“That’s good… right?”
“More than good.”
“Do you think you’ll ever fully trust me? Ever not expect I’ll cheat on you?”
“I trust you.” At my doubtful expression, he added, “I do, but I’m not sure if the nagging doubt at the back of my head will ever fully leave. Catching Gaia like that...” He shook his head then peered out toward the ocean. “I know most people are capable of doing very bad things. I see it every day. It’s difficult not to always expect the worst.”
I understood him. I couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to catch your partner cheating on you, especially with family. “I won’t cheat. I’ll work for your trust every day no matter how long it takes for your nagging voice to shut up. I love you.”
Cassio bent down, his lips touching mine. “If anyone can shut up my nagging voice, then it’s you. You’ve breathed new life into me.”
“You mean your newfound virility?” I teased, grinning.
Cassio didn’t smile. He stroked my hair, his eyes following his fingers as they slid down. “Into everything. I was dead inside, going through the motions of every day, living for work, for building a future for my kids. While doing that I forgot about the present, about living. You showed me how important it is to live in the moment, to experience my children’s life and not just plan for their future.” He kissed me. Then his smile became darker. “But my newfound virility is definitely another perk of your presence in my life.”
His hand slipped under my shirt. I looked around.
“Nobody can see us here.”
“I know,” I said. Then I stood and took a step back. “But I was thinking of trying out the beach…”
Cassio got up. “You’ll have sand everywhere.”
I took another step back and pulled my shirt over my head. “Maybe I’ll like the additional friction, old man.”
Cassio’s smile turned wolfish. “I think I need to dunk you in the ocean first to punish you for your insolence.”
I backed away, down the stairs, and Cassio stalked me like a hunter after his prey. “Run, little girl, run.”
“I’m not—” He lunged for me but with a choked screech, I jumped back, whirled around, and dashed away. My feet sunk into the soft sand and the cool evening breeze whipped at my hair. I threw a glance over my shoulder, finding Cassio taking off his shoes, shirt, and pants. Rolling my eyes, I dropped my bra and called, “You’ll never catch up with me, old man!”
He was surprisingly fast. Hell, he was faster than any man of his height and muscle mass had any business of being. All the damn workouts were paying off, it seemed.
Giggling, I popped open the button of my shorts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop because Cassio was hot on my heels, and so I almost stumbled in my attempt to shove off my shorts while running. Only in my panties, I sped up even more, trying to run up the dunes and away from the ocean.
“Gotcha,” Cassio growled a moment before his arms wrapped around my middle and he lifted me off the ground. He pressed a hot kiss against my neck then bit down, causing me to gasp. Despite my struggling, he carried me over to the ocean’s edge. “This will be very cold. Fortunately, I know the perfect way to get you warm again.”
“Cassio, don’t you dare!” I warned but he stepped into the waves. The cold spray hit my calves. “Cassio!”
He threw me into the water. Shock at the freezing cold of the Atlantic zapped through my body. I burst through the water surface with a gasp, drawing in a sharp breath as my body struggled to get used to the cold.
Cassio looked as if he was taking a dip in the Caribbean and not the Atlantic. He didn’t even have goose bumps!
I glared at him, but at the same time couldn’t help but grin. Maybe I had surprised him, but he surprised me too. When I’d first seen him in the foyer of my parents’ home, looking so terribly poised and in control, I’d wondered how we’d ever work. We were still different in many aspects of our personalities, but we both made small adjustments for the other. Marriage was giving and taking, and despite Cassio’s need to control everything, he, too had given to make this work.
“How about getting you warm now?” He pressed close to me, pulling me against his wonderfully warm body. His mouth claimed my throat once more.
“No sex in the ocean. I’ll freeze off important assets if we stay in the water any longer.”
Cassio laughed deeply against my skin. “What kind of assets?” His mouth traveled south then closed around my nipple.
I clutched his head, nodding. “That one for example.” I searched the row of houses lined up on the dunes. Light shone in some of them, and I wondered if they’d be able to see us if they looked out toward the ocean.
I didn’t care.
“I’ll keep your assets warm, don’t worry,” he murmured against my skin, and I decided freezing to death might be worth it.
After a quickie in the ocean, I managed to convince Cassio of another round on the beach, which I regretted afterward… just like he’d predicted. A thick coating of sand covered every inch of my body, and more than one grain of sand had found its way in crevices I preferred sand-free. After a long shower, I still felt sore as we settled on the swing once more. Cassio’s I-told-you so face was additional punishment.
Someone knocked at the window. Simona pressed her nose against the glass and hammered her little fists against it. Cassio opened the door and picked her up before he settled with her on his lap beside me. Simona snuggled against him and gave me a tired smile. I ruffled her dark blond locks and curled my legs under my body. Cassio kept the swing in motion with his longer legs.
Not long after, the terrace door opened again, and Daniele stepped out onto the porch barefoot. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled toward us. I hoisted him onto the swing between us, and he rested his little head against my chest.
I’d never considered myself ready to become a mom. I’d felt like a child myself most days before Dad told me about my engagement to Cassio. It was true that you rose to the tasks presented to you if you only faced them head-on. I’d probably mess up often raising these kids. I’d have to learn with them.
Cassio leaned his head back, looking at peace and content. I wanted to be his safe haven. His work was full of blood, conflict, and death. I didn’t want that at home. He caught me staring and gave me a tired smile.
I’d take care of Simona and Daniele, I’d protect them from everything, even the truth. I swore I’d never lie to Cassio, but the truth his father told me would have to be the one exception.
Lies had a way of catching up with you eventually. I hoped this was one of the cases where they didn’t.
Nine years after the wedding
Cassio came home in the afternoon. He’d reserved a table in our favorite restaurant for our ninth anniversary, a small place that served rustic French food. Mia had agreed to watch Simona and Daniele. Though it was more of a sleepover, considering that they were nine and almost twelve. They didn’t need to be watched 24/7 anymore, even if they were up to no good more often than not.
We’d just finished a delicious liver paté with warm Brioche and two glasses of Viognier, my favorite white wine, when I gathered my courage. “Do you still not want any more children?” I meant to ask it in a calm, low voice, but instead I’d blurted it out.
Cassio lowered his glass slowly, brows pulling tight. “Are you…?”
I gave him a look then raised my almost empty wine glass. “Really? You think I’d drink two glasses of wine if I were pregnant?”
He chuckled. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Men,” I muttered, but I couldn’t help but smile. “So, what do you say?”
I was oddly nervous about this. Cassio and I talked about almost everything, except for the kind of business dealings he deemed too brutal for me—and the secret about Simona and Daniele I still carried in the deepest corner of my heart.
Cassio put his hand on mine. “Do you want another child?”
Another child. Not a child, not your own child. We’d come such a long way, and now there was absolutely no doubt that Simona and Daniele were my children too.
“I don’t feel like our family is complete yet. I want to have a baby to cuddle again.”
“They also cry, vomit, and poop, and once they don’t do that anymore, they throw the worst tantrums. You really want that?”
I grinned. “Yes.”
Cassio shook his head as if I was unreasonable, but from the gentle look in his eyes, I knew I had him. “So?”
“If you want another baby, you’ll get it.”
“But what about you? I don’t want you to give me a baby only to do me a favor.”
Cassio bent over the table. “Trust me, giving you a baby isn’t a chore for me.” I slapped his forearm lightly, and he continued in an even lower voice. “I’d love to have a baby with you.”
“We can start today,” I whispered and ran my high heel up his trouser leg, smiling suggestively. In his form-fitting suit, he looked irresistible.
One corner of his mouth rose. “Are you sure you want to miss the Canard à l’orange and the Crepe Suzette?” Hearing Cassio speak French, even if it was only to praise a duck in orange sauce and pancakes was almost too much for what little control I had left.