Sweetest Sin(13)

Oh.

I shuddered, wishing my heart would beat steadily instead of flaring to life in a dramatic rush every time his name was mentioned.

“I don’t know…” I said.

Alyssa’s smile was wicked and completely unapologetic. “Oh, Daddy El. He brings out the Mary Magdalene in me. Don’t tell me you haven’t looked.”

“I don’t…we can’t think about him like that.”

“Why not? He’s absolutely divine,” she teased. “Those dark eyes? His voice. God. I could listen to him preach for hours.”

Samantha gave a wiggle. “He’s the best thing that’s happened to Mass since Vatican II.”

They laughed. I forced a smile, but I didn’t dare indulge in speaking of him that way, thinking of his eyes, his commanding voice that had demanded my confession and so much more.

It wasn’t harmless fun. I feared my desires had become a dark obsession.

I couldn’t stop thinking of Father Raphael, and he wasn’t just a danger to my fleeting attention span. Surrendering to any indecent, wicked, or alluring thoughts of him would only unravel me more.

I was better than this. Stronger. I vowed to fight that attraction.

So why did my skin pickle as they giggled over his name? I silently chastised them, but the true shame centered solely within me.

“Yesterday?” Samantha lowered her voice, hiding her lips behind her coffee cup. “He played basketball in the courtyard with the youth group.”

“In the cassock?” Alyssa’s eyes widened.

“And sunglasses,” Samantha said.

“Oh, that man. Nothing is as sexy as the cassock, but under those robes? He’s totally ripped. Who’d have thought a priest would put so much effort into his appearance.”

Samantha winked. “Our body is a temple.”

“I’d worship his all night.”

“What a waste.”

I bit through the cookie so hard I was lucky I didn’t shatter a tooth. Father Raphael’s cassock symbolized something impenetrable and mysterious and intimidating. It hid what was once the man and presented only the priest.

And they were right. It was unbelievably sexy.

I shrugged. “It’s certainly…formal.”

“He says he likes it that way,” Alyssa whispered. “He’s strict about almost everything, including his presentation.”

“Wonder if he’s strict in other places besides the church?” Samantha asked.

“I bet he has other uses for that cincture around his waist.”

Thoughts blinded me. Desperate, unholy images of silks and bindings, bodies and heat.

“We really shouldn’t…” I didn’t even want to speak it aloud. “He’s a priest.”

Alyssa laughed. “So what? Priests are like the Queen’s guards in England. They’re not allowed to react. You can do anything you wanted to Daddy El, and he couldn’t flirt back.”

“I don’t think that’s true—”

“You know what she needs?” Samantha winked. “Honor should spend more time at St. Cecilia’s.”

Oh, I knew what they wanted. I wagged a finger. “I already said I couldn’t.”

“Come on. The choir was so much more fun in high school. Now everyone’s moved on and gone to college. It’s not the same.” Alyssa pouted. “And you used to love to sing. It’s perfect. You moved home just in time to form our trio.”

Samantha didn’t let me protest. “It’s settled. You’re in. Auditions are later this week for the competitive group. You have to do that too. During the summer festival, we’re holding a Battle of the Choirs. We thought it was kinda lame at first, but Daddy El is excited about it. He wanted to start a new tradition, and he’s already talked to a bunch of other parishes to participate.”

Alyssa bit her lip. “It’s a chance to make him proud. He can show us off to the other churches.”

Yes, exactly what Jesus would do. “I don’t know. My college’s choir wasn’t really formal, and I think the director was just fulfilling some sort of court mandated—”

“The choir?” Mom spoke loud enough to ensure all the women heard her. “Oh, my baby has the sweetest voice. Absolutely heavenly. Go on, honey. Join the choir. You loved it when you were little.”

True, but I had also loved the opportunity to leave the house when I was young.

The women took their seats as Judy cleared her throat with the expectation of quiet. Mom missed the hint. She pulled me into the seat next to her and took my hand, squeezing it with a smile so wide and proud.

“Your voice is such a blessing. You need to praise Him with it.”