hesitated. If I volunteered, it meant working with Father Raphael. Together. Through the summer. Potentially alone. I swallowed. “I don’t know if I’ll have the time.”
“Nonsense!” Mom laughed. “You’ll have plenty of time.”
I gritted my teeth. This was not the place to discuss my plans for the summer, but I turned to Mom, speaking low.
“Mom, I have to find another summer job...” Or else we weren’t going to eat.
“Oh, you’ll have time. You need these extracurriculars.” Mom waved to Judy. “Put her name down.”
“We should talk about this at home.”
“It’ll build your resume. You want to do social work in the diocese after you graduate?” She pointed to Father Raphael with a wink. “He’s your man. Work the festival, and I bet he’ll give you a good recommendation after you finish this last semester.”
I doubted that.
Father Raphael folded his hands in his lap. I wished I hadn’t stared at where they dropped. “I’ll make it fun, Honor. Promise.”
I didn’t trust what I thought was fun with him. Stolen conversations. Nighttime confessions.
Dark and twisted and wonderful fantasies.
Alyssa answered for me. “She’ll do it. She’ll be there anyway. She’s singing in the choir with us, Father. We convinced her to try out for the Battle of the Choirs group.”
Father Raphael’s smile turned victorious. “Wonderful. I’m so glad you’re that…persuasive.”
This was a bad idea, made worse by the shiver of excitement that threaded through my mind. The wicked seed sprouted from a forlorn hope that maybe, somehow, I’d find a way to speak with him again. I could be near him once more, and I’d indulge that craving to be close with him.
I stayed silent as the other announcements were read, and Father Raphael offered an opening prayer and blessing. My fingers quivered as I crossed myself, but nothing eased me.
Especially the bible verse chosen for our meeting.
Father Raphael read it, commanding and warm. His attention focused on me, not even reading from his Bible. I wished I hadn’t ached for the attention.