"Doesn't matter. None of them is the one I want."
The one I want. Is she talking about me? My gut says yes, but it doesn't matter. Although she's two months closer to being eighteen, we still can't have this conversation.
"What are you going to do about a date?"
"I'll probably go with Oscar. He doesn't have a date either."
I know him. Lanky little guy who lives down the street from Claudia. He used to come around and play with us a little bit when we were younger. He's one of the few guys I'd trust to escort her and not try anything. "Oscar is a good choice."
"He's a good second choice." Claudia slides her hand across the table and touches the tips of her fingers to mine. "My first choice would be you. It's always been you."
I watch her fingers entwine with mine-and know without a shadow of a doubt that I should pull away-but I don't. I can't. I like the feel of her skin against mine too much to break the contact between us.
"Owen and River never treated me like you did. You were always kind … considerate … patient. I don't remember a time when you didn't seem completely aware of my feelings. You put me ahead of everything else, including yourself. You and I share something different-a very special bond that I think most people never get to experience with another person. It's as though it has no beginning and no end. It simply exists."
Owen and River were always concerned with other things but I can't remember a time when I didn't feel the need to protect Claudia. Always have one eye on her. Keep her close while holding her at a safe distance. As I got older, I thought something must be terribly wrong with me. It wasn't natural for a kid my age to feel the way I did about someone so much younger. The older I got, the more I distanced myself. But it didn't help. That girl was always in my head and heart.
I squeeze her fingers and inhale slowly. What I'm about to do is inappropriate. I know it is, yet I can't stop myself from professing my true feelings. "I've always felt it too-a need to take care of you and keep you safe from harm, to make you happy … to love you."
"What the fuck is going on here?"
Claudia and I jolt at the sound of River's voice and our hands instantly separate. "What the fuck, River? Don't you know how to knock?"
"Didn't think I needed to, you damn pervert." River shoves my shoulders so hard the dining chair flips backward with me in it. He stands over me, his finger pointed at my face. "Owen is going to kill you, if I don't first."
I can't say anything. I don't have a defense.
"Whoa." Claudia dashes to get between us and places her hand against River's chest. "Calm down."
"The hell I will."
"There was nothing to what you saw and heard. Bram was helping me with my lines for a play."
River chuckles and swipes his hand over his facial scruff. "Well, damn. That stuff you were saying to each other sounded real."
Claudia looks at me and then back at River. "It was supposed to sound real. It's called acting."
"Fuuuck. I thought … well, I guess you know what I thought." He offers his hand to help me up from the floor. "Sorry, man. I completely misjudged that situation."
Nothing about his reaction is surprising. "Don't worry 'bout it."
"No, I feel like a complete jackass. I know you wouldn't screw around with your best friend's seventeen-year-old sister."
Claudia groans. "Ugh, you do realize I'm about to be eighteen?"
"Well, you're not yet, so it's still my job to look out for you."
River really thinks it's his job to take care of Claudia? What a fucking joke. I swear to God it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to tell him he's full of shit.
Claud collects the loose papers that scattered here and there during my scuffle with River. "I thought you and Owen would be on your way back to Chattanooga by now."
"We were about to leave. Owen just wanted to stop by and see how the tutoring was going since you hadn't come home yet."
"We finished a little while ago but I decided to stay and cook dinner for Bram since he was nice enough to spend a large part of his day tutoring me."
"Since when do you cook?"
Claudia grins. "I took an interest several months ago."
"You any good at it?"
She lifts the top covering the meat sauce and the aroma floods the kitchen. "I think I'm very good at it."
He looks over her shoulder as she stirs the sauce. "Shit, that looks good. We may need to stay for dinner."