Sweet Torment(9)

       
         
       
        

He shrugs. "It's okay for the time being."

I hope that doesn't mean he's planning to leave Lynchburg. "You don't see yourself staying here long-term?"

"Only as long as it takes to save a good down payment for a house."

I was talking about staying in Lynchburg-not the apartment-but I'm thrilled to hear him say he has no plans to move away.

Bram is the mature one out of the three boys. Always sensible with money, dependable with responsibilities, accountable for his actions. Owen and River could stand to take a lesson or two from him.

"I know it needs work."

The walls are white and bare. There's no kind of style or decor. "It's very bachelor pad-ish."

"I have no idea how to decorate. I don't know where to start."

He ain't lying. "I could help you if you want. Give it a woman's touch." I'm no interior designer but I'm certain I can do better than this.

"We'll see."

We'll see. That isn't the response of someone jumping at the opportunity to spend time with me. Sort of like he didn't jump at the opportunity to tutor me either.

I hang my backpack on the chair and dig out my textbook and binder. "I'm sorry Owen roped you into doing this. I know you have much better things to do than teach me calculus."

"I don't mind."

I place my textbook and binder on the table. I go completely still and look into Bram's eyes. "Please don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Lie. Not to me, Duke. That's not who we are." I say the words as though I have confidence in who we are but that's not true. I no longer have a clue where my relationship with him stands.

"It's not a lie. I want you to do well so you can get as many scholarships as possible. Then go to college to pursue your dream and become a huge success. I want the best for you and I'm happy to help any way I can."

I know he wants me to do well but I in no way believe he's stoked about spending this time alone with me. "Regardless of the way you feel about doing this, I appreciate your help."

"I know you do."

I take out my calculus folder. "You better not laugh at my notes."

He smiles as he looks over what I've written. "Hope you haven't chosen a career where calculus is required."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to myself."

"Decided on your major yet?"

"No. It's hard to make that kind of choice when all you really care about is being a photographer." 

"If you want to be a photographer, be a photographer."

I wish it were that easy. "Mom and Dad say the business is too saturated in Lynchburg for me to have success here. They're strongly encouraging me to go into education because it's a stable income."

I come from a family of educators. Mom teaches second grade. Dad teaches history and coaches high school baseball. Everything is already set in motion for Owen. Dad is retiring in May and Owen is going to roll right into his position in August.

I'm the odd one of the family. I have zero interest in a career that involves teaching.

"What do you think about taking your parents' advice?"

"I think I will be miserable if I go into education. I also think spending the next four years at college will be a waste of time and money when my career path doesn't require it. But I'm sure you can imagine how well that went over when I told Mrs. and Coach Bliss that I didn't think I needed to continue my education."

"Your plan isn't their plan, so they believe it's a terrible idea."

"Exactly, but I'm not stupid. I know I need to keep my options open until I decide for sure. That's why I'm working so hard to pull up my calculus grade."

I'm not sure how deep the dent was when my parents were forced to take money out of their savings. That's why it's so important I get scholarships. I want them to keep what they set aside for my education to replenish what they spent on out-of-pocket expenses.

"Scholarships always come in handy, so we'd better get to work on pulling up that grade. Show me what you're having on your next test."

Properties of exponents. Functions and graphs. Variables. Coordinates. Everything Mr. Garrison has to say about those things makes my head spin. But Bram slows the chaos of confusion in my brain. He breaks the equation into smaller pieces that my mind can comprehend.

"Have I explained this problem so that it makes sense to you?"

"For the first time ever, it actually does."

I've always known Bram was smart but hearing him talk about this stuff makes me realize just how intelligent he is. And it's super sexy.